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Last Updated on November 28, 2017

Admit It, The Way We Learn To Fall In Love Is Wrong

Admit It, The Way We Learn To Fall In Love Is Wrong

A common love scene of romance movies is: the man feels attracted by a pretty woman somewhere (in a restaurant or a party). Then he approaches her and very quickly they become a couple.

You think this is silly? It does happen in real life, a lot.

Admit it, the way we learn to fall in love is wrong.

As no one taught us how to fall in love, neither schools or parents, romance movies become the main sources. We find it normal to love at first sight or fall in love without knowing the person so much.

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But like numbers or vocabulary, we really need to learn it – to learn how to fall in love. If we master the fundamentals rules earlier there wouldn’t be so many failed relationships.

You might have experienced that already. You fell in love happily. Everything seems to be exciting. You do a lot of new things together. Then very soon something seems to be missing. You aren’t sure what that is but you just feel that you aren’t really fulfilled.

It is because you start the relationship without doing these two things:

Spending quality time together

It doesn’t mean you have to stick to each other all the time for a long period of time before you get together. It means you should really observe the person and see if you two really suit each other.

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Does he/she treat servers badly in restaurants? How do they treat their families? Does he/she takes care of you or just focus on himself/herself all the time?

From all these small acts you can tell a lot. Always remember that you shouldn’t just pay attention to how they treat you, but also how they treat other people.

If you look for someone who would take great care of your feelings, can he/she do that?

Asking meaningful questions

Don’t just ask shallow questions like “what’s your favorite food?”. These questions are fine but remember you have a lot more important questions to ask as well.

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For example, ask “what’s a perfect vacation to you?”. This seems to be a shallow question? No. This somehow reveals one’s core values.

If one suggests living in a hostel to meet the local people whereas the other prefers staying at a five-star hotel with perfect privacy, arguments may arise. This kind of discrepancy can cause conflicts in future too as you two just value different things in your lives.

Ask more in-depth questions that can tell more about one’s character and values. More examples are:

What’s your biggest regret in life?

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If you can go back in time, which age would you choose?

What’s the best kind of retired life to you?

Only when you truly know a person can you truly fall in love with him/her, and have a long-lasting relationship.

More by this author

Brandy Chan

Music Lover. Movie Lover. Traveller.

Admit It, The Way We Learn To Fall In Love Is Wrong 100 Inspirational Quotes That Will Make You Love Life Again See What Over 2000 Reddit Users Says About “What’s The Saddest Thing You Ever Done To Fit In?” These Ideas Are Categorised As “What Seems Awesome Until You Tried it”, by Over 1000 Reddit Users Around The World

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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