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I Don’t Travel Once A Year; I Travel Every Day In The Same Old Place

I Don’t Travel Once A Year; I Travel Every Day In The Same Old Place

Traveling is always addictive. Sadly most people on average can only travel once a year, due to the monetary cost, work, etc. But life is so short. Why do we have to wait for a yearly vacation to have such amazing travel experiences?

Before we look into ways to have frequent travel experiences, we need to understand what makes traveling so addictive…

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When we travel, we’re highly stimulated by the new things around us. New buildings, new custom, new faces…When we get so much stimulation at once, we pay closer attention and become more present in the moment. Psychologists say when our mind wanders less, we become happier.[1]

If that’s the magic of travel, why do we have to travel abroad to achieve it? A Staycation can do exactly the same. And we can actually get that travel high EVERY SINGLE DAY even if we are not traveling, as long as we twist our mind a bit.

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By doing the following small things, you’ll feel like traveling every day, though you stay in the same place.

Go to a new restaurant every day

It’s common for us to stick with the few nearby restaurants or our favorite restaurants. This gives us a sense of security. But the bad side is that it makes life predictable and boring. Spend a few minutes every day looking for a new restaurant and be bold to try it.

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Try a new dish once a day

In case there aren’t many restaurants in your place, you can just try a new meal in the same restaurant you always go to. Even if there are over 30 choices on the menu, most of the time we just pick our favorite. Next time when you go there, close your eyes and point your finger somewhere on the menu. When you open your eyes, try ordering the one you’re pointing at.

Go to the same place at a different time

You go to the cafe to buy your coffee every morning. And in the evening you would walk past the park. What if you go to the park in the morning, and buy a piece of cake in the cafe in the evening? Very likely you will find that the faces change and the atmosphere is totally different.

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Take a different seat when you go to the same old place

Maybe you are used to sitting at the corner of the beach. What if sitting near the water? Does the breeze feel different? Can you smell the seawater? Any little creatures around you?

Bring different people with you

When you go alone, you tend to have more self-talk and self-reflection. When you go with your family, you usually talk about the environment you’re staying in. When you go with friends, you often gossip about the strangers around. Go with different people and you’ll have very different experiences. And that’s what makes your daily life much more fruitful and exciting!

Reference

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Chloe Chong

Chloe is a social media expert and shares lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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