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Your Attractiveness Affects Your Love Life? It’s How You Respond To Life That Counts More

Your Attractiveness Affects Your Love Life? It’s How You Respond To Life That Counts More

Do you constantly show your love and affection to your significant other? Or do you only express your feelings of love when your partner expresses theirs to you first?

A lot of people seem to believe that their personalities and looks play a big role in their love lives. You’re not alone. When striking out in the dating world, it’s not uncommon to think something is wrong with the way you look or that you may have a few personality flaws.

However, it’s how you respond to life that makes a much bigger difference. When I changed the way I looked at life and the way I chose to live, my love life transformed.

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Whether we want to admit it or not, love is something we all need. Some of us can be more focused on receiving love rather than giving it. You may or may not know this, but love can be proactive or reactive. For an explanation about what this means, keep reading.

What’s the difference?

Proactive people are ready to go out and make things happen. They decide what they want and go after it without hesitation. They know exactly what they don’t want so they take measures to prevent it from happening.

On the other hand, reactive people are essentially just the opposite. They wait for what they want to happen, and will often complain when and if things do not work out in their favor. Reactive people rarely know what they want out of life, and are generally pretty negative, about everything.

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After reading these definitions, I’m sure you’re able to figure out which type of person you are. If you have come to realize or already know that you’re a reactive person, you must know that this can impact your love life tremendously. As previously stated, it’s much easier to think your looks and personality are to blame for the lack of love in your life. It’s much harder to accept that your outlook on life in general is the reason.

Here’s what I mean…

A proactive lover chooses to give unconditional love without thought. They will look for reasons to love rather than searching for reasons not to love. A proactive lover is selfless. They know that love isn’t always easy, and they’re more than ready to go the extra mile for their partner without any expectations in return.

A reactive lover tends to point out your flaws rather than shining light on your positive qualities. They are more self-centered and they love with conditions attached. This lover tends to wear their significant other down, and puts a very large strain on the relationship. Reactive lovers will constantly take love and rarely give it.

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I once was not in a good place in my life. I had just gotten out of a relationship, I was dissatisfied with my job and my life overall. I let myself get out of shape, I wasn’t taking care of myself, and when a potential relationship didn’t work out in my favor I always had someone or something else to blame.

After a year of consistent negative thoughts about myself and my life, I chose to make a change. I decided to be the person that I would want to meet. I realized that every day I woke up remaining stuck in that negative, reactive mindset would be a day that I would never get back. Making that conscious choice to improve my life has increased my quality of life and my opportunities in regards to love.

The more you give, the more you receive

The best way to be successful in both life and love is to create more value than you take. Think about this: would you rather have a friend who is always taking from you and taking advantage of you? Or would you rather have a friend who is always generous, caring, and offering a helping hand even when you do not ask for it? Most would choose the latter. At one point or another, what you give and put out into the universe will eventually recirculate and find its way back to you.

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If you feel that you have been living your life from a reactive view, it’s never too late to change. That change will start within you. By changing your thoughts, you can change your life. By becoming proactive in life and love, you open the door to so many opportunities that you would have missed before.

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Erica Wagner

Erica is a passionate writer who shares inspiring ideas and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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