Advertising
Advertising

Making New Friends Gets A Lot Harder As We Grow Up Because We Are Not As Open As We Were

Making New Friends Gets A Lot Harder As We Grow Up Because We Are Not As Open As We Were

It kind of makes sense, that as we grow older it is much harder to sustain friendships, let alone make new ones. There are a number of reasons for this. First of all, as careers, relationships and kids become our priorities, there is simply not enough time to chill all day with our besties and talk about everything. Moreover, as we get more mature, we get pickier about who we spend our precious time with. Remember when you were a teenager, you could hardly count all the members of your squad? And now, you can barely have one person to talk to once a month. Yet, this doesn’t have to be the end of your social life. Even better yet, now it is the time to make true and closer friendships that will last for a lifetime. Let’s learn how.

The new old friends

In order to warm up for creating new friendships, you can try reconnecting with the old ones first. This doesn’t mean we have to call each and every person we met, no matter how much we liked them. We all know a couple of great people we used to hang out with, that we simply stopped seeing due to our busy schedules. Make time to make a couple of phone calls and see how they are doing. This could be beneficial in many ways:

Advertising

  • Firstly, you will be much more comfortable meeting new people once you start in the familiar ground.
  • Secondly, you may make more honest and open friendships with those people now that you have matured and are ready for more meaningful connections.
  • Finally, old friends have probably met some new people that could potentially be your new friends as well.

Now that you have made the first step with the old friends, it is time to make some new ones. Here are some suggestions as how to make genuine connection with people you meet.

Advertising

Be interested rather than interesting

When found in a new social group, most of us would focus on being interesting so as to make people like us. This is fine up to a point, but, if we are looking for ways to connect with people on a deeper level, we should prioritize listening instead of entertaining. People like when they feel they are being heard and when others show honest interest in their thoughts, feelings and beliefs about anything. By actively listening to what someone is expressing, we would show that we are not shallow and narcissistic, but respectful and caring. Moreover, once we take an interest in other people’s lives, we would be much more able to find things we have in common and build on that as we move forward.

Advertising

Put yourself out there

In order to get something, you have to be able to give something too. Don’t be afraid to share some of your personal thoughts, feelings, or struggles with others. Being vulnerable will make you more human and people will respond to that. This doesn’t mean that you have to go around and tell all of your secrets to everyone who says “Hi!” to you. Once you meet people who you feel you can trust and have a lot in common with, feel free to be more vulnerable and share a bit more. This makes a bridge between good friends to very close friends. As we open up, we are letting people to truly get to know us, which makes us go from an acquaintance to a real human being in their eyes. Also, people will be much more willing to share their deepest feelings with us, as they will feel they can trust us and find a kindred spirit and a loyal friend in us.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

Advertising

More by this author

Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

Who Says All Introverts Hate Socializing? Here’s The Truth About Introvert And Extrovert Every Time You Drink A Beer, Remember To Drink The Same Amount Of Water You’re Exceptionally Creative If You See The Correct Image (Only 1/100 People Can Do This!) If You Have These 6 Struggles, You’re Highly Intelligent 15 Things To Stop Doing If You Want To Be Truly Happy

Trending in Communication

1 How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them 2 Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again 3 12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life 4 13 Ways Happy People Think and Feel Differently 5 How to Find Inner Peace and Lasting Happiness

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

Advertising

1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

Advertising

“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

Advertising

3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

Advertising

6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

More on Motivation

Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

Read Next