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Dating Isn’t Just About Having Fun, But Knowing Your Love Deeply

Dating Isn’t Just About Having Fun, But Knowing Your Love Deeply

Whichever way you look at it, dating can either be seen as a necessary chore to find the love of our lives, or a fun way to explore new potential relationships. But it can be hard for many to see dating as a casual act – being free to see where it’ll take the two of you and being open to it working out or not.

Those that throw their hearts into dating from the beginning shouldn’t feel ashamed of doing so. It shows your ability to love deeply, be vulnerable and see ahead to the possibilities of a budding path to love.

Dating Simply For Fun Will Get You Nowhere

Dating is usually synonymous with being casual, light and fun. While this is perfectly fine for lots of people, many of us secretly want and hope that this time it’ll work out but are just ashamed to admit it.

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Dating can mean small talk over dinners where we skirt and avoid talking about deeper issues, feelings and emotions. It can feel false and awkward at the best of times but we do this in order not to scare each other off.

It’s been turned into a process especially with the introduction of dating apps that seem to treat people as an item in a catalogue – there’ll always be someone else lined up waiting to meet up if you don’t like this one.

The purposeless of dating can be fun but for those that crave direction, it can feel just the opposite and this is why dating should get back to being more about knowing each other deeply.

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Love Is About Growing, Not Standing Still

When dating is just seen as a bit of fun, there’s the danger of it becoming stagnant. Fun is awesome but you can have fun and find out the deeper side of someone at the same time. Why restrict it?

For those of us that don’t want to just give the odd piece of ourselves in the hope that the other person will suddenly see our true potential and inner greatness, we shouldn’t feel ashamed of wanting a bit more.

Getting to know someone we like is just the beginnings of love. Granted it might not grow into something but the important thing is that it is allowed to grow and not stand still in the name of casual dating. Casual is, in essence, keeping two people from falling in love.

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Being Vulnerable Enables Deeper Understanding

If you’re a true romantic and can’t help that your heart runs away with you, don’t be afraid to show your true feelings and intentions. Being vulnerable is something we love in other people, but find it so difficult to do ourselves.

Vulnerability is a strength and it’s this state of being that allows us to open up and let others in. This can’t be ignored in dating. The casual aspect of dating is only covering up and stopping any vulnerability from seeping in but this is exactly what we need to get close, bond and fall in love with someone.

Whether we admit it or not, we’re all searching for love. But if casual isn’t your thing, don’t be afraid to speak up. It’ll help you find that love much quicker.

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There’s nothing wrong with finding the half-heartedness, moving from one person to the next one or refusing to be fully committed to a relationship. Different people love for different things in love. But if you’re the one who despises purposeless dating, don’t be afraid to show your true self or go deep to understand your love.

Featured photo credit: Josh Willink via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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