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Dating Isn’t Just About Having Fun, But Knowing Your Love Deeply

Dating Isn’t Just About Having Fun, But Knowing Your Love Deeply

Whichever way you look at it, dating can either be seen as a necessary chore to find the love of our lives, or a fun way to explore new potential relationships. But it can be hard for many to see dating as a casual act – being free to see where it’ll take the two of you and being open to it working out or not.

Those that throw their hearts into dating from the beginning shouldn’t feel ashamed of doing so. It shows your ability to love deeply, be vulnerable and see ahead to the possibilities of a budding path to love.

Dating Simply For Fun Will Get You Nowhere

Dating is usually synonymous with being casual, light and fun. While this is perfectly fine for lots of people, many of us secretly want and hope that this time it’ll work out but are just ashamed to admit it.

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Dating can mean small talk over dinners where we skirt and avoid talking about deeper issues, feelings and emotions. It can feel false and awkward at the best of times but we do this in order not to scare each other off.

It’s been turned into a process especially with the introduction of dating apps that seem to treat people as an item in a catalogue – there’ll always be someone else lined up waiting to meet up if you don’t like this one.

The purposeless of dating can be fun but for those that crave direction, it can feel just the opposite and this is why dating should get back to being more about knowing each other deeply.

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Love Is About Growing, Not Standing Still

When dating is just seen as a bit of fun, there’s the danger of it becoming stagnant. Fun is awesome but you can have fun and find out the deeper side of someone at the same time. Why restrict it?

For those of us that don’t want to just give the odd piece of ourselves in the hope that the other person will suddenly see our true potential and inner greatness, we shouldn’t feel ashamed of wanting a bit more.

Getting to know someone we like is just the beginnings of love. Granted it might not grow into something but the important thing is that it is allowed to grow and not stand still in the name of casual dating. Casual is, in essence, keeping two people from falling in love.

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Being Vulnerable Enables Deeper Understanding

If you’re a true romantic and can’t help that your heart runs away with you, don’t be afraid to show your true feelings and intentions. Being vulnerable is something we love in other people, but find it so difficult to do ourselves.

Vulnerability is a strength and it’s this state of being that allows us to open up and let others in. This can’t be ignored in dating. The casual aspect of dating is only covering up and stopping any vulnerability from seeping in but this is exactly what we need to get close, bond and fall in love with someone.

Whether we admit it or not, we’re all searching for love. But if casual isn’t your thing, don’t be afraid to speak up. It’ll help you find that love much quicker.

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There’s nothing wrong with finding the half-heartedness, moving from one person to the next one or refusing to be fully committed to a relationship. Different people love for different things in love. But if you’re the one who despises purposeless dating, don’t be afraid to show your true self or go deep to understand your love.

Featured photo credit: Josh Willink via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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