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A Question That Can Predict If A Relationship Will Last Or Not (With Over 90% Accuracy)

A Question That Can Predict If A Relationship Will Last Or Not (With Over 90% Accuracy)

Have you ever looked at your significant other and wondered, “Is this really the one?” or “Will this relationship actually last?” It’s a common question and there’s no sure-fire way to predict the outcome. It can drive you a little crazy at times.So, how do you figure it out? There’s a simple question you can ask yourself, and it may tell you what you need to know: “What is the story of our relationship?”

When you think about your relationship, imagine yourself telling it as a story. Do you focus on the positive or negative parts of your time together?

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According to John Mordechai Gottman, PhD, the author of Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love, “Our best prediction of the future of a relationship came from a couple’s ‘story of us.’ It’s an ever-changing final appraisal of the relationship and your partner’s character.”When you focus on the negative aspects of your relationship, you create resentment. Letting things get, and stay, under your skin is an indicator that the relationship isn’t going to last. More than 90% of the time, the people who focused on the bad parts ended up splitting up. If the first things that come to mind are events or everyday issues that annoy you, it could be time to reassess your relationship.

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Thankfully, there are ways to change your thinking and focus on the positive.

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  • Open Communication: Talk to your partner about the things you’re still upset about. It could be something from a long time ago, but it can breed resentment. Getting them out into the open can help.
  • Let it Go: Once you’ve talked things out and feel better about them, it’s easier to let them go. Focus on that process.
  • Think About the Positive: What have been the best times in your relationship? What are the little things your partner does that are special? Those are the important things.
  • Practice Gratitude: Be thankful for your partner and the positive qualities they possess. Remember, there’s a reason you’re with them and a reason you fell in love.

A negative retelling of your story can really predict whether or not your relationship will last. Take action and turn your thoughts to positive ones to create a better and more successful relationship.

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Amy Canady

Writer & Photographer

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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