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A Question That Can Predict If A Relationship Will Last Or Not (With Over 90% Accuracy)

A Question That Can Predict If A Relationship Will Last Or Not (With Over 90% Accuracy)

Have you ever looked at your significant other and wondered, “Is this really the one?” or “Will this relationship actually last?” It’s a common question and there’s no sure-fire way to predict the outcome. It can drive you a little crazy at times.So, how do you figure it out? There’s a simple question you can ask yourself, and it may tell you what you need to know: “What is the story of our relationship?”

When you think about your relationship, imagine yourself telling it as a story. Do you focus on the positive or negative parts of your time together?

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According to John Mordechai Gottman, PhD, the author of Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love, “Our best prediction of the future of a relationship came from a couple’s ‘story of us.’ It’s an ever-changing final appraisal of the relationship and your partner’s character.”When you focus on the negative aspects of your relationship, you create resentment. Letting things get, and stay, under your skin is an indicator that the relationship isn’t going to last. More than 90% of the time, the people who focused on the bad parts ended up splitting up. If the first things that come to mind are events or everyday issues that annoy you, it could be time to reassess your relationship.

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Thankfully, there are ways to change your thinking and focus on the positive.

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  • Open Communication: Talk to your partner about the things you’re still upset about. It could be something from a long time ago, but it can breed resentment. Getting them out into the open can help.
  • Let it Go: Once you’ve talked things out and feel better about them, it’s easier to let them go. Focus on that process.
  • Think About the Positive: What have been the best times in your relationship? What are the little things your partner does that are special? Those are the important things.
  • Practice Gratitude: Be thankful for your partner and the positive qualities they possess. Remember, there’s a reason you’re with them and a reason you fell in love.

A negative retelling of your story can really predict whether or not your relationship will last. Take action and turn your thoughts to positive ones to create a better and more successful relationship.

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Amy Canady

Writer & Photographer

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Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

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It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

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3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

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Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

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6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

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