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A Question That Can Predict If A Relationship Will Last Or Not (With Over 90% Accuracy)

A Question That Can Predict If A Relationship Will Last Or Not (With Over 90% Accuracy)

Have you ever looked at your significant other and wondered, “Is this really the one?” or “Will this relationship actually last?” It’s a common question and there’s no sure-fire way to predict the outcome. It can drive you a little crazy at times.So, how do you figure it out? There’s a simple question you can ask yourself, and it may tell you what you need to know: “What is the story of our relationship?”

When you think about your relationship, imagine yourself telling it as a story. Do you focus on the positive or negative parts of your time together?

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According to John Mordechai Gottman, PhD, the author of Principia Amoris: The New Science of Love, “Our best prediction of the future of a relationship came from a couple’s ‘story of us.’ It’s an ever-changing final appraisal of the relationship and your partner’s character.”When you focus on the negative aspects of your relationship, you create resentment. Letting things get, and stay, under your skin is an indicator that the relationship isn’t going to last. More than 90% of the time, the people who focused on the bad parts ended up splitting up. If the first things that come to mind are events or everyday issues that annoy you, it could be time to reassess your relationship.

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Thankfully, there are ways to change your thinking and focus on the positive.

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  • Open Communication: Talk to your partner about the things you’re still upset about. It could be something from a long time ago, but it can breed resentment. Getting them out into the open can help.
  • Let it Go: Once you’ve talked things out and feel better about them, it’s easier to let them go. Focus on that process.
  • Think About the Positive: What have been the best times in your relationship? What are the little things your partner does that are special? Those are the important things.
  • Practice Gratitude: Be thankful for your partner and the positive qualities they possess. Remember, there’s a reason you’re with them and a reason you fell in love.

A negative retelling of your story can really predict whether or not your relationship will last. Take action and turn your thoughts to positive ones to create a better and more successful relationship.

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Amy Canady

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Last Updated on February 18, 2019

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

Why It’s Never Too Late To Redefine Yourself

The ability to reinvent and redefine yourself is a bold, daring and purposeful choice. It doesn’t just happen. You have to make a conscious, intentional choice and then follow through.

If the thought of forging a new path, changing habits, thought patterns and your inner circle of friends scares you – you’re not alone. Change can be a very scary thing. It takes courage, fortitude and a bit of faith to decide to shed your old self and don a new persona. However, it is one of the most critical processes one must repeatedly endure in the pursuit of destiny. Change unlocks new levels of potential.

The Need for Change

Everyday when we wake up, we make a decision. We decide to follow our routine or we decide to go off script and shake things up a bit. For those who are creatures of habit, routine is comfortable, easy and produces very little stress. The problem with this is, after a while you stop growing.

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We all reinvent ourselves at some point in our lives. It is absolutely necessary to achieve certain levels of success.

Reflect back on who you were as a teenager and then who you were at 25. Those are two very different people. Most of us are completely different. Your thought patterns changed, your appearance, job, level of education and even your friends– changed. We like to refer to this as “growing up” or maturing and consider it to be one of life’s natural progressions. However the changes you made were purposeful and deliberate.

This process must be a lifelong and continuous cycle. You are never too old to refresh yourself.

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Happy_old_man

    Signs It’s Time to Redefine

    “Just as established products and brands need updating to stay alive and vibrant, you periodically need to refresh or reinvent yourself.”– Mireille Guiliano

    So how do you know when it’s time for a system upgrade? There are signs along the way that alert you that it is time for an overhaul. The first sign is the feeling of being stuck. If you feel like you are in a rut, you’re bored with life or you need some newness and excitement, a self reinvention may be in order. Re-evaluate your life vision and your goals. Is that vision still valid and are your goals consistent with your vision and–are they achievable? If you are off course, it’s time for a change. If you are not moving forward and making progress, it’s time for a change.

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    In life, there’s no such thing as neutrality–you’re either moving forward or you are moving backward. Time constantly moves forward and if you are standing still, you are actually losing ground. No matter your age or stage in life– there is always room for improvement.

    “You’re never too old to set another goal or dream a new dream.” ~C. S. Lewis

    The second sign that you are due for a change is the occurrence of major life events in which change is forced upon you. Getting married, starting a new job, being promoted, ending a relationship, becoming a parenting or relocating are all prime opportunities to completely overhaul your life.

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    When these major shifts occur in your life–you have to shift with them. You can’t have a single mentality and have a successful marriage. You can’t remain selfish and irresponsible, and raise a healthy, well-adjusted child. You can’t be promoted to a supervisory position and keep the same subordinate attitude. Each level of success requires something different from you.

    Aronld in Predator

      Consider, for a moment, Arnold Schwarzenegger. People may have different opinions about his character and some of his life choices, but he is a master at reinventing himself. He achieved the ultimate success as a professional body builder by earning the title “Mr. Universe” three times. He then earned a tremendous amount of fame and fortune in the entertainment industry making action/adventure films. And in his latest role, he served two terms as the Governor of California. He succeeded as a professional body builder, a film star and a politician. Each role required massive amounts of change, commitment, strength and hard work.

      And if Arnold can do it…so can you!

      Featured photo credit: BK via flickr.com

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