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Stop Searching For “The One.” He/She Would Never Exist If You Only Focus On What You Can Get

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Stop Searching For “The One.” He/She Would Never Exist If You Only Focus On What You Can Get

Searching for “The One?” What if I told you that “The One” doesn’t exist? What would you say if I told you that you were missing out on perfectly compatible partnership while blindly searching for your one, true love?As it turns out, love is more roulette than blackjack. In blackjack, you’re looking for that perfect number 21, but in roulette, you’re always guessing. Put your chip on 16 red and you might just win it all!So how is love more like roulette than blackjack, and how does mean you should stop searching for “The One?”[1]

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“The One” is created over time by slowly undressing who they are, not what they should be.

If you’re chasing a dream about what your one true love should be, you may be shutting yourself off from potential relationships. Your expectations about a perfect partner puts a huge amount of pressure on both yourself and your future lover. Your expectations of what they should be prevent you from seeing who they really are.

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Maybe we should stop searching for what we will get in a relationship, and instead focus on what we can give. What kind of person are you? What do you offer in the relationship? How can you celebrate in your happiness and invite someone else to join in?

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If you’re still dreaming of the perfect partner that you made up at age five, then stop. You will find yourself (and your partner) much happier if you connect through values and hobbies instead of just adjective-style ideals.

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I’m not saying to let go of your standards, or to fall blindly for someone who doesn’t share your values. I’m just saying maybe we spin the wheel of roulette and see what happens with someone who isn’t a perfect 21 blackjack.

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Featured photo credit: Realworkhard/Pixabay via pixabay.com

Reference

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Lindsay Mattison

Chef and Cookbook Writer

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