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Having Trouble With Your Kid? You Two Might Speak Different Love Languages

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Having Trouble With Your Kid? You Two Might Speak Different Love Languages

You go to hug your kid and they shrug you off and walk away. You know there must be love somewhere in there—so why do they act so cold?

Having trouble figuring out your child? Feel like they’re playing soccer and you’re still at t-ball? You may actually be speaking two different languages – two different sets of love languages.

According to Dr. Gary Chapman, there are 5 different languages of love[1]. They are:

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Words of affirmation

Acts of service

Receiving gifts

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Quality time

Physical touch

For some kids, nothing makes them happier than hugs and kisses. They enjoy touch. Give them frequent hugs, affectionate squeezes on the arm and pecks on the cheek. They will feel loved.

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Some kids, however, prefer you to say it out loud. Words of affirmations, like ‘your hair looks fantastic’ or ‘you are such a cool kid’ will brighten their day. They prefer audible affection.

Sometimes kids want more proof of your love. They like it when you do things for them— random acts of kindness. You can help them with their homework, make their favorite lunch for school, take them out for a one-on-one treat.

Gifts and tangible proof of love work for some kids too. But don’t feel compelled to break the bank. A rock or seashell that caught your eye, a flower you picked will do, with a: “I saw this and thought of you.” Meaningful little presents move them to feel more connected with you.

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Undivided attention is important for kids and some of them require even more. These kids want you and your time—quality time, so put down that phone and focus solely on them to make them feel loved. Color together, go for a walk and talk. Teach them to ride a bike. Every moment with you is precious to them.

The problem is, when your dominant love language is acts of service, while you kid’s one is words of affirmation…So as you do a lot for him hoping that he is well taken care of and would feel loved, he just wonders why you can’t simply praise him once in a while. Both of you do love each other and want to feel loved, but the ways you express it are different.

To fix this, first you need to check if your dominant love languages are different from your kid’s ones. There’s a free online test that only takes around 15 minutes. Then you can adjust accordingly and you’ll find that things are not that hard as imagined!

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Reference

[1] The 5 Love Languages: Discover Your Love Language

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Sally White

writer, artist & blogger

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Last Updated on January 5, 2022

How to Help Your Child to Get Better Grades

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How to Help Your Child to Get Better Grades

Children are most likely to say that they want to just lounge around or rest for a while after spending hours listening to lecture after lecture from their teachers. There is nothing wrong with this if they had a rough day.

What’s disturbing, is if they deliberately stay away from schoolwork or procrastinate when it comes to reviewing for their tests or completing an important science project.

When it seems that it is becoming a habit for your child to put off school work, it’s time for you to step in and help your child develop good study habits to get better grades. It is important for you to emphasize to your child the importance of setting priorities early in life. Don’t wait for them to flunk their tests, or worse, fail in their subjects before you talk to them about it.

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You can help your children hurdle their tests with these 7 tips:

1. Help them set targets

Ask your child what they want to achieve for that particular school year. Tell them to set a specific goal or target. If they say, “I want to get better grades,” tell them to be more specific. It will be better if they say they want to get a GPA of 2.5 or higher. Having a definite target will make it easier for them to undertake a series of actions to achieve their goals, instead of just “shooting for the moon.”

2. Preparation is key

At the start of the school year, teachers provide an outline of a subject’s scope along with a reading list and other course requirements. Make sure that your child has all the materials they need for these course requirements. Having these materials on hand will make sure that your child will have no reason to procrastinate and give them the opportunity to study in advance.

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3. Teach them to mark important dates

You may opt to give them a small notebook where they can jot down important dates or a planner that has dates where they can list their schedule. Ask them to show this to you so you can give them “gentle reminders” to block off the whole week before the dates of an exam. During this week, advise your child to not schedule any social activity so they can concentrate on studying.

4. Schedule regular study time

Encourage your child to set aside at least two hours every day to go through their lessons. This will help them remember the lectures for the day and understand the concepts they were taught. They should be encouraged to spend more time on subjects or concepts that they do not understand.

5. Get help

Some kids find it hard to digest or absorb mathematical or scientific concepts. Ask your child if they are having difficulties with their subjects and if they would like to seek the help of a tutor. There is nothing wrong in asking for the assistance of a tutor who can explain complex subjects.

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6. Schedule some “downtime”

Your child needs to relax from time to time. During his break, you can consider bringing your child to the nearest mall or grocery store and get them a treat. You may play board games with them during their downtime. The idea is to take his mind off studying for a limited period of time.

7. Reward your child

If your child achieves their goals for the school year, you may give them a reward such as buying them the gadget they have always wanted or allowing them to vacation wherever they want. By doing this, you are telling your child that hard work does pay off.

Conclusion

You need to take the time to monitor your child’s performance in school. Your guidance is essential to helping your child realize the need to prioritize their school activities. As a parent, your ultimate goal is to expose your child to habits that will lay down the groundwork for their future success.

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Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

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