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Your Birth Order Determines Your Personality? This Interesting Theory Explains How

Your Birth Order Determines Your Personality? This Interesting Theory Explains How

Your older sibling takes on the role of your parents too often, or your friend, who is an only child thinks the world revolves around them? Why is it that certain personality traits are explained by the birth order? The theory is traced back to the 1920’s when Alfred Adler introduced a theory of birth order determining ones personality.[1] There are five categories of birth order that affect how the person is viewing love, friendship and work.

Firstborn Children: The Leaders

Firstborn children tend to adopt the traits of a powerful leader and have the urge to help and protect others. Once their younger siblings are born, firstborns tend to copy the parents’ behavior and can get over-protective of their siblings. The care they learn to provide to their siblings makes them become great parents to their own children.

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They have a great amount of self-esteem since they were the first object of their parents’ undivided attention and greatest love. Jealousy comes once this love and attention has to be shared with another child or other children. Firstborn children also tend to be conservative, aggressive, ambitious, anxious, responsible and competitive.

Middleborn Children: The Mediators

Middle born children often tend to lack the attention reserved for the first and the lastborn. Feeling that they always need to fight for the attention of their parents, middle children develop ambition early on and even though this sometimes means setting too high goals and failing many times, they most often end up being successful entrepreneurs.

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Additionally, they are extremely passionate about fighting injustice and developing strong friendships outside the family. They are natural mediators that tend to avoid confrontation. Due to a lack of attention in the family, most often a middle child has a more difficult time finding their way and feeling insecure and lost. On the other hand, those struggles eventually turn them into compassionate and strong people.

Youngest Children: The Entertainers

Being the “babies” of the family, it seems that the youngest children get all the love and attention from parents and siblings alike. This leads to them developing a great sense of self-worth and drive to achieve their goals and dreams. With all eyes on them from early on, youngest children become the entertainers of the family. They are also outgoing and sociable and usually have many close friends.

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Over-protectiveness in the family can result in difficulties in the adult life of the youngest child. They can become irresponsible, dependent, selfish and manipulative.

Only Children

Without any siblings to compete with, the only children often compete with their fathers. The only child usually gets too much attention which results in them being spoiled, mostly by mothers. They tend to be self-centered and self-reliant since they learn to depend upon themselves from early on. They either develop traits of the first or the lastborn child. They may be great socialites or perfectly content loners. Only children tend to be goal-oriented perfectionists which can make them misunderstood by peers.

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Twins

When it comes to twins, one of them usually takes the dominant role of a firstborn. Twins develop closeness greater than other siblings. The closeness helps them be more confident, but it also makes them dependent on the company of others. As they grow up and start their own families, the separation can cause great grief.

If we think about our family and other families around us, most of us would recognize most of the types and personalities in our surroundings. However, even though highly accurate, this theory doesn’t apply to every person since there are many other factors that need to be included, such as the upbringing, the age difference between children, and the total number of siblings.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Live Strong: Adler’s Birth Order Theory

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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