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Want To Sound More Confident? Avoid These 3 Things In Your Conversation

Want To Sound More Confident? Avoid These 3 Things In Your Conversation

Usually when we want to be more confident, we’re told to do this and that. Instead of adding, what about getting rid of some of our habits? We have learned these habits as children. And often we learned them by watching our elders engaging in conversation. Polite conversation is probably one of the worst things we learned because it teaches that our opinions and knowledge are not valued when we assert them.

Below are 3 things people often use in conversations that largely decrease their persuasive power. Remember less is more. When you can cut these 3 kinds of language from your conversation, you’ll instantly become sound more confident and convincing.

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1. Hedges Are a No-No

Hedges are defined as vague language and are often considered to be “polite” conversation. It allows you to engage without asserting yourself. Some examples are:

  • Possibly
  • Maybe
  • Might
  • Seems

These words imply that you are unbiased or avoiding persuading anyone to agree. While that could be okay in some situations, for the most part, you really need to avoid those words and use powerful words instead that portray your authority. Examples are:

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  • Definitely
  • Clearly
  • Surely
  • Plainly

By using the above words, you assert that you know plenty about the subject at hand and wish to persuade another with your knowledge.

2. Avoid Disclaimers

In legal terms, disclaimer statements are to prevent any incorrect understanding of a subject. People are more likely to use this type of language when they question their own confidence in their knowledge. Often, we are more knowledgeable than we realize and relegate to unconfident language.  Some examples of disclaimers are:

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  • “I am not completely sure, but….”
  • “I am not an authority on the subject, but….”
  • “It could go either way, but…”

One common theme you see is the use of hedges and negative language to relegate the speaker into an unconfident realm. The other common denominator is the use of the word “but” after the use of negative and/or hedge language. This can become a bad habit and it’s best to practice changing it. When you find yourself about to use the disclaimer language, try one of these:

  • “I am certain that…..”
  • “I recently learned…..”
  • “It will go [insert opinion]…..”

3. Stay Away from Tagging

Tag questions are just one more habit many of us have when we are engaged in conversation. Here are a few examples of tag questions:

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  • “… don’t you agree?”
  • “… don’t you think?”
  • “… right?”
  • “… wouldn’t it?”

The biggest concern with tag questions is that they convey us as seeking validation for our opinion. However, highly confident speakers do not seek out validation to their points. The best way to combat the use of tag questions is to avoid using any question for validation at the end of your statement. If you pose a question, it should be nothing more than “Any questions?”.

Remember again, less is more.

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Angela Kunschmann

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on February 13, 2019

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again.

Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness, then check out these 10 things happy people do differently.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

1. Happy people find balance in their lives.

Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

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2. Happy people abide by the golden rule.

You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

3. Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

4. Happy people take responsibility for their actions.

Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:

“There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

5. Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.

happiness surrounding

    One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

    6. Happy people are honest with themselves and others.

    People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

    7. Happy people show signs of happiness.

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    smile

      This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

      8. Happy people are passionate.

      Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

      9. Happy people see challenges as opportunities.

      Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

      10. Happy people live in the present.

      While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

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      There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.

      So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.

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