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How to Handle High-Tension Situations and Tough Conversations

How to Handle High-Tension Situations and Tough Conversations

Last week, a friend of mine reached out to me to provide him with professional feedback. I had worked with him a few months prior, and he wanted my real, honest feedback- of which I had plenty.

Feedback is always a tough thing to go through for everyone involved, but this was going to be a new level of uncomfortable, since I needed to provide feedback to my friend.

High-tension situations are almost unavoidable. It’s crucial to approach these situations in the right way in order to get exactly what it is you want.

Think about the last time you were in a high-tension situation. How were people acting? How were you acting?

It’s likely that there were people who were staying quiet and avoiding the conflict and also people who were getting heated and obviously frustrated.

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Not talking things out will most likely cause you to act them out. This can be very, very bad for your career (or even your personal life)! There are two ends to the communication spectrum: silence and violence.

Neither end is productive or beneficial.

Avoiding conversations by being silent won’t allow you to express your thoughts, ideas, or feelings. At the same time, arguing to the point that you get violent is also not effective.

I couldn’t ignore my friend’s request, as he was definitely in need of feedback, but I needed to proceed with tact.

The goal is to find a middle ground- somewhere in between- where you’re expressing your thoughts and feelings, but in a productive, non-violent manner. Middle ground exists in the form of dialogue- talking things out in a productive manner to work toward achieving the desired outcome.

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Sounds easy enough, right?

Not quite.

We are often in situations that are out of our control, and we naturally go toward one end of a spectrum. As humans, our natural response to stressful situations is either fight or flight. It’s a natural reaction, and it’s hard to truly avoid having these reactions, and so our communication naturally shuts down.

What you can control, however, is how you respond to these natural reactions.

But how?

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Prepare yourself.

When you know that you are going to be having a tough conversation with someone, you must prepare yourself. When tensions get high, the conversation can immediately take a turn for the worse.

But, if you prepare yourself before going into a high-tension conversation, you greatly improve your chances of having the conversation turn out how you want it to.

    How do you prepare for a critical conversation?

    You must know the outcome you want. At work, this could be things like: a salary raise, the ability to work from home one day a week, more management experience, etc.

    In your personal life, maybe it’s getting your significant other to help you with dinner on Mondays and Wednesdays.

    Whatever the situation is, know exactly what it is that you want from the conversation. It’s crucial to keep this at the forefront of your mind for the entire conversation so you don’t unnecessarily stray toward being silent or violent.

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    Another step in preparing yourself is to know what you want to say. Don’t go into a high-tension conversation or situation without knowing what it is you want to say. When we are unprepared to talk, we often start off by blabbing out the first thing that pops into our heads, and this can make the situation worse. Or, we don’t say anything at all.

    If you know what you want to say, you’re less likely to start the conversation off on the wrong foot. Treat this just like any other high-stakes situation. Think about it- professional athletes don’t go out on the field without practicing their playbook for days or weeks before a game.

    So, I needed to practice what I wanted to say to my friend, so I:

    1. Wrote out exactly what I wanted to say
    2. Practiced reading out loud by myself
    3. Simulated the conversation with a colleague at work

    As I practiced, I tried to look at what I wrote as little as possible. Practicing like this made my actual conversation that much easier.

    Prepare yourself and what it is that you want to say, and you’ll be able to influence the direction of the conversation, making it that much easier and more likely for you to achieve the outcome you want. Finding middle ground in a critical conversation isn’t easy, but by preparing yourself ahead of time, you’re bound to make the conversation easier on yourself and significantly improve your chances of success.

    What are ways you try to keep dialogue flowing during conversations? Let me know in the comments below.

    More by this author

    Dominic DeMartini

    Founder of DrivenProfessional, helping professionals improve leadership and social skills.

    How to Handle High-Tension Situations and Tough Conversations 9 Things Confident People Do

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    Last Updated on September 25, 2019

    15 Brain Foods to Eat Regularly for a Sharper Brain

    15 Brain Foods to Eat Regularly for a Sharper Brain

    These days, there are so many food choices. Every marketing trick is used to make you buy brain foods, all-natural, fat-free or gluten-free products.

    Could you blame them? They need to make a profit to keep existing and delivering their goods to the consumers.

    But does this mean that foods with these labels are just regular products or do brain foods really exist?

    That’s when research came in and proved that brain foods (meaning: foods that have a positive effect on the brain) really do exist.

    In this article, you will find 15 brain foods you should be eating to keep your mind sharp.

    1. Blueberries

    One of the greatest gifts of Mother Nature — blueberries. Blueberries are known as the king of antioxidants[1] and are used to detox the body.

    There are not a lot of studies that tried to prove the relationship between blueberries and the improvement of brain function. But there’s one study that consisted of 9 elderly people. They found that consuming blueberry juice on a daily basis for 12 weeks improved memory function.[2]

    If this is not reasonable enough to include blueberries into your diet, you should read the following article on other benefits of blueberries: 10 Benefits of Blueberries That Will Impress You

    As with every single one of the brain foods listed here: Consuming more than necessary can also lead to side effects, this is the same with blueberries.[3]

    When including blueberries in your diet along with other brain foods; make sure to eat no more than 0.5 cups (4 oz./113 grams) a day.

    2. Broccoli

    The first vegetable on the list, broccoli. Whatever you do with it; roast, steam, blanch or saute.[4] It will still improve the sharpness of your brain.

    There are two main nutrients in broccoli that makes it one of the brain foods on this list. Vitamin K, which is also found in lower amounts in blueberries, helps strengthen cognitive abilities.[5] The nutrient Choline improves your memory.[6]

    There’s six times more vitamin K in broccoli than in blueberries. The downside is that blueberries are a bit tastier.

    Include some broccoli with every warm plate you eat in a day, and your brain will turn into a SUPER brain.

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    3. Walnuts

    Walnuts are the best choice of all the nuts when it comes to improving cognitive function. They have the same benefits as every other nut, but walnuts also contain omega-3 fatty acids.[7]

    Beside the improvement of heart health,[8] walnuts also provide a sharper memory (at least to women).[9]

    Consuming walnuts also help slow mental decline[10] because of the Vitamin E that is found in walnuts.[11]

    Next time you crave a snack, buy a bag of unroasted and unsalted walnuts. In the future, this will be the replacement of all unhealthy snacks like Twix.

    Brain foods are not brain foods because they contain a lot of sugar. Brain foods usually consist of a high amount of vitamins and antioxidants. That’s how you can recognize them.

    4. Green Tea

    Some of us are coffee drinkers while others prefer tea. You don’t have to choose one or the other because both of them made it to the list (you’ll read later about coffee in number 11 of brain foods).

    Green tea contains more than just caffeine; it contains L-theanine which essentially lowers the anxiety levels.[12] It also increases the levels of dopamine and alpha wave production (relaxation).

    The lower levels of caffeine in green tea compared to coffee makes this a perfect brain function drink. Caffeine and L-theanine show synergistic effects that work best with the amount of caffeine found in green tea.[13]

    People who drink green tea have proven that they have a more stable energy level and increased productivity compared to when they drink coffee. So, if you’re looking for brain foods that will enhance your productivity; green tea is the way to go.

    5. Oranges

    Orange has a high amount of Vitamin C in it. One large orange is enough to fulfill 100% of your daily Vitamin C intake. Vitamin C has a lot of benefits:

    • Vitamin C reduces the risk of chronic diseases like heart disease[14]
    • It may help fight against high blood pressure[15]
    • Vitamin C boosts immunity by increasing the production of white blood cells[16]
    • The most important of all: high levels of Vitamin C are found to be related to the improvement of memory and thinking. People suffering from dementia has been shown to have low levels of Vitamin C.[17] This may mean that by consuming enough Vitamin C, you will be able to prevent dementia.[18]

    To learn more about everything related to Vitamin C, read the following article: All You Need To Know About Vitamin C Benefits (and Recipes To Boost Your Daily Intake)

    6. Avocados

    Avocados fit very nicely in your salad, or you may even like it on toast.

    Avocado is a source of healthy fats; monounsaturated fat. Monounsaturated fat is believed to contribute to healthy blood flow which in turn means a healthy brain.[19]

    Besides that, avocados also lower blood pressure which will prevent a decrease in cognitive abilities.[20]

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    Adding 1/4 or 1/2 avocado daily should do the trick and help your brain function as a superhero.

    If you need practical ways to include avocado in your daily diet, check this out: 50+ Super Easy Avocado Recipes At Home Now

    7. Coconut Oil

    Coconut oil is a multi-functional oil; some bathe in it, some put it all over their skin, and it’s also used for cooking. To get the following benefits out of it; you should consume it orally (but that’s up to you of course).

    When it comes down to improved brain function; coconut oil has proven to boost brain function in Alzheimer’s patients.[21] Although it isn’t shown to work on people without Alzheimer’s; it can never hurt.

    Besides that, there are many more benefits to coconut oil.

    8. Spinach

    One research found that when elderly consumed one (or two) daily serving of spinach (or other leafy greens for that matter) for an average of 5 years had the same cognitive abilities as someone 11 years younger who never consumed leafy greens.[22]

    This all is thanks to Vitamin K that is found in leafy greens like spinach, kale, collards and mustard greens.

    Popeye looks impressive from the outside, and you will look impressive from the inside once you consume your daily spinach: 6 Mouth-Watering Spinach Recipes You Should Not Miss

    9. Oatmeal

    Known for its use as breakfast, oatmeal is one of many kinds of cereal that contains more than just sugar.

    There’s a reason why oatmeal is often used as breakfast. It is because of the many carbohydrates that are in it which act like a shot of glucose that spikes your blood sugar levels.

    Glucose is sent immediately to the brain to help it function. In essence, this means that the higher the concentration of glucose in your blood, the better you can focus and remember things.[23]

    If you suffer from low blood sugar levels in the morning and can’t function without having a big breakfast immediately upon waking, oatmeal is going to be your best friend.

    10. Raisins

    Children often consume them as healthy snacks because it’s sweet. But did you know raisins promote brain function?

    Raisins are the number one source of boron of all brain foods. The research found that the level of boron is related to hand-eye coordination and short-term memory.[24] Increased levels of boron improves both.

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    Besides that, raisins also heal wounds faster and prevent deficiency in Vitamin D.

    11. Coffee

    We touched on the benefits of green tea earlier, but that doesn’t mean coffee can’t serve its purpose to brain function as well. If you prefer coffee over tea; listen (actually read) closely.

    There’s something about coffee that most people don’t even know. The point is that most of us consume more antioxidants through coffee than any other of the mentioned brain foods.

    This is not because there are more antioxidants in coffee; it’s because coffee is consumed the most of all brain foods.

    These antioxidants protect your brain from cell death which in turn protects you from dementia and related diseases.[25]

    Not to mention that caffeine may also prevent dementia and Alzheimer’s.[26][27]

    You don’t have to give up your coffee; except for all the sugar and milk you put in it. Drink your coffee black and keep it to a maximum of 3 per day and you should be okay.

    12. Almonds

    Earlier we touched upon walnuts, but most nuts are generally good for your health (as long as you don’t overdo it).

    Almonds are most known for their potential of enhancing memory and delaying Alzheimer’s progression.[28][29] Of course, they share the same benefits with the walnuts, but almonds are lower in omega 3 fats.

    If you forget things on a daily basis, maybe a handful of almonds per day can help you.

    Five to six almonds a day should do the trick. If you’re not watching your weight, you can just grab a handful. But don’t overdo it because there’s a lot of fats in nuts.

    Here’re more benefits of almonds you should know: 10 Benefits of Almonds That Will Surprise You (+Healthy Recipes)

    13. Lentils

    Lentils for the vegans among you is one of the best sources of protein among legumes. Besides that, it is a rich source of various essential nutrients like iron, Vitamin B6, and folate (Vitamin B9).

    Besides the fact that they make a terrific combination with rice; lentils also serves its purpose in the brain. All the essential nutrients improve brain function in their own way:

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    • Folate (Vitamin B9) keeps your mind sharp while you get older.[30]
    • Iron plays an essential role in cognitive functioning with pregnant women.[31]
    • Zinc is well known for boosting memory.[32]
    • Vitamin B6 and thiamine give you more energy and focus.[33][34]

    As you can see; lentils make up one of the best brain foods on this list. But this also depends on your preference as some of you might’ve never even eaten lentils.

    14. Strawberries

    Most berries and other related fruits like strawberries (which are technically seen not berries) are all known to have beneficial effects on the brain.[35] They help prevent age-related memory loss and may even slow the progress of Alzheimer’s.[36]

    Another thing that is more strawberry related is the amount of potassium in it. Potassium is related to increased blood flow thus improved cognitive function.[37]

    Eight strawberries per day should do the trick and give you many benefits besides these brain-enhancing benefits: 10 Amazing Benefits of Strawberries that You Probably Never Knew

    15. Red Wine

    Last but not least, red wine. Although alcohol itself is not related to any improvement in brain functioning; some studies show that there are benefits to drinking lightly or moderately.

    Out of all the alcoholic beverages, red wine is the one with the most favorable results. Research shows that red wine may even slow aging[38] and it can also decrease the risk of dementia.[39]

    Although these results are based on research, the researchers don’t recommend that any non-drinkers start drinking. Especially younger people shouldn’t aim to drink red wine as the most benefits (or no increased risks) are found in the elderly.

    If you think about drinking red wine, you should drink maximum 1 glass of red wine per day as a woman and maximum of 2 glasses of red wine per day for men. One glass of red wine should contain 175ml, don’t overdo it.

    Keep in mind that there are also potential risks to drinking alcohol. Such risks include addition, depression and weight gain when you’re not drinking carefully.

    Conclusion

    “You are what you eat.”

    One of the oldest sayings ever expresses all you need to know.

    Every food on this brain foods list is put on this list because it enhances brain functioning in some way. So, whichever food on this list you choose to eat after reading this article doesn’t matter.

    What matters most is that you read everything closely and choose one of the brain foods that fit your goal the most.

    Enjoy eating your next brain food!

    More About Boosting Brain Power

    Featured photo credit: Melissa Belanger via unsplash.com

    Reference

    [1] Wild Blueberries: Wild Blueberries Antioxidants
    [2] NCBI: Blueberry Supplementation Improves Memory in Older Adults
    [3] Good Health All: 8 Major Side Effects OF Eating Too Many Blueberries
    [4] Skinny Ms: How to Make Broccoli Taste Good, Each and Every Time
    [5] Wellness Resources: Vitamin K Enhances Cognitive Function During Aging
    [6] The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition: The relation of dietary choline to cognitive performance and white-matter hyperintensity in the Framingham Offspring Cohort
    [7] The Journal Of Nutrition: Role of Walnuts in Maintaining Brain Health with Age
    [8] NCBI: Cardiovascular risk factors and cognitive function.
    [9] NCBI: LONG-TERM INTAKE OF NUTS IN RELATION TO COGNITIVE FUNCTION IN OLDER WOMEN
    [10] NCBI: Vitamin E and cognitive decline in older persons.
    [11] NCBI: Vitamin E-gene interactions in aging and inflammatory age-related diseases: implications for treatment. A systematic review.
    [12] NCBI: The neuropharmacology of L-theanine(N-ethyl-L-glutamine): a possible neuroprotective and cognitive enhancing agent.
    [13] NCBI: L-theanine and caffeine in combination affect human cognition as evidenced by oscillatory alpha-band activity and attention task performance.
    [14] NCBI: Effect of five-year supplementation of vitamin C on serum vitamin C concentration and consumption of vegetables and fruits in middle-aged Japanese: a randomized controlled trial.
    [15] NCBI: Effects of vitamin C supplementation on blood pressure: a meta-analysis of randomized controlled trials.
    [16] NCBI: Association between nutritional status and cognitive functioning in a healthy elderly population.
    [17] NCBI: Dietary antioxidants and dementia in a population-based case-control study among older people in South Germany.
    [18] National Institute of Health: Vitamin C
    [19] JOURNAL OF NEUROCHEMISTRY: Dietary intake of unsaturated fatty acids modulates physiological properties of entorhinal cortex neurons in mice
    [20] National Institute on Aging: High blood pressure is linked to cognitive decline
    [21] NCBI: Effects of beta-hydroxybutyrate on cognition in memory-impaired adults.
    [22] News Wise: Eating Green Leafy Vegetables Keeps Mental Abilities Sharp
    [23] PNAS: Stoichiometric coupling of brain glucose metabolism and glutamatergic neuronal activity
    [24] NCBI: Nothing Boring About Boron
    [25] NCBI: Neuroprotection and antioxidants
    [26] NCBI: High Blood caffeine levels in MCI linked to lack of progression to dementia.
    [27] NCBI: Hypoxia/reoxygenation impairs memory formation via adenosine-dependent activation of caspase 1.
    [28] Science Direct: Repeated administration of almonds increases brain acetylcholine levels and enhances memory function in healthy rats while attenuates memory deficits in animal model of amnesia
    [29] Science Direct: Almond, hazelnut and walnut, three nuts for neuroprotection in Alzheimer’s disease: A neuropharmacological review of their bioactive constituents
    [30] NCBI: Folic acid, ageing, depression, and dementia
    [31] The American Journal of Clinical Nutrition: Iron treatment normalizes cognitive functioning in young women
    [32] ResearchGate: A potential medicinal importance of zinc in human health and chronic disease
    [33] ORA: Vitamin B6 for cognition
    [34] Springer Link: Thiamine supplementation mood and cognitive functioning
    [35] J. Agric. Food Chem: Berry Fruit Enhances Beneficial Signaling in the Brain
    [36] NCBI: Dietary intake of berries and flavonoids in relation to cognitive decline
    [37] Science Direct: Potassium 2-(1-hydroxypentyl)-benzoate improves learning and memory deficits in chronic cerebral hypoperfused rats
    [38] NY Times: New Hints Seen That Red Wine May Slow Aging
    [39] NCBI: Moderate alcohol consumption and cognitive risk.

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