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5 Ways to Put Together an Event Without Stress

5 Ways to Put Together an Event Without Stress

We’ve all had important events that have required a lot of our time and energy to put together. Events like weddings, graduation parties, and birthdays often need planning, thought, and can be incredibly time consuming.

Fortunately, there are some ways you can plan an event without tearing your hair out. In fact, putting together these events can be quite fun when you have the tools in order to help your event run smoothly.

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Here are five ways you can make your event run smoothly and efficiently.

1. Plan far in advance

Oftentimes, the most stressful events are usually the ones that are planned at the last minute. If you know that you have an event coming up (such as a wedding or a birthday), and you plan for it ahead of time, you are less likely to find yourself running around at the last moment trying to get every detail perfect.

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It might be worth it to sit down and have a planning session or two in order to relieve some of the stress of planning an entire party or event in a short period of time. The longer you have to plan, the more your event will eventually look like how you have imagined.

2. Know where to give yourself a break

While you might have a certain idea of what your event should look like (and more often than not, it looks like it should belong in a magazine), you might not have the budget or the connections to make it happen. Accepting the realities of planning an event, such as using fake flowers instead of real ones, or folding chairs instead of designer-brand chairs, can greatly ease your mind. Likely, you will still have a beautiful event even if it doesn’t match your mental picture.

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3. Don’t invite too many people

One mistake many people make is that they often invite too many guests to their event. Not only does this sometimes create unnecessary chaos, but it also requires extra planning, time, and food for the guests.

Having hundreds of people at a wedding might seem like a good idea initially, but you might want to consider whether it is truly important to your day to have an extra hundred people attend. Not only does it run up the cost, but it can make your event all the more stressful—meaning you’ll be worrying more if there are enough canapés than whether you are having a good time.

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4. Ask for help

There are those who can put together an entire event on his or her own, and there are those who need a little help doing it. More likely than not, if you’re not a professional event planner, then it might be worth it to ask for a little help. Hiring someone to help you, even if it is just for some basic decorations, can take your mind off the little things, and can help you focus on the overall effect of the party. Even asking for a friend’s opinion can help you to feel like you have some control over the situation.

5. Take a deep breath

Remember, part of putting together a successful event is knowing that it won’t go exactly as planned. Being able to take a step back, relax, and enjoy yourself will not only help you feel as though you’ve done a successful job, but it will also help you to enjoy the special day that you have put together.

Part of the fun of an event is accepting the mishaps and mistakes – it makes the day unique. After you’ve completed everything, remember to relax and enjoy the party. You deserve it!

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Alex Schnee

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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