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5 Important Things You Need To Remember If You Want To Make A Remarkable Conversation

5 Important Things You Need To Remember If You Want To Make A Remarkable Conversation

We spend so much of our time trying to make an impression on people. And what they say is clichéd but true, first impressions are usually lasting. So the next time you are striking up a conversation with a stranger you want to befriend or impress, remember these five tips to make sure you leave them with a remarkable conversation and a lastingly positive impression…

1. Be a 100% there when they talk

Most of us may be great talkers, but many of us are bad listeners.[1] We are so involved in what we are going to say next that we basically stop paying attention to what the other person is saying and our body language consequently turns to one of impatience or disinterest. We might start tapping our hands or feet, turn slightly away from the person. When the other person is talking, remember to listen and make eye contact. This tells the person that you are interested in what he or she has to say, and it will make for a remarkable conversation.[2]

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2. Remember the details they mention

A good listener actually listens and stores interesting tidbits for the next conversation. Maybe the person you were talking to mentioned how he was taking up a new hobby, or how her daughter is due for her SATs. Remember the name of the person, where they are from and where does their family live. Remember their children’s names or pet’s name the next time you meet them; they’ll be happy to see how much of an impression they made on you.

3. Fill in awkward pauses with interesting and personal questions

Sometimes, after a particularly anecdotal story, there is a lull in the conversation. Don’t let this pause get awkwardly long. Instead of talking about generalities or even the weather, ask them a personal question – like where they are from, or how are they adjusting to their current location, or maybe even when and where was their last vacation? A directed and personal question brings about fresh conversation as well as new directions of where to take a remarkable conversation next.

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4. If you sense a little boredom, ask them for their opinion

Even the best of conversationalists might ramble and bore the other person a bit. If you sense or see a slight disinterest radiating from the other person, ask them for their opinion on a generality. Giving them an opportunity to speak will make for a remarkable conversation. You don’t have to ask them to state their opinion on say the political scenario of Africa; rather ask them a simple opinion on the latest blockbuster they watched, or which of Paulo Coelho’s books have they found the most interesting and why. And once they start talking, remember point one – listen and remember the tiny details that emerge.

5. Finally, pay them a true and unique compliment

The person you are talking to might have met plenty of new faces that day, and he or she won’t necessarily remember what you talked about or said to him/her. But people really tend to remember how you made them feel. Leave the other person on a high with a smile on their face; you can do this by paying them a heartfelt and unique compliment. If you call a model beautiful or an entrepreneur successful – you are paying them a generic compliment they might have become immune to. Instead tell them about how their eyes smile before they do, or how they have the ability to make people feel at home by just smiling at them. If you leave them feeling good about themselves, then you truly have had a remarkable conversation. [3]

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These are five easy guidelines to follow that will help you become a good conversationalist who people want to talk to…

Featured photo credit: HuffPost via i.huffpost.com

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Reference

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Rima Pundir

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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