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5 Things Our Parents Expect From Us During Old Age

5 Things Our Parents Expect From Us During Old Age

Studies suggest that most aging parents are unhappy with their children and complain for the lack of ‘understanding’. On the other hand, children believe that parents have very high expectations from them. In addition to this, most children don’t even know what their parents actually ‘want’ from them. This causes the tiff that most parents and children find hard to end.

To help you strengthen your bond with your aging parents, given below are six things your parents actually expect from you.

1. Time: Sit With Them!

“Listen to your father who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” – Proverbs 23:22

Time, without a doubt, is the biggest asset. According to reports, most parents wait for their children to visit home and give them time and attention.

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Your parents understand that you have to go and live your life, however, they expect you to come to them or at least call them to talk to them. They do not want to be a part of those 70% of people who only speak to their parents once a month.

A good option is to remember their milestones, such as their birthdays and wedding anniversaries. Pay them a visit on their special day, or make your presence felt with the help of gifts. And in case you live in the same town as your parents, you may have a day dedicated to your parents.

If you do not know how to strike a conversation, talk to them about your past moments. Look at old photographs and remember happy times.

2. Emotional Support: I’m Here For You!

You need to understand that your parents are getting old and they may not be as strong or quick as they once were. You need to meet pace with them and lend them emotional support when needed. This is why it is important to communicate with your parents. If you do not talk to them, you will not realize their issues or the problems they face.

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You should also look at finding a caregiver for them to make them feel less dependable. An app like Honor can help you find the right help and stay in touch with your parents. When they have someone hired by you taking care of them, they will feel you are there for them and you actually do care, even if you are not physically present there.

3. Financial Support: They Helped You Too!

Be a giver, it will make you feel more satisfied. It may sound like a burden, but it’s important to stay connected with your parents. You may divide responsibility between siblings to ease off some of the pressure.

Also remember that there are tax implications of supporting your parent, which may be beneficial for you.

Other than this, you may help find financial aid programs for your parents and help them signup. The department of ageing can help you do this.

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4. Decision Making: Hear What They Have to Say

You have to give respect to your parents and listen to what they have to say. There seems to be a generation gap and most children believe that their parents do not understand their problems. However, we tend to neglect the real life experience our parents have.

Your parents may have some excellent life and career related suggestions for you. Let your parents be a part of your life by letting them know of your important decisions, including moving out, job and marriage. While you may not necessary do as they want you to do, but listening to them would really help.

Remember that there exists a very thin line between controlling and caring, and you need to see it and make it matter. A good example would be The Gilmore Girls, a show that highlighted parenting issues. On one side is Lorelai’s relationship with her bossy parents, and on the other hand is her relationship with her daughter where they listen to each other but do as they please.

5. Work Hard: They Want You to Succeed

Your parents want you to find success and be happy. They do not want children who have no aim in life. Remember what your parents taught you and let them know their teachings matter.

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According to a 2004 study, old people often realize the mistake they have made and do not want their children to repeat the same. They want you to be a better human and find success in what you do.

It should also be remembered that the culture you live in also changes what your parents expect out of you. For example, 70% of Indian parents want to live with their children, while a majority of American parents prefer to live on their own. The solution lies in being there for your parents and listening to them. Also, remember that you will need a lot of patience to deal with your parents, but once you learn the art it would be a smooth sail.

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Ahmed Raza

CEO of Samurais.co

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Last Updated on September 16, 2019

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

How to Stop Procrastinating: 11 Practical Ways for Procrastinators

You have a deadline looming. However, instead of doing your work, you are fiddling with miscellaneous things like checking email, social media, watching videos, surfing blogs and forums. You know you should be working, but you just don’t feel like doing anything.

We are all familiar with the procrastination phenomenon. When we procrastinate, we squander away our free time and put off important tasks we should be doing them till it’s too late. And when it is indeed too late, we panic and wish we got started earlier.

The chronic procrastinators I know have spent years of their life looped in this cycle. Delaying, putting off things, slacking, hiding from work, facing work only when it’s unavoidable, then repeating this loop all over again. It’s a bad habit that eats us away and prevents us from achieving greater results in life.

Don’t let procrastination take over your life. Here, I will share my personal steps on how to stop procrastinating. These 11 steps will definitely apply to you too:

1. Break Your Work into Little Steps

Part of the reason why we procrastinate is because subconsciously, we find the work too overwhelming for us. Break it down into little parts, then focus on one part at the time. If you still procrastinate on the task after breaking it down, then break it down even further. Soon, your task will be so simple that you will be thinking “gee, this is so simple that I might as well just do it now!”.

For example, I’m currently writing a new book (on How to achieve anything in life). Book writing at its full scale is an enormous project and can be overwhelming. However, when I break it down into phases such as –

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  • (1) Research
  • (2) Deciding the topic
  • (3) Creating the outline
  • (4) Drafting the content
  • (5) Writing Chapters #1 to #10,
  • (6) Revision
  • (7) etc.

Suddenly it seems very manageable. What I do then is to focus on the immediate phase and get it done to my best ability, without thinking about the other phases. When it’s done, I move on to the next.

2. Change Your Environment

Different environments have different impact on our productivity. Look at your work desk and your room. Do they make you want to work or do they make you want to snuggle and sleep? If it’s the latter, you should look into changing your workspace.

One thing to note is that an environment that makes us feel inspired before may lose its effect after a period of time. If that’s the case, then it’s time to change things around. Refer to Steps #2 and #3 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity, which talks about revamping your environment and workspace.

3. Create a Detailed Timeline with Specific Deadlines

Having just 1 deadline for your work is like an invitation to procrastinate. That’s because we get the impression that we have time and keep pushing everything back, until it’s too late.

Break down your project (see tip #1), then create an overall timeline with specific deadlines for each small task. This way, you know you have to finish each task by a certain date. Your timelines must be robust, too – i.e. if you don’t finish this by today, it’s going to jeopardize everything else you have planned after that. This way it creates the urgency to act.

My goals are broken down into monthly, weekly, right down to the daily task lists, and the list is a call to action that I must accomplish this by the specified date, else my goals will be put off.

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Here’re more tips on setting deadlines: 22 Tips for Effective Deadlines

4. Eliminate Your Procrastination Pit-Stops

If you are procrastinating a little too much, maybe that’s because you make it easy to procrastinate.

Identify your browser bookmarks that take up a lot of your time and shift them into a separate folder that is less accessible. Disable the automatic notification option in your email client. Get rid of the distractions around you.

I know some people will out of the way and delete or deactivate their facebook accounts. I think it’s a little drastic and extreme as addressing procrastination is more about being conscious of our actions than counteracting via self-binding methods, but if you feel that’s what’s needed, go for it.

5. Hang out with People Who Inspire You to Take Action

I’m pretty sure if you spend just 10 minutes talking to Steve Jobs or Bill Gates, you’ll be more inspired to act than if you spent the 10 minutes doing nothing. The people we are with influence our behaviors. Of course spending time with Steve Jobs or Bill Gates every day is probably not a feasible method, but the principle applies — The Hidden Power of Every Single Person Around You

Identify the people, friends or colleagues who trigger you – most likely the go-getters and hard workers – and hang out with them more often. Soon you will inculcate their drive and spirit too.

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As a personal development blogger, I “hang out” with inspiring personal development experts by reading their blogs and corresponding with them regularly via email and social media. It’s communication via new media and it works all the same.

6. Get a Buddy

Having a companion makes the whole process much more fun. Ideally, your buddy should be someone who has his/her own set of goals. Both of you will hold each other accountable to your goals and plans. While it’s not necessary for both of you to have the same goals, it’ll be even better if that’s the case, so you can learn from each other.

I have a good friend whom I talk to regularly, and we always ask each other about our goals and progress in achieving those goals. Needless to say, it spurs us to keep taking action.

7. Tell Others About Your Goals

This serves the same function as #6, on a larger scale. Tell all your friends, colleagues, acquaintances and family about your projects. Now whenever you see them, they are bound to ask you about your status on those projects.

For example, sometimes I announce my projects on The Personal Excellence Blog, Twitter and Facebook, and my readers will ask me about them on an ongoing basis. It’s a great way to keep myself accountable to my plans.

8. Seek out Someone Who Has Already Achieved the Outcome

What is it you want to accomplish here, and who are the people who have accomplished this already? Go seek them out and connect with them. Seeing living proof that your goals are very well achievable if you take action is one of the best triggers for action.

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9. Re-Clarify Your Goals

If you have been procrastinating for an extended period of time, it might reflect a misalignment between what you want and what you are currently doing. Often times, we outgrow our goals as we discover more about ourselves, but we don’t change our goals to reflect that.

Get away from your work (a short vacation will be good, else just a weekend break or staycation will do too) and take some time to regroup yourself. What exactly do you want to achieve? What should you do to get there? What are the steps to take? Does your current work align with that? If not, what can you do about it?

10. Stop Over-Complicating Things

Are you waiting for a perfect time to do this? That maybe now is not the best time because of X, Y, Z reasons? Ditch that thought because there’s never a perfect time. If you keep waiting for one, you are never going to accomplish anything.

Perfectionism is one of the biggest reasons for procrastination. Read more about why perfectionist tendencies can be a bane than a boon: Why Being A Perfectionist May Not Be So Perfect.

11. Get a Grip and Just Do It

At the end, it boils down to taking action. You can do all the strategizing, planning and hypothesizing, but if you don’t take action, nothing’s going to happen. Occasionally, I get readers and clients who keep complaining about their situations but they still refuse to take action at the end of the day.

Reality check:

I have never heard anyone procrastinate their way to success before and I doubt it’s going to change in the near future.  Whatever it is you are procrastinating on, if you want to get it done, you need to get a grip on yourself and do it.

More About Procrastination

Featured photo credit: Malvestida Magazine via unsplash.com

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