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Want To Have A Conversation With Anyone Easily? You Should Know These 7 Tricks

Want To Have A Conversation With Anyone Easily? You Should Know These 7 Tricks

We’ve all been in situations like these: walking into a roomful of strangers (felt more like a den of lions though) and wanting to start a conversation with somebody, anybody so that we too could feel a part of it all. For some of us, this is a slightly scary situation. Call it a lack of conversation skills or a shaky self-confidence: breaking the ice with a stranger is not easy. But hey, good things in life rarely are. So here are seven tricks that can go a long way in making you ace a conversation with anyone, anytime…

1. Smile, greet and break the ice

We very often get confused about the conversation before we start – how do we approach a stranger? Frankly, it’s simple. You paste a genuine smile on your face, walk up to the person or group you have been eyeing and simply say hello.[1] Make sure the person, or the group you are walking to, isn’t already engaged in a conversation. Wait for a break and then dive in with gusto.

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2. Keep the small talk to a minimum

Conversations that involve too many formalities or small talk die down pretty quickly. Cut down the how are you’s and I am fine’s down and simply ask a personal question instead. Ask the person where he or she is from, or how are they finding the weather or even where they work at… A question will give rise to an answer and so on and so forth….

3. Make people feel happy about themselves

People may not remember what you said or how you approached them, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Paying a genuine but unique compliment is one way to make sure that they remember you, for you made them feel good about themselves. Make it a genuine compliment and a unique one, ut don;t gush lest you come across as a sycophant.[2] Don’t pay the banal compliment of you are so beautiful. Try something like – that purple dress is really bringing out your eyes; they look luminescent…

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4. Ask a simple, uncomplicated opinion

As is with a question, you can also ask someone their opinion about something. If you’ve met at a conference, ask them how they found the speaker. If they are nursing a cuppa, ask them if the coffee is any good. Make it a simple opinion but, don’t assume that everyone shares you political or moral interests or has anything to say about the latest economic fiasco.

5. Try and find some common ground

If a person opens up to you and shares any personal details; try and find some common ground with him or her. Negativity will kill a conversation, but a “me too” will breathe in new life. By finding a commonality, you are aligning yourself with the other person and subtly telling him or her that you are on their side.[3]

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6. Pay attention and be present

When a person is talking to you, really listen. Pay attention to what the other person is saying or feeling and understand their viewpoint thoroughly. Make eye contact while they talk to you, or even when you are addressing them – this tells them that you are into what they are saying and find them interesting.

7. Remember the details

Finally, you’ve had that first conversation. To make the second conversation and furthermore interesting, remember the little details about that person like his name, hometown, children or pets. The next time you remember a detail and talk about it, the person will know that you are genuinely interested in him and is likely to respond positively.[4]

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So these were seven unconventional tips to really help you have meaningful and successful conversations be it personally or professionally… Happy conversing!

Featured photo credit: Faith Counts via faithcounts.com

Reference

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Rima Pundir

Health, Wellness & Productivity Writer

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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