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Want To Have A Conversation With Anyone Easily? You Should Know These 7 Tricks

Want To Have A Conversation With Anyone Easily? You Should Know These 7 Tricks

We’ve all been in situations like these: walking into a roomful of strangers (felt more like a den of lions though) and wanting to start a conversation with somebody, anybody so that we too could feel a part of it all. For some of us, this is a slightly scary situation. Call it a lack of conversation skills or a shaky self-confidence: breaking the ice with a stranger is not easy. But hey, good things in life rarely are. So here are seven tricks that can go a long way in making you ace a conversation with anyone, anytime…

1. Smile, greet and break the ice

We very often get confused about the conversation before we start – how do we approach a stranger? Frankly, it’s simple. You paste a genuine smile on your face, walk up to the person or group you have been eyeing and simply say hello.[1] Make sure the person, or the group you are walking to, isn’t already engaged in a conversation. Wait for a break and then dive in with gusto.

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2. Keep the small talk to a minimum

Conversations that involve too many formalities or small talk die down pretty quickly. Cut down the how are you’s and I am fine’s down and simply ask a personal question instead. Ask the person where he or she is from, or how are they finding the weather or even where they work at… A question will give rise to an answer and so on and so forth….

3. Make people feel happy about themselves

People may not remember what you said or how you approached them, but they will always remember how you made them feel. Paying a genuine but unique compliment is one way to make sure that they remember you, for you made them feel good about themselves. Make it a genuine compliment and a unique one, ut don;t gush lest you come across as a sycophant.[2] Don’t pay the banal compliment of you are so beautiful. Try something like – that purple dress is really bringing out your eyes; they look luminescent…

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4. Ask a simple, uncomplicated opinion

As is with a question, you can also ask someone their opinion about something. If you’ve met at a conference, ask them how they found the speaker. If they are nursing a cuppa, ask them if the coffee is any good. Make it a simple opinion but, don’t assume that everyone shares you political or moral interests or has anything to say about the latest economic fiasco.

5. Try and find some common ground

If a person opens up to you and shares any personal details; try and find some common ground with him or her. Negativity will kill a conversation, but a “me too” will breathe in new life. By finding a commonality, you are aligning yourself with the other person and subtly telling him or her that you are on their side.[3]

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6. Pay attention and be present

When a person is talking to you, really listen. Pay attention to what the other person is saying or feeling and understand their viewpoint thoroughly. Make eye contact while they talk to you, or even when you are addressing them – this tells them that you are into what they are saying and find them interesting.

7. Remember the details

Finally, you’ve had that first conversation. To make the second conversation and furthermore interesting, remember the little details about that person like his name, hometown, children or pets. The next time you remember a detail and talk about it, the person will know that you are genuinely interested in him and is likely to respond positively.[4]

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So these were seven unconventional tips to really help you have meaningful and successful conversations be it personally or professionally… Happy conversing!

Featured photo credit: Faith Counts via faithcounts.com

Reference

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Rima Pundir

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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