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Realizng These 5 Things Can Help You Find The One More Easily

Realizng These 5 Things Can Help You Find The One More Easily

Lamenting our single status is easy when we’re surrounded by people in love and constant reminders that we haven’t found that perfect person yet. It can lead to a spiral of overthinking, believing there must be something wrong with us or (ridiculously) that we’re just plain unlovable.

While getting in this mindset from time to time is natural, there are some thought patterns and habits we can fall into that don’t serve us and actually may well be preventing us from letting that great lover gravitate into our lives.

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With that in mind, here are 5 realizations we need to make in order to get into the right mindset to meet the next love of our lives.

1. Stop Playing The Comparison Game

Comparison breeds misery. We need to understand that we’re all on our own unique journey and so comparing your single life to your best friend’s happy marriage won’t get you anywhere. Everyone has their own problems which aren’t always apparent on the surface so appreciating your single status without feeling that you’re being left behind or failing compared to others, is the only way to stay in a healthy and happy mindset.

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Appreciate that your single status gives you a chance to do what you want to do, when you want to do it. It’s giving you breathing space to grow and better yourself while feeling anticipation and excitement for the time when your amazing relationship will manifest into your life.

2. Stop Believing There’s Something Wrong With You

If you constantly lament your single status with the all-consuming question of “what the heck is wrong with me?!” then you are really stopping yourself from being in the right frame of mind to find that special someone.

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Do you really believe that everyone who’s found love has no insecurities, fears or flaws? Believing there’s something fundamentally wrong with you is what may be holding you back from love. Most of the time your flaws aren’t even real flaws only something you’ve created in your mind. You have to love yourself first before you can let the decent love of someone else in.

3. Find The People Who WANT You Not The People That NEED You

Depending on our mindset, we can attract the wrong kind of people. Be cognizant of people’s motives towards you. We can easily fall for people who are looking for someone to fill a void even if they don’t know it themselves. Beware of needy people and instead give attention to those who genuinely want you. Cutting out the needy ones will help you move forward to finding a genuine person who wants you for the right reasons and you’ll be in with more of a chance of a true, lasting relationship.

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4. Identify Those Who Love You Rather Than Those Who Just Chase You

The idea that people need to play hard to get to attract others is a massively flawed premise. Yes, it will create intrigue and an air of mystery that can entice the opposite sex but in reality, it doesn’t make for a lasting relationship. Acting aloof and almost ‘bitchy’ will only attract those who are in for the thrill of the chase rather than seeing you as a potential life partner. Instead, give a chance to the ones looking from the sidelines, the ones that admire you from afar and aren’t into playing games. They’re are the ones brimming with potential.

5. Your List of Ideals Won’t Necessarily Make A Great Soulmate

Writing down a list of ideal attributes is a great way to figure out what kind of future partner you want. After all, we all should have deal-breakers when it comes to certain traits. There is a problem with this, though; what is written down on paper isn’t necessarily going to make them a perfect partner in reality.

So instead of listing stuff such as height, eye color, job or their specific desire to travel, list out ways in which they can be a good partner to you; understanding, supportive, kind, spiritual – all the things that will help you both to grow in the relationship.

Conclusion

Remember, no matter what others tell you or you tell yourself, there is nothing wrong with being single. You aren’t failing and there’s definitely nothing wrong with you. Adopting a positive mindset is key to getting yourself in a good mindful place where you’ll attract, not just anyone, but the absolute right person for you.

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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