Wonder why some people seem more popular than others? They waltz into a bar not knowing a soul and within 10 minutes they’re high-fiving other patrons and cracking jokes with the bartender like best buds. It can be baffling and frustrating to witness when you’re struggling to get up enough courage to ask a co-worker out for a cup of coffee, while some other guy just breezes past with confidence. These people weren’t born lucky. Actual tips exist to help you gain that kind of confidence. In fact, the way you ask questions can determine your popularity and success.
The perfect way to open a conversation? Ask a question! However, don’t fall into the generalization trap. Asking someone: “How are you?” will garner the automatic “fine” and your conversation ends as if a door slammed in your face. Asking the same person how their daughter did at her recent poetry slam will elicit a positive response because by showing your knowledge of them, you’re showing you care. And they will be more than happy to offer details of their life event.
For a complete stranger who you know nothing about, take cues from what they’re doing to start a conversation. Are they jamming to music? Ask them about their favorite band. Are they drinking a trendy cocktail? Ask them if it is worth trying one yourself.
Make eye contact and listen to their words. Follow-up questions should be based on what they tell you. Find common ground to keep your conversation flowing.
Always maintain a light-hearted sense of humor. It makes people feel good. People will remember the person who made them laugh more than the one who bemoaned their ex.
Face-to-face conversations are becoming a lost art form. Practise striking up a conversation by learning how to ask questions the right way to help you gain popularity and success.