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The Way You Ask Questions Can Determine Your Popularity And Success

The Way You Ask Questions Can Determine Your Popularity And Success

Wonder why some people seem more popular than others? They waltz into a bar not knowing a soul and within 10 minutes they’re high-fiving other patrons and cracking jokes with the bartender like best buds. It can be baffling and frustrating to witness when you’re struggling to get up enough courage to ask a co-worker out for a cup of coffee, while some other guy just breezes past with confidence. These people weren’t born lucky. Actual tips exist to help you gain that kind of confidence. In fact, the way you ask questions can determine your popularity and success.

The perfect way to open a conversation? Ask a question! However, don’t fall into the generalization trap. Asking someone: “How are you?” will garner the automatic “fine” and your conversation ends as if a door slammed in your face. Asking the same person how their daughter did at her recent poetry slam will elicit a positive response because by showing your knowledge of them, you’re showing you care. And they will be more than happy to offer details of their life event.

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For a complete stranger who you know nothing about, take cues from what they’re doing to start a conversation. Are they jamming to music? Ask them about their favorite band. Are they drinking a trendy cocktail? Ask them if it is worth trying one yourself.

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Make eye contact and listen to their words. Follow-up questions should be based on what they tell you. Find common ground to keep your conversation flowing.

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Always maintain a light-hearted sense of humor. It makes people feel good. People will remember the person who made them laugh more than the one who bemoaned their ex.

Face-to-face conversations are becoming a lost art form. Practise striking up a conversation by learning how to ask questions the right way to help you gain popularity and success.

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Sally White

writer, artist & blogger

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Last Updated on June 26, 2020

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

10 Things To Remember When Everything Goes Wrong

Problems and heartaches in life are inevitable. However, there are some things to remember when you’re right in the thick of it that can help you get through it. When everything seems to be going wrong, practice telling yourself these things.

1. This Too Shall Pass

Sometimes life’s rough patches feel like they’re going to last forever. Whether you’re dealing with work-related issues, family problems, or stressful situations, very few problems last for a lifetime. So remind yourself, that things won’t be this bad forever.

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2. Some Things are Going Right

When things are going wrong, it’s hard to recognize what is going right. It’s easy to screen out the good things and only focus on the bad things. Remind yourself that some things are going right. Purposely look for the positive, even if it is something very small.

3. I Have Some Control

One of the most most important things to remember is that you have some control of the situation. Even if you aren’t in complete control of the situation, one thing you can always control is your attitude and reaction. Focus on managing what is within your control.

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4. I Can Ask for Help

Asking for help can be hard sometimes. However, it’s one of the best ways to deal with tough situations. Tell people what you need specifically if they offer to help. Don’t be afraid to call on friends and family and ask them for help, whether you need financial assistance, emotional support, or practical help.

5. Much of This Won’t Matter in a Few Years

Most of the problems we worry about today won’t actually matter five years from now. Remind yourself that whatever is going wrong now is only a small percentage of your actual life. Even if you’re dealing with a major problem, like a loved one’s illness, remember that a lot of good things are likely to happen in the course of a year or two as well.

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6. I Can Handle This

A lack of confidence in handling tough times can add to stress. One of the best things to remember is that you can handle tough situations. Even though you might feel angry, hurt, disappointed, or sad, it won’t kill you. You can get through it.

7. Something Good Will Come Out of This

No matter how bad a situation is, it’s almost certain that something good will come out of it. At the very least, it’s likely that you will learn a life lesson. Perhaps you learn not to repeat the same mistake in the future or maybe you move on from a bad situation and find something better. Look for the one good thing that can result when bad things happen.

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8. I Can Accept What’s Out of my Control

There are many things that aren’t within your control. You can’t change the past, another person’s behavior, or a loved one’s health issues. Don’t waste time trying to force others to change or trying to make things be different if it isn’t within your control. Investing time and energy into trying to things you can’t will cause you to feel helpless and exhausted. Acceptance is one of the best way to establish resilience.

9. I Have Overcome Past Difficulties

One of the things to remember when you’re facing difficulties, is that you’ve handled problems in the past. Don’t overlook past difficulties that you’ve dealt with successfully. Remind yourself of all the past problems you’ve overcome and you’ll gain confidence in dealing with the current issues.

10. I Need to Take Care of Myself

When everything seems to be going wrong, take care of yourself. Get plenty of rest, get some exercise, eat healthy, and spend some time doing leisure activities. When you’re taking better care of yourself you’ll be better equipped to deal with your problems.

More Tips to Help You Carry On

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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