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The Way You Ask Questions Can Determine Your Popularity And Success

The Way You Ask Questions Can Determine Your Popularity And Success

Wonder why some people seem more popular than others? They waltz into a bar not knowing a soul and within 10 minutes they’re high-fiving other patrons and cracking jokes with the bartender like best buds. It can be baffling and frustrating to witness when you’re struggling to get up enough courage to ask a co-worker out for a cup of coffee, while some other guy just breezes past with confidence. These people weren’t born lucky. Actual tips exist to help you gain that kind of confidence. In fact, the way you ask questions can determine your popularity and success.

The perfect way to open a conversation? Ask a question! However, don’t fall into the generalization trap. Asking someone: “How are you?” will garner the automatic “fine” and your conversation ends as if a door slammed in your face. Asking the same person how their daughter did at her recent poetry slam will elicit a positive response because by showing your knowledge of them, you’re showing you care. And they will be more than happy to offer details of their life event.

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For a complete stranger who you know nothing about, take cues from what they’re doing to start a conversation. Are they jamming to music? Ask them about their favorite band. Are they drinking a trendy cocktail? Ask them if it is worth trying one yourself.

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Make eye contact and listen to their words. Follow-up questions should be based on what they tell you. Find common ground to keep your conversation flowing.

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Always maintain a light-hearted sense of humor. It makes people feel good. People will remember the person who made them laugh more than the one who bemoaned their ex.

Face-to-face conversations are becoming a lost art form. Practise striking up a conversation by learning how to ask questions the right way to help you gain popularity and success.

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Sally White

writer, artist & blogger

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

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Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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