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Two Common Fatal Mistakes People Make In Their Relationships That Ruin Their Lives

Two Common Fatal Mistakes People Make In Their Relationships That Ruin Their Lives

You’re in a relationship and you really want to stay that way. But after you commit, things start to go wrong and before you know it, you’re sitting heartbroken in your room crying. Sound familiar? About 40-50% of married couples get divorced in the United States today.[1] So what can you do to make sure you avoid adding to the dismal number? For starters, avoid these two common fatal mistakes.

Mistake Number 1: Forming a relationship because you feel you need it, not because you want it

Many people confuse need with want. When you need someone, you may be staying because you’re afraid to be alone, for financial security, or because you aren’t sure you can find anything better. When you want someone, no matter what happens, no matter how difficult it might be, you still want to stay. Then that’s love.

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A common misconception is that people think that they need to find someone to feel complete. However no one can do that for you except yourself. One of the most important prequalifications for getting and keeping a good relationship is your ability to be alone with yourself.

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Mistake Number 2: Rebounding

Research suggests that rebounding happens because your brain craves an ex-partner similarly to the way that an addict’s brain craves a drug.[2] You are quite literally going through withdrawal. You feel that you need someone to fill the gap left behind by your partner. Allowing yourself to rebound, however, is a surefire way to make yourself and your rebound partner miserable.

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Next time when you find it hard to let go of the past and doubt if you should get back with your ex, remember this theory. Don’t make the same mistakes again. You will be much happier in life and in your relationships if you make an effort to break these common patterns.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pixabay.com

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Reference

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Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on April 9, 2020

How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative

How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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Learn How to Surround Yourself With Positive People.

2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

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4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

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6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

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8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

More Tips for Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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