Advertising
Advertising

Mentally Strong People Don’t Just Tell Themselves To Be Happy, They Do These 4 Things

Mentally Strong People Don’t Just Tell Themselves To Be Happy, They Do These 4 Things

Do you ever find yourself wondering why you aren’t happier? Sometimes, it seems like the act of saying you’re happy isn’t enough to actually make you happy. It’s a good start, sure, but don’t stop there. Mentally powerful people don’t just hope for happiness, they take action to make it a reality. Why? Because they understand that life is meant to be enjoyed. So, without further delay, here are four things that mentally strong people do to achieve happiness.

1. They don’t base their happiness on achieving things that are out of their hands

Focus on the things you can control, and you’ll find that you’re more motivated and less worried about failure. For example, you can’t know when you’ll find love or when you’ll be able to afford your dream house. If you base your happiness on these unknowns, your mental health will suffer as long as they remain out of your reach. So, instead pay attention to how often you make efforts to bring yourself closer to your goals. Measuring small things like the steps you take toward a goal can immediately make you more certain and less worried about a situation. It’s a wonderful tool for self improvement.

Advertising

2. They shift their worries away from the long-term problem

Instead focus on daily practices that will help you solve that problem. Worrying about the way things will turn out in the distant future is worse than unhelpful; it’s the cause of much unneeded stress. For example, if you’re worried about a piano recital or a public speaking engagement you have in a month, focus on preparing for it each day instead of worrying about how it will turn out. Trust that your present efforts will help you achieve what you want if you make them a routine.

Advertising

3.They keep track their emotions using a bullet journal

A bullet journal[1] is a personal mix between a diary, a to-do list, and a planner. You can make lists and graphs every day that describe how you’re feeling physically and emotionally and the reasons for specific feelings throughout the day. You can also use the journal to track your daily habits. You will have a clear readout of how long you spent studying, exercising, and watching TV. A bullet journal is a wonderful tool that will help you see and change your habits. Better than that, it will show you how the changes you make each day effect your moods.

Advertising

4. They don’t ignore their negative emotions

Try again. Ignoring negative emotions can actually be extremely harmful to your mental health. It’s better for you to challenge them[2]. Do you listen to all of the things your inner voice tells you? No, I’m not talking about your voice of wisdom when I say inner voice. I’m talking about the voice of fear: the voice that tells you why you can’t do something and why you’ll never amount to anything compared with the success of a family member. Are you familiar with that voice? Try this. Next time it speaks up and tells you you’re not good enough, ask it one simple question: “why?” You always have the right to ask this question. Remember that most of us are stronger, smarter, and more capable than we believe ourselves to be. Don’t let fear-based thoughts hold you back from your true potential.

Happiness is really quite simple when you remove all the preconceived notions that tell you otherwise. However, getting the things you want out of life and learning to be content and happy as you move towards your goals takes some effort. You’ll find that an open mind and perseverance are key. Using these tools, there’s no reason you shouldn’t be as happy as you want to be.

Advertising

Reference

More by this author

Marina Richter

Freelance Writer

Always Feeling Hungry? You Might Be Simply Thirsty Are You Satisfied with Your Relationship or Settling for Less? Take This Test to Find Out Once You Learn These 8 Hard Truths About Life, You’ll Become Much Stronger Mentally Strong People Don’t Just Tell Themselves To Be Happy, They Do These 4 Things How To Tell Someone You Love Them Subtly Yet Sweetly (100 Ways Provided)

Trending in Psychology

1 The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected 2 Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering 3 How to Increase Your Self Awareness to Be Much More Successful 4 How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind 5 How to Handle Rejection and Overcome the Fear of Being Rejected

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on February 28, 2019

The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected

The Desire to Be Liked Will End You up Feeling More Rejected

Admit it, you feel good when other people think you’re nice. Maybe you were complimented by a stranger saying that you had a nice outfit. You felt good about yourself and you were happy for the rest of the day.

    We all like to feel liked, whether by a stranger or a loved one. It makes you feel valued and that feeling can be addictive. But when the high wears off and you no longer have validation that someone thinks you’re a good, sweet person, you may feel insecure and lacking. While wanting others to like you isn’t in itself a bad thing, it can be like a disease when you feel that you constantly need to be liked by others.

    Humans are wired to want to be liked.

    It’s human nature to seek approval from others. In ancient times, we needed acceptance to survive. Humans are social animals and we need to bond with others and form a community to survive. If we are not liked by others, we will be left out.

    Babies are born to be cute and be liked by adults.

      The large rounded head, big forehead, large eyes, chubby cheeks, and a rounded body. Babies can’t survive without an adult taking care of them. It’s vital for adults to find babies lovely to pay attention to them and divert energy towards them.[1]

      Advertising

      Recognitions have always been given by others.

        From the time you were a child, whether at school or at home, you have been receiving recognition from external parties. For instance, you received grades from teachers, and if you wanted something, you needed approval from your parents. We’ve learned to get what we want by catering to other people’s expectations. Maybe you wanted to get a higher grade in art so you’d be more attentive in art classes than others to impress your teacher. Your teacher would have a generally good impression on you and would likely to give you a higher grade.

        When you grow up, it’s no different. Perhaps you are desperate to get your work done so you do things that your manager would approve. Or maybe you try to impress your date by doing things they like but you don’t really like.

        Facebook and Instagram have only made things worse. People posting their photos and sharing about their life on Instagram just to feels so good to get more likes and attention.

        Being liked becomes essential to reaching desires.

          We start to get hyper focused on how others see us, and it’s easy to imagine having the spotlight on you at all time. People see you and they take an interest in you. This feels good. In turn, you start doing more things that bring you more attention. It’s all positive until you do something they don’t like and you receive criticism. When this happens, you spiral because you’ve lost the feeling of acceptance.

          Advertising

          But the reality is this is all just perception. Humans, as a species, are selfish. We are all just looking at ourselves; we only perceive others are giving us their focus. Even for those who please others are actually focusing on making themselves feel good. It’s like an optical illusion for your ego.

            The desire to be liked is an endless chase.

              Aiming to please others in order to feel better will exhaust you because you can never catch up with others’ expectation.

              The ideal image will always change.

              It used to be ideal to have a fair weight, a little bit fat was totally acceptable. Then it’s ideal to be very slim. Recently we’ve seen “dad-bods” getting some positive attention. But this is already quickly changing. In fact, a recent article from Men’s Health asked 100 women if they would date a guy who had a dad-bod, about 50% of women claimed to not care either way, only 15% exclusively date men with a “dad bod”.[2]

              People’s expectations on you can be wrong.

              Most people put their expectations on others based on what’s right in the social norms, yet the social norms are created by humans in which 80% of them are just ordinary people according to the 80/20 rules.[3]

              Advertising

              Think about it, every day, from the time you wake up to the time you go to sleep, you filter what you believe to be truth. If someone compliments you, you take it and add it to an idea of what the best version of yourself is. When someone criticizes you, even in a destructive way, you might accept it altogether, or add it to a list of things you’re insecure about. When you absorb the wrong opinion from others, you will either sabotage your self-esteem or overestimate yourself by accepting all the good compliments and stop growing; or accepting all the destructive criticisms and sabotage your own self-esteem and happiness.

              Others’ desires are not the same as yours.

                If you live your life as one long effort of trying to please other people, you will never be happy. You’re always going to rely on others to make you feel worth living. This leads to total confusion when it comes to your personal goals; when there’s no external recognition, you don’t know what to live for.

                The only person to please is yourself.

                  Think of others’ approval as fuel and think of yourself as a car. When that fuel runs out, you can’t function. This is not a healthy mindset.

                  In reality, we’re human and we can create our own fuel. You can feel good based on how much you like yourself. When you do things to make you like yourself more, you can start to see a big change in your opinion. For example, if being complimented by others made you feel good and accepted, look in the mirror and compliment yourself. Say what you wish others would say about you.

                  Advertising

                  Internal approval takes practice, but it’s worth the effort. You have to re-train your own mind. Think of the dog who knows there is food when the bell rings, the reflex is hard wired into the dog.[4] We need our own triggers to reinforce the habit of internal approval too. Recognize yourself every day instead of waiting for people to do it for you, check out in this article the steps to take to recognize your own achievements and gain empowerment: Don’t Wait for People to Praise You. Do It Yourself Every Single Day

                  Notice that when you start to focus on yourself and what to do to make yourself happy, others may criticize you. Since you’ve stopped trying to please others to meet their expectations, they may judge you for what you do. Be critical about what they say about you. They aren’t always right but so are you. Everyone has blind spots. Let go of biased and subjective comments but be humble and open to useful advice that will improve you.

                  Remember that you are worth it, every day. It will take time to stop relying on others to make you feel important and worth something, but the sooner you start trying, the happier and healthier you will be.

                  Featured photo credit: Annie Spratt via unsplash.com

                  Reference

                  Read Next