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Retirement life is not the end. It opens a whole new chapter.

Retirement life is not the end. It opens a whole new chapter.

Retirement is a special mark in your life to tell you that it is time to do whatever you like and whenever. You do not need to be thinking about work all the time.  However, things seem not to be that simple because if you do not have a good preparation both mentally and financially, you can put your retirement life into a nightmare.

Throughout your retirement life, stress will often come in many different forms. It is a silent killer because it can cause heart attacks, high blood pressure, angina and irregular heartbeat.

In this article, you can find the best solutions to live your retirement life to the fullest free from stress.

1. Social connection is crucial

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    Retirement life is not the end. It opens a whole new chapter. You should take this precious time to connect with your relatives, friends, neighbors or participate in a club. The social connection is really essential to maintain your healthy life physically and mentally. Sometimes, you might think it is difficult to do, but trust me that it is pretty easy and simple as follow:

    – Plan to have interesting activities with your friends.

    – Schedule a BBQ or special event with your relatives.

    – Take part in a mini class.

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    – Follow your hobby which you have not had the chance to do it before.

    – Travel and see the world from different angle.

    Just listen to your heart and discover what deeply insides you.

    2. Take good care of your health

    You should maintain a “suitable” exercise schedule with many different activities.  However, the question is how to know what is suitable. The answer is just simple: when you feel no pain doing it. It is suitable for you. Here are some recommended activities for your reference:

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    – Start jogging at the park or around your neighbor. Remember not to go too fast or jogging with bare feet. You should choose the right shoes for your feet. Take the rest whenever you feel tired and apply enough water.

    –  Do gardening is also a great way to be healthy. The only problem with gardening is weed control. The weed killer can definitely help but you need to choose the right one.

      You then also take a deeper look at what you eat every day. Try not to have one heavy meal, you should eat many small meals throughout the day instead.  Sometimes, your body can not digest all the needed nutrition and vitamins.  Supplements will then be a great choice for your health.

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      3. Try the heart lock-in technique

      When you feel stress or depressed, you can close your eyes and follow these steps:

      1.  Listen to your heartbeat, then slowly breathe in deeply.
      2. Remember or think of someone or something that is really important in your life.
      3. Follow your intuition and let your emotion all out.
      4. Listen to the instructions of your heart and you will know how to deal with the situation.

      4. Be the boss of your money

        You have worked two thirds of your life to earn money. Now it should be the time to enjoy life without stressing out about this matter.  Never put all your eggs in one rack. Dividing your retirement money into four portions:

        • Put the first portion into saving account for emergency usage.
        • Second portion for investment to generate interest.
        • Third portion to live and enjoy life.
        • Fourth portion to travel and follow your hobby.

        If you have not retired, have prepared for the best possible as you can, which includes paying off debt. If you are retired, make cuts unnecessary costs, live within the budget that you have, share with other retirees and seeking pleasure in the simple life.

        Featured photo credit: Retirement life via pixabay.com

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        Jessica Natalie

        Teacher, Runner

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        Last Updated on July 10, 2020

        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

        How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

        We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

        We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

        So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

        Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

        What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

        Boundaries are limits

        —they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

        Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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        Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

        Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

        Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

        How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

        Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

        1. Self-Awareness Comes First

        Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

        You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

        To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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        You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

        • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
        • When do you feel disrespected?
        • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
        • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
        • When do you want to be alone?
        • How much space do you need?

        You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

        2. Clear Communication Is Essential

        Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

        Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

        3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

        Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

        That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

        Sample language:

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        • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
        • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
        • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
        • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
        • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
        • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
        • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

        Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

        4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

        Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

        Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

        Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

        We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

        It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

        It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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        Final Thoughts

        Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

        Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

        Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

        The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

        Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

        Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

        They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

        Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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