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Last Updated on November 28, 2017

People Who Wear Crazy Socks Are More Brilliant, Creative And Successful

People Who Wear Crazy Socks Are More Brilliant, Creative And Successful

How do you feel about socks? Depending on how you view them, they can either be a necessity – in which case black, blue or grey will do – or they are a window to the way you can show off your individuality, personality and non-conformed attitudes. Sounds too dramatic and crazy? Well, a new study has found the whacky and crazy socks you choose to wear not only say a lot about you, but also say a lot about how people see you. Here’s how.

The Unassuming Chance To Show Huge Potential

Conformity is something many of us live our lives by. Our need to be part of the pack and not be ostracised runs deep and this shows in the way we speak, act and dress.

When someone doesn’t conform to the norms of society, they can be seen as strange, weird and a bit crazy such is our need to dismiss the unfamiliar. However, socks are a whole different ball game. Socks are there lurking at the bottom of our trousers, unassuming and almost secretive. They aren’t the most obvious item of clothing but they have huge potential to show off a flash of individuality to anyone who happens to notice.

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What Your Crazy Socks Say About You

Despite our conforming attitudes, a study published in the Journal of Consumer Research[1] investigated the theory that people who are nonconformists can potentially be viewed as being more high status and more competent than those who conform to social norms.

So what does this say about your choice of wearing bright neon, rainbow-striped, or leopard-print socks? Well, it found people who have shown to deliberately choose to wear whacky socks, are seen as having increased status and competency in the eyes of others. In other words, people have the potential to see you as more brilliant, creative and successful.

“We proposed that, under certain conditions, nonconforming behaviours can be more beneficial to someone than simply trying to fit in. In other words, when it looks deliberate, a person can appear to have a higher status and sense of competency,” stated authors of the study, Silvia Bellezza, Francesca Gino and Anat Keinan from Harvard University.[2]

Think of the corporate business man all dressed up in a smart, expensive suit only for his clients to catch a flash of his bright pink socks. It doesn’t exactly conform but the boldness of the choice shows him to be deliberately rebellious and proud.

The Perception of Crazy Socks

If you bust out the whacky patterns and crazy colours then there may be something else going on – embodied cognition. This is an interesting concept about how our clothing choices affect our cognitive processes.

Dr. Adam Galinsky, a social psychologist from the Northwestern University, conducted a study[3] that showed what we wear affects the way we think, feel and act.

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And this includes our socks. When we don our silly and crazy socks we are, in part, showing off our uniqueness and our confidence. It’s this that helps us get into the mindset of feeling good about ourselves, having the confidence to wear whatever we want and embrace it. It’s this perception that helps us to subtly achieve more success without lack of bravery or confidence.

This is also reflected in a carefree attitude to societal trends and what people generally think of us. The plain black socks allows us to hide ourselves into the background of social norms whereas a nicely coloured pair of socks is, in essence, giving two fingers up to the conforming attitudes of many of those around us.

So, if you’re a lover of fun and outlandish socks, then go out into the world and embrace them. Not only will you give people an insight into your nonconforming, unique personality, but they will hold you in good status as a result!

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Featured photo credit: snapwire via pexels.com

Reference

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Jenny Marchal

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

Narcissistic Personality: What Is It and How to Deal with a Narcissist?

Narcissistic Personality: What Is It and How to Deal with a Narcissist?

He asks you for your opinion, but only follows his own advice regardless of what you say.She loves to talk about herself, everything about her is just better than you.  When you try to share anything happy about yourself, she seriously doubts it.

If you know someone who acts like these examples, there’s a chance they might be a narcissist.

What is a narcissistic personality?

Narcissism is a spectrum personality disorder which most of us have.

In popular culture, narcissism is interpreted as a person who’s in love with themselves, more accurately, their idealized selves. Narcissists believe that they are too unique to be understood and that they are so good that they demand for admiration from others.

Psychologist Stephen Johnson writes that,[1]

the narcissist is someone who has buried his true self-expression in response to early injuries and replaced it with a highly developed, compensatory false self.

The Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM) describes narcissistic personality as a personality disorder. It is a spectrum disorder, which means it exists on a continuum ranging from some narcissistic traits to the full-blown personality disorder.[2]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder is not very common, but the truth is, we all have some of the narcissistic traits.

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Traits of a narcissist:

  • They have a deep need for admiration and validation. They think they’re special and too unique to be understood.
  • They feel they are superior to other. They achieve more and know a lot more than you.
  • They do not show their vulnerabilities. They fear what others think of them and they want to remain superior in all situations.
  • They are unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others. They want to be the centre of attention and believe that showing emotions is a sign of weakness.
  • They are skilled manipulators and are emotionally abusive. They know how to make use of their charm to take advantage of others to get what they want.

How are narcissists different from others?

Narcissism expert and the author of Narcissism in a Nutshell, Zari Ballard, tried to answer some common questions asked by non-narcissists about what a narcissist thinks and feels from a narcissist’s perspective.[3]

Do narcissists know they are narcissists and are they happy?

We could really care less about how others feel. We enjoy our so called cold existence. True narcissists don’t want to change. We feel in total control of our lives using this method.

Do narcissists know or understand right from wrong?

Narcissists know the difference between right and wrong because they understand cause and effect. There is no “guilty conscience” giving them a clue and they are displaying the symptom of being “indifferent to social norms” while most likely presenting as ‘cold-hearted.’

Narcissists have a very different thinking mechanism. They see things from a different perspective. Unlike non-narcissists and empaths, they don’t have much sympathy and are reluctant to show emotions to others.

Why do people become narcissists?

1. Narcissism is vulnerability taken to an extreme.

The root of a narcissistic personality is a strong resistance to feeling vulnerable with anyone.[4]

Narcissists refuse to put themselves in a position where they feel vulnerable. They fear that others will take advantage of their weaknesses, so they learn to camouflage their weaknesses by acting strong and powerful. The think showing emotions to others is a sign of weakness, so they learn to hide their emotions and act cold-hearted most of the times.

Narcissists live in a state of anxiety because they are highly aware of their emotions and how others think of them.

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Vulnerability aversion, is the root of a narcissistic personality.

2. A narcissistic personality could be a result of a wounded past.

Narcissists are desperate to seek validation constantly because they either didn’t feel worthwhile and valued in the past, or were being paid too much attention as the most precious and unique one in the world.

Faulty or inadequate parenting, for example a lack of limit setting, is believed to be a major cause, and both permissive and authoritarian styles of parenting have been found to promote narcissistic symptoms.[5]

Both parents who fail to see the worth in a child, and parents who spoil and give excessive praise to the child promote narcissism as the child grows. While the former ones make the child feel inferior of others and want to get more attention, the latter ones encourage an idealized-self in the child.

How to deal with a narcissist?

1. If someone close to you is a narcissist, embrace the differences.

There’re different personality types and not everyone will think and act the same as you do. Instead of trying to change others, learn to accept the differences and strike a balance when you really have to communicate with them.

2. Don’t try to change them, focus on your own needs.

Try to understand that narcissists are resistant to change, it’s more important for you to see who they really are, instead of who you want them to be. Focus on how you feel, and what you want yourself to be.

Embrace the fact that there’re different types of personality and the only thing you can control is your attitude and your own actions.

3. Recognize what they do only comes from their insecurity.

Narcissists are quite vulnerable deep inside, they question others because that’s how they can make themselves feel better.

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When you learn that what a narcissist does to you is nothing personal, but something that comes from their insecurity, you know that sometimes they just need a certain amount of reassurance.

This is especially important if the narcissist is someone you have to closely work with, or if they’re your family member. The right amount of reassurance can calm them down and get the tasks on hand completed.

4. Ask them what would others think instead of what’d others feel.[6]

Narcissists don’t feel guilty, but they care about how others think of them deep in their heart.

Clinical psychologist Al Bernstein explains:

There are just things, like other people’s feelings, that narcissists rarely consider. If you have their ear, don’t tell them how people might react; instead, ask probing questions. Narcissists are much more likely to act on ideas that they think they thought up themselves.

If you have to work with a narcissist closely, focus on the facts and ideas, not the emotions.

5. Let go of the need of getting a narcissist’s approval.

You’re not who a narcissist says you are. Don’t let their blame game undermine your self-esteem, and don’t argue with them just to defend what you believe is right.

There is no point arguing with a narcissist just to prove them wrong because they will not give in proving themselves right. It’s more likely that you’ll get more upset when they disagree with you in an unpleasant way.

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Know your own worth and detach from a narcissist’s opinion on you.

6. If a narcissist is hurting you, stay away from them.

Remember, a healthy relationship is two-sided. It’s about mutual respect and it’s based on give and take. But any kind of relationship with a narcissist is likely to be the contrary, it’s about making the narcissist happy and constantly supporting them. A relationship like this will only weigh you down and is unhealthy for your growth.

7. Set a boundary and always keep it.

If you’re setting a boundary, you have to be willing to keep it. When a narcissist sees that you’re trying to take back control of your life, they will try to test your limits, it’s just their instinct to do it.

Be prepared that your boundary will be challenged. Make your boundary clear, have all the actions needed to be taken in your mind.

For example, if you have decided to stop communicating with them, they will likely to show up in front of you just to talk to you. Be brave enough to keep your boundary, don’t back down and get close to them again; or else they will not take your boundary seriously any more.

8. Learn when to walk away.

When a narcissist starts to make you feel uncomfortable and doubt about yourself, it’s time to pick yourself up and give yourself enough respect to just walk away from them.

If you’re in love with a narcissist, you should seriously think about ending the relationship and move on for a better life. If the narcissist is your family member, you don’t have to be cruel to them, but it’s better to keep distance from them.

Reference

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