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12 Ways To Stop Your Addiction to ‘The Next Thing’

12 Ways To Stop Your Addiction to ‘The Next Thing’

Addiction is one of the most common issues of the average person these days, but few realize they are struggling with it, admit having a problem with something, and rarely anyone takes action to get back on track and take control of their life.

In the age when purchasing a thing from overseas is just one click and talking to another person is one swipe right , aquiring new objects or experiences can be addictive like anything else.

That doesn’t need to be you. You can stop your addition to ‘the next thing’ starting today. And yes, there will always be this next thing if you don’t take a conscious decision to get your life back together and be the one in charge.

So, let’s see what the steps are to overcoming your biggest weakness and to finally live freely and happily:

1. Define where you are in your life right now

Sit down today or tomorrow and start thinking about your current lifestyle and the person you are at this stage.

That may sound like an easy exercise, but truly admitting what you aren’t satisfied with in yourself and around you might be difficult.

Honestly and mindfulness are stepping stones to understanding addiction, and eventually not just overcoming it, but making sure you’ll never get addicted to anything else again.

2. Decide that you want to change, and clearly state why

Clear reasons why you want to do something about your addictive nature will help you out a lot in the future.

The decision you take should happen without letting any outer factor affect it. It’s just you and your mind and soul and you want to free these.

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The ‘whys’ behind your desire to deal with the addiction may be many and different—from finally reaching a goal you’ve always had, to improving your relationship with a loved one or becoming a better version of yourself so that you can meet nice people and form deeper connections.

3. Set realistic goals

Now’s the time to go back to the past for a while and think about previous attempts to deal with getting addicted to something, be it a bad habit, overeating, another person, material objects, or even something so harmful that your life was in danger.

What ways did you try? What in your environment helped you make a change, and which factors only made it worse to do something about it?

Write down all these. Then, set goals that are more realistic this time.

You’ll want to start small and give this transformation time. You don’t want to get overwhelmed and give up too soon.

4. Be present

It’s important to practice mindfulness during the whole process of stopping the addiction to ‘the next thing.’

That’s because once you start doing things unconsciously, you might end up going back to old habits, and triggering bad behaviours or mental patterns you thought you had overcome.

To fight addiction, you should be mindful of what’s going on around you, but also in your head, at any moment of the day. This way you’ll firmly say ‘no’ to negative thoughts and influences, and choose peace and change instead.

5. Optimize your environment

Your environment can make or break the success of your mission.

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Spending time with people who indulge in unhealthy behaviors, for instance, will surely make you weak in the face of temptations and give in easily.

You don’t want that. Instead, either directly tell these people you’re trying to overcome addiction and can’t spend as much time with them anymore, or simply ignore them for a while.

To have the opposite effect, find the ones that are mentally strong, who inspire you, who’ve already fought addiction and now live a happy, fulfilling life.

Just seeing their successful recovery will let you keep hope alive.

What’s more, you’re more likely to take action and stay strong and consistent when you’re around them.

Plus, feedback always comes in handy. Ask them for advice, listen to their words of encouragement, and make sure you don’t repeat their mistakes.

6. Be accountable

Here’s the time to include another person in your journey that will make sure you’re always doing the right thing and not showing any signs of addiction.

It might be a parent, partner, friend, mentor, or even someone you hire for that kind of a job.

Either have daily calls in the beginning, or just keep in touch all the time and share your results, ask for support when you feel weak, etc.

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7. Understand addiction

Do your research and even keep reading about addiction, what causes it, how others have overcome it (meaning success stories on the web of people who are now over that), and how the mind works when it’s addicted to something (and other basic psychology principles).

Understanding something is half the battle.

8. Keep yourself busy

If you have too much time on your hands, and get bored often, your mind will eventually start indulging in old habits again. So engage it in something different and interesting.

Start a new hobby. Learn a new skill. Take up a sport. Begin researching and brainstorming an online business idea.

There are many things you can be doing with your time when you’re not working or doing anything else. Be productive. This will increase your self-esteem too and you’ll feel good about yourself.

9. Prepare for failure

Another useful thing to do in advance is to plan the potential times of the day, or situations in daily life, which might make you do what you’re not supposed to be doing.

Write these down and watch out for them.

10. Enjoy life without addiction

Stop every day for a while to appreciate the clear mind you have now, the change you’re going through that makes you stronger each new day, and the opportunities that lie in store if you keep staying on the right path.

That will encourage you to keep going and will make you happier.

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11. Write it out

Have a journal. Write down anything related to the addiction there, be it one from the past you want to completely overcome, or a potential one you want to stop.

For instance, have the habit of putting pen to paper each morning and saying why today you’ll stay strong. Then, track things throughout the day. And in the evening, review your day, how you did, and what you can do better the next one.

When going back to old journal entries you’ll be able to actually see and feel your progress as every step of the way will be there.

12. Challenge yourself often

Why not make the whole ‘no more addiction’ thing a game? Set milestones, small and realistic ones, give each a deadline, and go accomplish it.

Then, feel good about your achievements, motivated to get even further, and also reward yourself each time you get to the next level.

Even if you haven’t been addicted to anything before, you’re as much likely to experience that in the future as anyone else.

Following the tips above will prevent you from ever losing control over your life, and is a sure way to only move forward and improve yourself and your lifestyle.

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Published on November 2, 2020

How to Use Your Unconscious Mind to Get What You Want

How to Use Your Unconscious Mind to Get What You Want

I get my best ideas when I’m not trying—when I’m zoning out in the shower or taking my dog for a walk. Suddenly, something I’ve been racking my brain to figure out seems to just come to me. It may seem like magic, but it’s actually just my unconscious mind coming through for the win.

What Is Conscious Thought?

Let’s start by explaining what the unconscious mind is not. I want you to think about what your dream house would look like if money were no object. Then, think about where you were the first time you can remember feeling joy.

That voice in your head that was talking you through those two tasks is your conscious mind. Simply put, any thought process that you are aware of (conscious of) is part of your conscious mind. I’m using my conscious mind as I sit here and write this article.

One of the major brain centers for conscious thought is in your prefrontal cortex. This is on the outside of your brain behind your forehead. Some of the downsides of conscious thought are that it’s energetically taxing and finite. What I mean is, your conscious mind can only think one thing at a time, and it burns through a lot of glucose to do so.

Try to figure out the square root of 2400 while creating a grocery list. You can skip back and forth between those two tasks, but your conscious mind can’t wrestle with both simultaneously.

Also, think of a time when you were utilizing your conscious mind for an extended period. Maybe you were in classes all day or busy with a tough work task late into the night. You were probably exhausted after such intensive and extended conscious thought.

What Is the Unconscious Mind?

That’s why the unconscious mind is such a valuable resource. It isn’t energy taxing, and it is virtually limitless. Your unconscious mind could be trying to figure out thousands of problems right now.

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The downside is that you aren’t conscious of any of it until you are—until your unconscious thoughts make it into your consciousness.

That’s why it behooves us to figure out how to create the right environment for our unconscious minds to flourish.

System 1 and System 2 Thinking

Daniel Kahneman’s seminal book Thinking, Fast and Slow gives us another way to think about the difference between the unconscious and conscious minds. Kahneman describes two different modes of thought called System 1 and System 2.

System 1 is quick, emotional, and intuitive, while System 2 is slow, methodical, and logical. System 1 works in tandem with System 2.

For example, if you see someone looking at you, your System 1 might assume they are upset with you. Then, your System 2 takes over to process information and discern what might actually be going on at that moment.

Kahneman warns us that System 1 and System 2 are metaphors for how the mind works.[1] It would be an oversimplification to try to explain specific regions where System 1 and System 2 thinking takes place. However, System 1 and 2 is a powerful way of thinking about different modes of thinking. Kahneman calls System 1 automatic thinking and System 2 effortful.

The idea of focus is key here. In a famous experiment, participants were told to watch a video and count how many times people in the video passed a ball to each other. This required their System 2 thinking. However, the intense focus required for this experiment caused most people to miss the fact that while the people in the video were passing the ball, a person in a gorilla suit slowly made his way through the shot.

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How to Make Your Unconscious Mind Work For You

Focusing too intensely can cause us to miss details and solutions better suited to our unconscious mind. That’s why we sometimes have to stop and chill out, instead of forcing solutions.

Here are five ways to make your unconscious mind work for you.

1. Manage Stress

Your unconscious mind is not a big fan of you being stressed out, overworked, or overwhelmed. Managing stress is important if you want to be able to come up with those effortless “aha!” ideas.

Imagine that you’re under a strict work deadline. Your anxiety is compounded by the fact that you’re worried about losing your job and that your entire family relies on your income. This is an incredible amount of pressure that makes it tough for your unconscious mind to break through with that effortless creativity.

Think back to the video where the person in the gorilla suit sneaks through all the people passing the ball around. Most people are so focused on the task at hand that they don’t see the most interesting part of the video. Stress and pressure can lead to a kind of tunnel vision that works the same way. Our attention becomes so narrowly focused that we aren’t able to zoom out and connect the dots between broader patterns and ideas.

That’s why it’s crucial to find ways to manage stress. I recently spoke with humor engineer Drew Tarvin who explained the 4 R’s of managing stress.[2]

First, try to reduce stress by eliminating stressors from your life. This might mean finding a less stressful job or leaving earlier for work.

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Next, reframe the stresses that you can’t eliminate. Reframing isn’t pretending that your stress doesn’t exist; it’s trying to think differently and change your perspective about stressors that do exist. This might mean looking at the bright side or trying to see the bigger picture. If I don’t want to quit my stressful job, I can try to reframe by thinking more about the money I make or the times I feel fulfilled at work.

The third step is to relieve stress. This means finding ways to relax throughout the day. You might try meditating or watching funny cat videos on YouTube to clear your head and relieve your stress.

Finally, refresh. Find ways to take more extensive breaks where you completely de-stress. Pre-COVID, this might have meant taking a vacation to a beach somewhere. But now, you’ll have to get more creative as you find ways to put your phone down, forget about work, and come back completely refreshed.

2. Take Breaks

Part of stress management is taking breaks. But taking breaks is also an important part of tapping into your unconscious mind.

When I’m trying to figure out how to structure an article or put together ideas for a larger project, I schedule in time to completely put the project down. This allows my unconscious mind the freedom to come up with some truly novel solutions, and unlike conscious thought, it feels effortless.

This is that experience of the light bulb suddenly going on while you’re showering or driving to work. When you aren’t focused on anything in particular, your unconscious mind has the quiet it needs to bubble up to become conscious thought.

So, take breaks. One strategy is what’s called the Pomodoro Technique, which is when you stop to take a five-minute break after every 25 minutes of work. This allows you to recharge. Plus, by systematically easing your intense focus, you are giving your unconscious mind opportunities to come up with some truly novel ideas.

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3. Get Creative

The unconscious mind is great at effortlessly seeing patterns and finding interesting solutions, but for this to happen, it needs some inspiration. That means creating and consuming as much creativity as you can.

Pick up an artistic or creative hobby. Paint, write, build, or dance. It’s also helpful to consume creativity. Go to museums, read poetry, and walk in nature. Taking in creativity with your conscious mind will give your unconscious mind all the inspiration it needs to be able to do its thing.

4. Don’t Force It

The most crucial takeaway about the unconscious mind is that you can’t force it. You can struggle and strain all you want when you’re using your conscious mind, but the unconscious mind can only bubble to the surface when you aren’t trying so hard.

Think back to that phenomenon of having an aha moment while you’re showering or walking your dog. The unconscious mind is better able to break through when you aren’t focused so intensely on whatever it is you’re trying to solve.

So, relax and give yourself some time and space. That’s when your unconscious mind is most likely to breakthrough.

5. Play

Finally, don’t forget about the power of play. Play is inherently fun, and a playful mode of thinking allows your unconscious mind more of a chance to innovate. If you turn your task into a game, you’ll be more relaxed, have more fun, and collaborate better with your colleagues. That means you’ll be more likely to riff and get to a more creative “unconscious mind” solution.

You can also add play throughout your day to tap into this freer, less constrained kind of thinking. Turn your commute into a game, play hide and seek with your children, or join a local bowling league. This will help you get reacquainted with your childlike sense of joy, wonder, and curiosity—all key ingredients to nurturing and fostering your unconscious mind.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with and utilizing your unconscious mind is very different from doing so with your conscious mind. Tapping your unconscious mind is a technique that, when done right, can help you get what you want by untapping your potential.

Featured photo credit: Katerina Jerabkova via unsplash.com

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