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5 Things You Must Do If You’re Moving From Japan To The US

5 Things You Must Do If You’re Moving From Japan To The US

The time comes when you have to live your dreams. When you have to do those things you’ve always thought mattered most to you. While leaving your comfort zone and moving to a location you’ve never lived in is a difficult decision to make, it is the best decision for you if it is necessary for you to live your dreams. In your new location, you will begin a life you’ve never had and meet and relate to people you don’t know.

Sometimes, moving to a new location doesn’t mean that you don’t like your current location or that you’re not productive where you are. It may just be a dream you’ve always had that you must fulfil. Your reasons for wanting to relocate may include exploring the world, sharing the experiences of other people, eating their food, visiting their most beautiful places, or getting a job in a new location that you could never get in your hometown. Whatever reason you have, you can never achieve it if you aren’t determined.

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Moving from Japan to the United States could be one of the worst decisions ever if you aren’t prepared. Some people might make this decision overnight and simply hope for the best. But, if you desire to relocate from Japan to the United States, careful planning is necessary to make the best of your decision and give you the best chance to live your dream life.

These 5 carefully outlined tips will help you make your plans.

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1. Decide You’re Really Moving

Do you really want to move? Every successful journey starts with a single but difficult decision. Sometimes, after the excitement of the moment passes, you may let your plans elude you if you aren’t determined to push through with your decision. A lot of people desire to move from Japan to the United States but have no concrete reason for doing so that will keep them going past the moment of excitement and push them through the long haul. Deciding to move is a personal choice and is different for every person. For someone who is new in his or her job or early in a marriage, this may be a very easy choice to make. However, it would be a very difficult choice for someone who is later in their career path or has a family and more connections to their current location. Whichever condition you are in, moving is never a completely bad decision to make, but in the latter situation, you will need to spend a long time planning and preparing, and only a strong will can push you through.

2. Find Temporary Accommodations

It’s the desire of everyone relocating to the US to find a comfortable place of residence. However, it’s never a good decision to hope to find the best home before you’ve moved to the US, because this may cost you more than you could imagine. However comfortable you are in Japan, keep it in mind that your early life in the US may be entirely different. Lifestyles, houses, and accommodations in the US are entirely different from what you’ve known and what you’ve experienced in Japan or in other locations. It’s best to look for temporary accommodations in the US when you’re just moving in and then look for someplace better when you’re fully settled.

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3. Move Your Luggage

Have you done an international move before? If your answer is yes, then you should know how much time, effort and money these moves demand. There are different means of moving your luggage from Japan to the US, and if you aren’t careful, you may not find the one that is best for you. It’s best to seek as much information as you can and explore all available options before making a choice.

Moving your luggage and/or furniture is one of the toughest things to do, especially when moving abroad. To help this process run smoothly, it’s necessary to make the best choice from among the available moving options. You may require the services of a moving company, but ensure you find the best possible company to hire. It’s important to seek the opinions of those who’ve used the moving service before, or to at least make a smart choice based on your budget, the mover’s price offer, and the company’s level of experience.

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You need to identify an international mover that offers exactly the services you are looking for at a price you can afford. This is entirely your choice, and you have nearly unlimited options depending on the service level you’re looking for.

4. Make Friends

This may be a little difficult, but you have to do it quickly to get along in the US. People from other countries often complain how difficult it is to make friends with Americans, but from my understanding, the difficulty doesn’t come from the Americans but from ourselves. If it’s easy to make friends with people from your native country, what makes the difference? Well, naturally, we like people who share similar characteristics with us, and we feel a lot more comfortable with them and feel a sense of mutual understanding with such people. Still, two things I’ve discovered about people who find it difficult to make friends with Americans are 1. They believe that Americans are entirely different people from themselves, and 2. Their fear of rejection. You must overcome that belief and that fear and build in yourself a higher sense of self-worth and attractiveness.

Yes! Americans are different people, and they speak, behave and relate differently compared to people from other cultures. However, they remain the friendliest people you can find. If you can focus on the similarities you share as humans and make an effort to learn their ways fast, you’ll carry along easily. It is your attitude that will either attract you to any person on earth or repel you from them. On the other hand, focusing on the differences between your way of life and that of the Americans you meet will only repel you from them, and instead of blaming yourself, you may be tempted to blame them. Overcome your fear of rejection, notice more of the similarities between you instead of the differences, learn to believe that you’re special and that anyone would love to be your friend, and be ready to learn new ways of life. This will help you make friends more easily than you could imagine.

5. Live Your Dreams

There’s nothing more to living well than living the life you desired. Live and explore your new location. Those beautiful moments you had in your dreams of being in America, visiting the most beautiful places, having fun and making your life worthwhile- bring them to reality now. The world belongs to you, and you have lots of the best choices to make, so make them and live your life.

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MICHAEL LILY

Writer/entrepreneural development specialist

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

How to Take Control of Your Life with Better Boundaries

We all have them—those hurtful, frustrating, offensive, manipulative people in our lives. No matter how hard we try to surround ourselves with positive and kind people, there will always be those who will disrespect, insult, berate, and misuse you if we allow them to.

We may, for a variety of reasons, not be able to avoid them, but we can determine how we interact with them and how we allow them to interact with us.

So, how to take control of your life and stop being pushed around?

Learning to set clear firm boundaries with the people in our lives at work and in our personal lives is the best way to protect ourselves from the negative effects of this kind of behavior.

What Boundaries Are (And What They’re Not)

Boundaries are limits

—they are not threats or ultimatums. Boundaries inform or teach. They are not a form of punishment.

Boundaries are firm lines—determined by you—which cannot be crossed by those around you. They are guidelines for how you will allow others to treat you and what kind of behaviors you will expect.

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Healthy personal boundaries help protect you from physical or emotional pain. You may also need to set firm boundaries at work to ensure you and your time are not disrespected. Don’t allow others to take advantage of your kindness and generosity.

Clear boundaries communicate to others that you demand respect and consideration—that you are willing to stand up for yourself and that you will not be a doormat for anyone. They are a “no trespassing” sign that makes it very clear when a line has been crossed and that there will be consequences for doing so.

Boundaries are not set with the intention of changing other people. They may change how people interact with you, but they are more about enforcing your needs than attempting to change the general behavior and attitude of others.

How to Establish Boundaries and Take Control of Your Life

Here are some ways that you can establish boundaries and take control of your life.

1. Self-Awareness Comes First

Before you can establish boundaries with others, you first need to understand what your needs are.

You are entitled to respect. You have the right to protect yourself from inappropriate or offensive behavior. Setting boundaries is a way of honoring your needs.

To set appropriate boundaries, you need to be clear about what healthy behaviors look like—what healthy relationships look like.

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You first have to become more aware of your feelings and honest with yourself about your expectations and what you feel is appropriate behavior:

  • Where do you need to establish better boundaries?
  • When do you feel disrespected?
  • When do you feel violated, frustrated, or angered by the behavior of others?
  • In what situations do you feel you are being mistreated or taken advantage of?
  • When do you want to be alone?
  • How much space do you need?

You need to honor your own needs and boundaries before you can expect others to honor them. This allows you to take control of your life.

2. Clear Communication Is Essential

Inform others clearly and directly what your expectations are. It is essential to have clear communication if you want others to respect your boundaries. Explain in an honest and respectful tone what you find offensive or unacceptable.

Many people simply aren’t aware that they are behaving inappropriately. They may never have been taught proper manners or consideration for others.

3. Be Specific but Don’t Blame

Taking a blaming or punishing attitude automatically puts people on the defensive. People will not listen when they feel attacked. It’s part of human nature.

That said, you do not need to overexplain or defend yourself. Boundaries are not open to compromise.

Sample language:

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  • “You may not…yell or raise your voice to me…”
  • “I need…to be treated with respect…”
  • “It’s not okay when…you take things from my desk without asking…”
  • “I won’t…do your work…cover for you anymore…”
  • “It’s not acceptable when…you ridicule or insult me…”
  • “I am uncomfortable when…you use offensive language”
  • “I will no longer be able to…lend you money…”

Being able to communicate these without sounding accusatory is essential if you want others to respect your boundaries so you can take control of your life.

4. Consequences Are Often Necessary

Determine what the appropriate consequences will be when boundaries are crossed. If it’s appropriate, be clear about those consequences upfront when communicating those boundaries to others.

Follow through. People won’t respect your boundaries if you don’t enforce them.

Standing our ground and forcing consequences doesn’t come easily to us. We want to be nice. We want people to like us, but we shouldn’t have to trade our self-respect to gain friends or to achieve success.

We may be tempted to let minor disrespect slide to avoid conflict, but as the familiar saying goes, “if you give people an inch, they’ll take a mile.”

It’s much easier to address offensive or inappropriate behavior now than to wait until that behavior has gotten completely out of hand.

It’s also important to remember that positive reinforcement is even more powerful than negative consequences. When people do alter the way they treat you, acknowledge it. Let people know that you notice and appreciate their efforts.

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Final Thoughts

Respect is always a valid reason for setting a boundary. Don’t defend yourself or your needs. Boundaries are often necessary to protect your time, your space, and your feelings. And these are essential if you want to take control of your life.

Start with the easiest boundaries first. Setting boundaries is a skill that needs to be practiced. Enlist support from others if necessary. Inform people immediately when they have crossed the line.

Don’t wait. Communicate politely and directly. Be clear about the consequences and follow them through.

The better you become at setting your own boundaries, the better you become at recognizing and respecting the boundaries of others.

Remember that establishing boundaries is your right. You are entitled to respect. You can’t control how other people behave, but you do have control over the way you allow people to treat you.

Learning to set boundaries is not always easy, but with time, it will become more comfortable. You may eventually find that boundaries become automatic and you no longer need to consciously set them.

They will simply become a natural extension of your self-respect.

Featured photo credit: Thomas Kelley via unsplash.com

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