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If Your Friends Have Lived With All Your Best Stories, Never Let Them Go

If Your Friends Have Lived With All Your Best Stories, Never Let Them Go

True friends are some of life’s treasures. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that there will always be one person we can count on, no matter what. Our closest friends know everything about our lives, including the best stories. Why? Because they have shared all of those moments with us.

Sometimes, however, our friendships grow apart as we get older. Life gets complicated and we run out of time for staying in touch. Losing our friends over time is often a harsh fact of life, but it doesn’t have to be. You should try to hold on to your best friends, to the ones who know all your stories. You have shared so much together, you never want to miss out on that kind of relationship. These are the people who know the real you.

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“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

Truer words have never been spoken. Think about you and your closest friend. The two of you know all about each other, every embarrassing detail and every last weakness. And despite this, or maybe because of it, you still love each other.

In fact, the two of you know each other so well that you have your own secret language. This is actually pretty common. As best friends, you have spent years building your relationship and it shows in your communication with each other. All of your inside jokes and references to the past can actually make it difficult for outsiders to understand you and participate in the conversation. Sharing a secret form of communication is what will make your friendship last through all of life’s changes.[1]

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“Many people will walk in and out of your life but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

By the time you reach adulthood and become a woman, you’ll have all kinds of opportunities to meet new people. And a lot of those new people will become your friends. You’ll meet up for drinks after work, you’ll get together with other women your age for brunch, and you’ll share popcorn at the movies.

But the brutal truth is, sharing a few experiences together does not make you best friends. These people will come and go throughout your adulthood, so don’t be so quick to call them your best friends. As Amy Chan says, “You don’t know someone until you’ve experienced enough of life’s ups and downs with them.”[2] Your best friends are the ones you’ve shared your life with. Those are the people that you want to stay around for the future.

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“Friends are the family you choose.” ~ Jess C. Scott

You are stuck with your family. You don’t get to choose your parents or your siblings and, if you have them, you don’t get to choose your children. But you do get to choose your friends. Friendships are special relationships that can bring us happiness when we need it most, but as we approach adulthood, we tend to place more priority on our family and romantic partners, with our friendships taking a back burner.

But don’t forget about those friends. Make sure they always have a special place in your heart and that you make some effort to keep in touch and show you care, no matter how crazy your schedule gets. Choosing to have a personal relationship with our friends is the very thing that makes friendship so flexible and unique.[3] This is why close friendships are able to withstand the test of time, even as they take less priority through adulthood.

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Your best friends are some of the most important relationships you’ll have in life. Never let go of the ones who know all your stories and have shared all of your favorite memories. You might lose touch now, but when you’re older, you’ll look to them for comfort and happiness once again.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via pexels.com

Reference

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

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When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

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3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

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5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

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7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

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Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

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