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If Your Friends Have Lived With All Your Best Stories, Never Let Them Go

If Your Friends Have Lived With All Your Best Stories, Never Let Them Go

True friends are some of life’s treasures. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that there will always be one person we can count on, no matter what. Our closest friends know everything about our lives, including the best stories. Why? Because they have shared all of those moments with us.

Sometimes, however, our friendships grow apart as we get older. Life gets complicated and we run out of time for staying in touch. Losing our friends over time is often a harsh fact of life, but it doesn’t have to be. You should try to hold on to your best friends, to the ones who know all your stories. You have shared so much together, you never want to miss out on that kind of relationship. These are the people who know the real you.

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“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

Truer words have never been spoken. Think about you and your closest friend. The two of you know all about each other, every embarrassing detail and every last weakness. And despite this, or maybe because of it, you still love each other.

In fact, the two of you know each other so well that you have your own secret language. This is actually pretty common. As best friends, you have spent years building your relationship and it shows in your communication with each other. All of your inside jokes and references to the past can actually make it difficult for outsiders to understand you and participate in the conversation. Sharing a secret form of communication is what will make your friendship last through all of life’s changes.[1]

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“Many people will walk in and out of your life but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

By the time you reach adulthood and become a woman, you’ll have all kinds of opportunities to meet new people. And a lot of those new people will become your friends. You’ll meet up for drinks after work, you’ll get together with other women your age for brunch, and you’ll share popcorn at the movies.

But the brutal truth is, sharing a few experiences together does not make you best friends. These people will come and go throughout your adulthood, so don’t be so quick to call them your best friends. As Amy Chan says, “You don’t know someone until you’ve experienced enough of life’s ups and downs with them.”[2] Your best friends are the ones you’ve shared your life with. Those are the people that you want to stay around for the future.

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“Friends are the family you choose.” ~ Jess C. Scott

You are stuck with your family. You don’t get to choose your parents or your siblings and, if you have them, you don’t get to choose your children. But you do get to choose your friends. Friendships are special relationships that can bring us happiness when we need it most, but as we approach adulthood, we tend to place more priority on our family and romantic partners, with our friendships taking a back burner.

But don’t forget about those friends. Make sure they always have a special place in your heart and that you make some effort to keep in touch and show you care, no matter how crazy your schedule gets. Choosing to have a personal relationship with our friends is the very thing that makes friendship so flexible and unique.[3] This is why close friendships are able to withstand the test of time, even as they take less priority through adulthood.

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Your best friends are some of the most important relationships you’ll have in life. Never let go of the ones who know all your stories and have shared all of your favorite memories. You might lose touch now, but when you’re older, you’ll look to them for comfort and happiness once again.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via pexels.com

Reference

More by this author

Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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