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If Your Friends Have Lived With All Your Best Stories, Never Let Them Go

If Your Friends Have Lived With All Your Best Stories, Never Let Them Go

True friends are some of life’s treasures. It’s a wonderful feeling to know that there will always be one person we can count on, no matter what. Our closest friends know everything about our lives, including the best stories. Why? Because they have shared all of those moments with us.

Sometimes, however, our friendships grow apart as we get older. Life gets complicated and we run out of time for staying in touch. Losing our friends over time is often a harsh fact of life, but it doesn’t have to be. You should try to hold on to your best friends, to the ones who know all your stories. You have shared so much together, you never want to miss out on that kind of relationship. These are the people who know the real you.

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“A friend is someone who knows all about you and still loves you.” ~ Elbert Hubbard

Truer words have never been spoken. Think about you and your closest friend. The two of you know all about each other, every embarrassing detail and every last weakness. And despite this, or maybe because of it, you still love each other.

In fact, the two of you know each other so well that you have your own secret language. This is actually pretty common. As best friends, you have spent years building your relationship and it shows in your communication with each other. All of your inside jokes and references to the past can actually make it difficult for outsiders to understand you and participate in the conversation. Sharing a secret form of communication is what will make your friendship last through all of life’s changes.[1]

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“Many people will walk in and out of your life but only true friends leave footprints in your heart.” ~ Eleanor Roosevelt

By the time you reach adulthood and become a woman, you’ll have all kinds of opportunities to meet new people. And a lot of those new people will become your friends. You’ll meet up for drinks after work, you’ll get together with other women your age for brunch, and you’ll share popcorn at the movies.

But the brutal truth is, sharing a few experiences together does not make you best friends. These people will come and go throughout your adulthood, so don’t be so quick to call them your best friends. As Amy Chan says, “You don’t know someone until you’ve experienced enough of life’s ups and downs with them.”[2] Your best friends are the ones you’ve shared your life with. Those are the people that you want to stay around for the future.

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“Friends are the family you choose.” ~ Jess C. Scott

You are stuck with your family. You don’t get to choose your parents or your siblings and, if you have them, you don’t get to choose your children. But you do get to choose your friends. Friendships are special relationships that can bring us happiness when we need it most, but as we approach adulthood, we tend to place more priority on our family and romantic partners, with our friendships taking a back burner.

But don’t forget about those friends. Make sure they always have a special place in your heart and that you make some effort to keep in touch and show you care, no matter how crazy your schedule gets. Choosing to have a personal relationship with our friends is the very thing that makes friendship so flexible and unique.[3] This is why close friendships are able to withstand the test of time, even as they take less priority through adulthood.

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Your best friends are some of the most important relationships you’ll have in life. Never let go of the ones who know all your stories and have shared all of your favorite memories. You might lose touch now, but when you’re older, you’ll look to them for comfort and happiness once again.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via pexels.com

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Amber Pariona

EFL Teacher, Lifehack Writer, English/Spanish Translator, MPA

What Makes a Relationship Boring and How to Avoid It How to Know If You’re Really in Love or Not (Yes It Can Be Confusing) Why You and Your Partner Don’t Need to Speak the Same Love Language to Stay Together Why Worrying About Losing a Friend Is Unnecessary No.1 Relationship Killer: Your Good Intention to Advise Your Partner When They’re Upset

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

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Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

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To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

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By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

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7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

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