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8 Actionable Tips on Dealing with Divorce

8 Actionable Tips on Dealing with Divorce

Making the decision to go for a divorce isn’t an easy task. It impacts all parties involved negatively. However, alternatives aren’t always available. Once a couple have determined that their marriage has to end, it is crucial to make the entire process as painless as possible. In some cases, however, the divorce process makes couples stay at odds with each other.

As resentment and anger build, it becomes easy for emotions to override reason and logic. People involved in an antagonistic divorce usually attempt to make life as difficult as possible for their spouse, and they eventually hurt themselves. Luckily, all of this can be avoided. Here are easy-to-follow ways to simplify your divorce.

1. Use Divorce Mediation

Besides being a very stressful endeavor, engaging in a divorce can be very expensive. Many times, people are forced to use their savings to cover legal bills. Undergoing a separation is difficult enough without having to add financial crisis into the mix. However, collaborative divorces usually involve fewer legal battles, and they are less expensive as a result. A collaborative divorce, on average, will cost about a third of what conventional divorces will, according to one survey.

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If at all possible, try to work out a divorce plan with your spouse. If flat rate divorce mediation services are at all a possibility, use them. Countless hours and dollars can be tied up in legal wrangling over the smallest details. Even with children – or a business – agreements can be reached, saving quite a bit of money. And that’s money to start your new life with!

2. Devote the Required Time to the Process

Going through a divorce process is like working at two jobs. You may even spend enormous amounts of energy meeting with professionals, gathering documents, separating your stuff and figuring out your finances. You will have to work to ensure your children are okay and that their transition into a different life goes smoothly.

If you are aware of this from the start, and you discover a way to devote time and energy to the divorce (the amount it requires), everything will go more smoothly. The opposite happens if you are angry about everything relating to your divorce and you always drag your heels instead of doing what is required to move on from the divorce.

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Have your lawyer approve your letter explaining your rationale for divorce before taking any action. When you are the one who files for divorce, there is usually much guilt associated with such a decision. Most people want to discuss or explain the reason for their decision to their spouse, and they often put their feelings in a letter. That is a decent thing to do if it originates from the appropriate place. The issue here, however, is that writing these kinds of letters tends to make you take more responsibility for the breakup in a bid to soften the blow.

3. Reduce the Time Required

Going through the divorce process can take many years. Time is required to settle all disagreements and have the case closed. This, in turn, makes it more difficult for parties to move on with their lives. A collaborative approach should be adopted, as this type of divorce focuses on solving disputes outside the courtroom if possible.

Rather than seeing each other as enemies, the involved parties in a collaborative divorce work to complete the process peacefully. These kinds of divorces usually take a few months to finalize.

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4. Open a New Bank Account in Your Name

This part is for couples who use a joint account. Such individuals should know that one of them can clear out the entire account based on banking laws. The person who took the money may have to pay their spouse his or her share eventually, but it could take a long time to get to that point in cases where the judge orders repayment.

That is why everyone is advised to own a separate bank account in his or her own name, even if it has to be a secret. Chances are that if the account is kept secret, you may even need it more than you realize.

5. Reduce Stress

Due to the fact that bitter emotions are often associated with divorce processes, many people walk away and/or never speak to their former spouse again. This can turn the situation into something emotionally painful, especially if there are children involved. However, working to end your divorce peacefully may make it possible to avoid this issue and reduce the kind of emotional trauma your children will experience.

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6. It’s an Excellent Idea to Seek a Second Opinion

If there are concerns about the kind of advice you are receiving, don’t be afraid to ask for another individual’s opinion. A good attorney will be happy to see you seeking an alternative opinion and will accept good suggestions your respected friend or colleague might have.

You have just one chance to handle a divorce well, and you have a right to have confidence in any advice you are receiving. If the second opinion suggests that your case is being handled well, the reassurance will definitely be worth the consultation for the second opinion

7. Take Note of the Timing of Your Offer

Cases will not be settled until both parties are willing to leave the marriage. Thus, the timing of your divorce offer may be as vital as the content. Don’t make the offer too early, especially if the other party is not ready to receive it. Failure to do so will mean you will be betting against yourself.

8. The Bottom Line

No matter how frustrated you get, when going through a divorce, you can benefit from taking few minutes to set your emotions aside and see whether a collaborative divorce will decrease the stress of your separation. Working together may mean making compromises (something both individuals may not be pleased with), but in the majority of these cases, this option is less harmful to both parties than approaching the divorce as if it were a war.

Featured photo credit: DW Law Firm via davidkontos.com

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Yasmin Rasidi

Copy Writer at Swotfish

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Last Updated on November 19, 2019

20 Time Management Tips to Super Boost Your Productivity

20 Time Management Tips to Super Boost Your Productivity

Are you usually punctual or late? Do you finish things within the time you stipulate? Do you hand in your reports/work on time? Are you able to accomplish what you want to do before deadlines? Are you a good time manager?

If your answer is “no” to any of the questions above, that means you’re not managing your time as well as you want. Here are 20 time management tips to help you manage time better:

1. Create a Daily Plan

Plan your day before it unfolds. Do it in the morning or even better, the night before you sleep. The plan gives you a good overview of how the day will pan out. That way, you don’t get caught off guard. Your job for the day is to stick to the plan as best as possible.

2. Peg a Time Limit to Each Task

Be clear that you need to finish X task by 10am, Y task by 3pm, and Z item by 5:30pm. This prevents your work from dragging on and eating into time reserved for other activities.

3. Use a Calendar

Having a calendar is the most fundamental step to managing your daily activities. If you use outlook or lotus notes, calendar come as part of your mailing software.

I use it. It’s even better if you can sync your calendar to your mobile phone and other hardwares you use – that way, you can access your schedule no matter where you are. Here’re the 10 Best Calendar Apps to Stay on Track .

Find out more tips about how to use calendar for better time management here: How to Use a Calendar to Create Time and Space

4. Use an Organizer

An organizer helps you to be on top of everything in your life. It’s your central tool to organize information, to-do lists, projects, and other miscellaneous items.

These Top 15 Time Management Apps and Tools can help you organize better, pick one that fits your needs.

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5. Know Your Deadlines

When do you need to finish your tasks? Mark the deadlines out clearly in your calendar and organizer so you know when you need to finish them.

But make sure you don’t make these 10 Common Mistakes When Setting Deadlines.

6. Learn to Say “No”

Don’t take on more than you can handle. For the distractions that come in when you’re doing other things, give a firm no. Or defer it to a later period.

Leo Babauta, the founder of Zen Habits has some great insights on how to say no: The Gentle Art of Saying No

7. Target to Be Early

When you target to be on time, you’ll either be on time or late. Most of the times you’ll be late. However, if you target to be early, you’ll most likely be on time.

For appointments, strive to be early. For your deadlines, submit them earlier than required.

Learn from these tips about how to prepare yourself to be early, instead of just in time.

8. Time Box Your Activities

This means restricting your work to X amount of time. Why time boxing is good for you? Here’re 10 reasons why you should start time-boxing.

You can also read more about how to do time boxing here: #5 of 13 Strategies To Jumpstart Your Productivity.

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9. Have a Clock Visibly Placed Before You

Sometimes we are so engrossed in our work that we lose track of time. Having a huge clock in front of you will keep you aware of the time at the moment.

10. Set Reminders 15 Minutes Before

Most calendars have a reminder function. If you have an important meeting to attend, set that alarm 15 minutes before.

You can learn more about how reminders help you remember everything in this article: The Importance of Reminders (And How to Make a Reminder That Works)

11. Focus

Are you multi-tasking so much that you’re just not getting anything done? If so, focus on just one key task at one time. Multitasking is bad for you.

Close off all the applications you aren’t using. Close off the tabs in your browser that are taking away your attention. Focus solely on what you’re doing. You’ll be more efficient that way.

Lifehack’s CEO has written a definitive guide on how to focus, learn the tips: How to Focus and Maximize Your Productivity (the Definitive Guide)

12. Block out Distractions

What’s distracting you in your work? Instant messages? Phone ringing? Text messages popping in?

I hardly ever use chat nowadays. The only times when I log on is when I’m not intending to do any work. Otherwise it gets very distracting.

When I’m doing important work, I also switch off my phone. Calls during this time are recorded and I contact them afterward if it’s something important. This helps me concentrate better.

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Find more tips on how to minimize distractions to achieve more in How to Minimize Distraction to Get Things Done

13. Track Your Time Spent

When you start to track your time, you’re more aware of how you spend your time. For example, you can set a simple countdown timer to make sure that you finish a task within a period of time, say 30 minutes or 1 hour. The time pressure can push you to stay focused and work more efficiently.

You can find more time tracking apps here and pick one that works for you.

14. Don’t Fuss About Unimportant Details

You’re never get everything done in exactly the way you want. Trying to do so is being ineffective.

Trying to be perfect does you more harm than good, learn here about how perfectionism kills your productivity and how to ditch the perfectionism mindset.

15. Prioritize

Since you can’t do everything, learn to prioritize the important and let go of the rest.

Apply the 80/20 principle which is a key principle in prioritization. You can also take up this technique to prioritize everything on your plate: How to Prioritize Right in 10 Minutes and Work 10X Faster

16. Delegate

If there are things that can be better done by others or things that are not so important, consider delegating. This takes a load off and you can focus on the important tasks.

When you delegate some of your work, you free up your time and achieve more. Learn about how to effectively delegate works in this guide: How to Delegate Work (the Definitive Guide for Successful Leaders)

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17. Batch Similar Tasks Together

For related work, batch them together.

For example, my work can be categorized into these core groups:

  1. writing (articles, my upcoming book)
  2. coaching
  3. workshop development
  4. business development
  5. administrative

I batch all the related tasks together so there’s synergy. If I need to make calls, I allocate a time slot to make all my calls. It really streamlines the process.

18. Eliminate Your Time Wasters

What takes your time away your work? Facebook? Twitter? Email checking? Stop checking them so often.

One thing you can do is make it hard to check them – remove them from your browser quick links / bookmarks and stuff them in a hard to access bookmarks folder. Replace your browser bookmarks with important work-related sites.

While you’ll still checking FB/Twitter no doubt, you’ll find it’s a lower frequency than before.

19. Cut off When You Need To

The number one reason why things overrun is because you don’t cut off when you have to.

Don’t be afraid to intercept in meetings or draw a line to cut-off. Otherwise, there’s never going to be an end and you’ll just eat into the time for later.

20. Leave Buffer Time In-Between

Don’t pack everything closely together. Leave a 5-10 minute buffer time in between each tasks. This helps you wrap up the previous task and start off on the next one.

More Time Management Techniques

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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