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8 Actionable Tips on Dealing with Divorce

8 Actionable Tips on Dealing with Divorce

Making the decision to go for a divorce isn’t an easy task. It impacts all parties involved negatively. However, alternatives aren’t always available. Once a couple have determined that their marriage has to end, it is crucial to make the entire process as painless as possible. In some cases, however, the divorce process makes couples stay at odds with each other.

As resentment and anger build, it becomes easy for emotions to override reason and logic. People involved in an antagonistic divorce usually attempt to make life as difficult as possible for their spouse, and they eventually hurt themselves. Luckily, all of this can be avoided. Here are easy-to-follow ways to simplify your divorce.

1. Use Divorce Mediation

Besides being a very stressful endeavor, engaging in a divorce can be very expensive. Many times, people are forced to use their savings to cover legal bills. Undergoing a separation is difficult enough without having to add financial crisis into the mix. However, collaborative divorces usually involve fewer legal battles, and they are less expensive as a result. A collaborative divorce, on average, will cost about a third of what conventional divorces will, according to one survey.

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If at all possible, try to work out a divorce plan with your spouse. If flat rate divorce mediation services are at all a possibility, use them. Countless hours and dollars can be tied up in legal wrangling over the smallest details. Even with children – or a business – agreements can be reached, saving quite a bit of money. And that’s money to start your new life with!

2. Devote the Required Time to the Process

Going through a divorce process is like working at two jobs. You may even spend enormous amounts of energy meeting with professionals, gathering documents, separating your stuff and figuring out your finances. You will have to work to ensure your children are okay and that their transition into a different life goes smoothly.

If you are aware of this from the start, and you discover a way to devote time and energy to the divorce (the amount it requires), everything will go more smoothly. The opposite happens if you are angry about everything relating to your divorce and you always drag your heels instead of doing what is required to move on from the divorce.

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Have your lawyer approve your letter explaining your rationale for divorce before taking any action. When you are the one who files for divorce, there is usually much guilt associated with such a decision. Most people want to discuss or explain the reason for their decision to their spouse, and they often put their feelings in a letter. That is a decent thing to do if it originates from the appropriate place. The issue here, however, is that writing these kinds of letters tends to make you take more responsibility for the breakup in a bid to soften the blow.

3. Reduce the Time Required

Going through the divorce process can take many years. Time is required to settle all disagreements and have the case closed. This, in turn, makes it more difficult for parties to move on with their lives. A collaborative approach should be adopted, as this type of divorce focuses on solving disputes outside the courtroom if possible.

Rather than seeing each other as enemies, the involved parties in a collaborative divorce work to complete the process peacefully. These kinds of divorces usually take a few months to finalize.

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4. Open a New Bank Account in Your Name

This part is for couples who use a joint account. Such individuals should know that one of them can clear out the entire account based on banking laws. The person who took the money may have to pay their spouse his or her share eventually, but it could take a long time to get to that point in cases where the judge orders repayment.

That is why everyone is advised to own a separate bank account in his or her own name, even if it has to be a secret. Chances are that if the account is kept secret, you may even need it more than you realize.

5. Reduce Stress

Due to the fact that bitter emotions are often associated with divorce processes, many people walk away and/or never speak to their former spouse again. This can turn the situation into something emotionally painful, especially if there are children involved. However, working to end your divorce peacefully may make it possible to avoid this issue and reduce the kind of emotional trauma your children will experience.

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6. It’s an Excellent Idea to Seek a Second Opinion

If there are concerns about the kind of advice you are receiving, don’t be afraid to ask for another individual’s opinion. A good attorney will be happy to see you seeking an alternative opinion and will accept good suggestions your respected friend or colleague might have.

You have just one chance to handle a divorce well, and you have a right to have confidence in any advice you are receiving. If the second opinion suggests that your case is being handled well, the reassurance will definitely be worth the consultation for the second opinion

7. Take Note of the Timing of Your Offer

Cases will not be settled until both parties are willing to leave the marriage. Thus, the timing of your divorce offer may be as vital as the content. Don’t make the offer too early, especially if the other party is not ready to receive it. Failure to do so will mean you will be betting against yourself.

8. The Bottom Line

No matter how frustrated you get, when going through a divorce, you can benefit from taking few minutes to set your emotions aside and see whether a collaborative divorce will decrease the stress of your separation. Working together may mean making compromises (something both individuals may not be pleased with), but in the majority of these cases, this option is less harmful to both parties than approaching the divorce as if it were a war.

Featured photo credit: DW Law Firm via davidkontos.com

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Yasmin Rasidi

Copy Writer at Swotfish

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Last Updated on May 22, 2019

10 Simple Morning Exercises That Will Make You Feel Great All Day

10 Simple Morning Exercises That Will Make You Feel Great All Day

There are lots of studies that show if you do some exercise in the morning, you will be in a better mood all day long. You will have more energy and you will certainly be a better colleague, friend or partner.

One psychologist at Duke University has researched the effects of exercise on depressed patients and he has come to the conclusion that exercise has a definite role in treating this condition and has an important role in preventing people from relapsing.[1] According to the New York Times, scientists have now established that exercise also boosts your brain power.[2]

In addition, there are studies from the Appalachian State University which show that blood pressure can be reduced by doing regular morning exercise.[3]

Here are 10 simple morning exercises that will help you feel great the whole day long. You can include some of them in your morning exercise routine or do them all at home without having to enrol in a gym. Consult your doctor before starting any form of exercise routine if you are new to this.

1. Cat Camel Stretch

Stretching exercises are useful for muscle toning and also preventing arthritis. They can either be dynamic or static.

Dynamic ones such as the cat camel stretch, are particularly useful for doing other exercises in the morning. They are also beneficial at other times of the day, especially after long periods of sedentary work. This one is great for spinal flexibility and is a good warm up exercise.

Kneel down on all fours. Start by rounding your back just like a camel so that your head will try to meet your pelvis. This is the camel position. Then lower and lift your head so that your lower back is arched. This is the cat position. Do these movements slowly and smoothly. About 4 or 5 times.

Here’s a video to guide you through:

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2. Go for a Walk or a Run

This is better done outside so that you can connect with nature but running inside on a treadmill is almost as good. You can time yourself and increase length and time according to your fitness program.

Always have new goals to reach. Start with brisk walking and work up to running. At my age, I am still walking!

The health benefits are considerable. You can build stronger bones and you can help to maintain your weight.

Also, you are helping your heart to stay healthy and keeping your blood pressure low.

Learn more about the benefits of running here: 8 Benefits of Running 5 Minutes Every Day You Didn’t Know

3. Jumping Jacks

Michelle Obama is a great fan of this exercise and has become “Jumper in Chief.”[4] They are great for cardiovascular health and also for toning muscles especially the calves and the deltoids.

Stand with feet together. Jump while spreading your arms and legs. Return to first position and keep going! You can start with doing these for 1 minute and then gradually build up to the number you are comfortable with. Here’s how:

4. Abductor Side Lifts

Watch the video below to see how to do this exercise. These muscles are important because you use them everyday to run, get into the car or onto and off a bicycle. They are very important also for your core stability and prevent the pelvis from tilting.[5]

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Do about 10 to 15 raises for each side like this:

5. Balancing Table Pose

This is a classic yoga pose. It benefits the spine, balance, memory and concentration.

Start with the table pose (hands and knees). Breathe in before starting each movement. As you exhale, raise your left leg parallel to the floor as you raise the right arm, also parallel to the floor. Breathe in as you lower arm and leg. Repeat for the other side. 10 repetitions on each side is a good starting point.

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    6. Leg Squats

    Not just legs are involved but also hips and knees.

    Stand with your feet a bit further out from your hips. Arms are out in front of you. Then lower yourself as if you wanted to sit down until you reach a 90 degree angle. You can go down further if you want to. Then return to the starting position. Repeat 15 times for 2 sets for beginners.

    The benefits are that these exercises help with knee stability and can benefit the leg muscles such as quadriceps, hamstrings and calves.[6]

    7. Push Ups

    You start lying down (face down) but with your body held up at arm’s length. Your hands should be in line with your shoulders. Breathe in as you lower your body. That is fairly easy. Now, as you exhale, you have to get back up to the starting position.

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    An easier version to start with is to bend your legs at the knees so you do not have to lift your whole body.

    Beginners may take up to a month to be able to do 100 push ups so you will have to start with a very small number and gradually increase it.

    This exercise is great for strengthening the chest, shoulders and the triceps. It is a great strengthening exercise for many muscle groups. In fact, most muscles from the toes to the shoulders are being used.

    8. Bicycle Crunches

    There are numerous crunch exercises targeting the abs. The bicycle crunch is a variation where you work more muscle groups. Aim for 15 to 20 reps to start off with.

    Watch the video to see how this is done correctly:

    9. Lunges

    Stand with feet shoulder width apart. Place your hand on your hips. Take one giant step forward with the right leg. Make sure the knee does not go too far forward, that is, past your toes. The left knee will go down to almost floor level. Alternate the legs as you go on.

    Try to do a set of between 8 and 12 reps for each leg. It is important to allow for a day of rest, so this exercise should be done on alternate days, especially if you are using weights.

    This exercise is great for strengthening and toning the quadriceps, glutes and hamstrings.

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    10. Bicep Curls

    You can do this sitting down so if you spend a lot of time on the phone, this is a great exercise to do.

    Choose suitable dumbbells or another household object that you can easily hold. Sit down with the dumbbell in your hand. You need to sit forward a bit so that your triceps can lean on your thigh to give you support.

    Then bring the weighted arm up to shoulder length and then down again. Exhale as you lift the weight and inhale as you lower it.

    Here’re some important notes before you start doing this exercise:

    Try to do one or two sets of about ten repetitions for each arm and then switch arms.

    These exercises are really useful for toning the arm muscles.[7] In addition, they can strengthen and tone the brachioradialis muscle located in the forearm. These are the muscles we use to pick up things when we flex the arm at the elbow so we use these muscles countless times a day.

    You may have to build in a rest day for the heavier exercises, numbers 6–10. On the rest days, you can do gentler stretching exercises and also some walking or running.

    Morning exercise is not only a great mood booster, but will help you keep your weight down and also sleep better![8] Start including one or some of these exercises in your morning routine!

    More Articles About Exercises for Beginners

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

    Reference

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