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8 Actionable Tips on Dealing with Divorce

8 Actionable Tips on Dealing with Divorce

Making the decision to go for a divorce isn’t an easy task. It impacts all parties involved negatively. However, alternatives aren’t always available. Once a couple have determined that their marriage has to end, it is crucial to make the entire process as painless as possible. In some cases, however, the divorce process makes couples stay at odds with each other.

As resentment and anger build, it becomes easy for emotions to override reason and logic. People involved in an antagonistic divorce usually attempt to make life as difficult as possible for their spouse, and they eventually hurt themselves. Luckily, all of this can be avoided. Here are easy-to-follow ways to simplify your divorce.

1. Use Divorce Mediation

Besides being a very stressful endeavor, engaging in a divorce can be very expensive. Many times, people are forced to use their savings to cover legal bills. Undergoing a separation is difficult enough without having to add financial crisis into the mix. However, collaborative divorces usually involve fewer legal battles, and they are less expensive as a result. A collaborative divorce, on average, will cost about a third of what conventional divorces will, according to one survey.

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If at all possible, try to work out a divorce plan with your spouse. If flat rate divorce mediation services are at all a possibility, use them. Countless hours and dollars can be tied up in legal wrangling over the smallest details. Even with children – or a business – agreements can be reached, saving quite a bit of money. And that’s money to start your new life with!

2. Devote the Required Time to the Process

Going through a divorce process is like working at two jobs. You may even spend enormous amounts of energy meeting with professionals, gathering documents, separating your stuff and figuring out your finances. You will have to work to ensure your children are okay and that their transition into a different life goes smoothly.

If you are aware of this from the start, and you discover a way to devote time and energy to the divorce (the amount it requires), everything will go more smoothly. The opposite happens if you are angry about everything relating to your divorce and you always drag your heels instead of doing what is required to move on from the divorce.

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Have your lawyer approve your letter explaining your rationale for divorce before taking any action. When you are the one who files for divorce, there is usually much guilt associated with such a decision. Most people want to discuss or explain the reason for their decision to their spouse, and they often put their feelings in a letter. That is a decent thing to do if it originates from the appropriate place. The issue here, however, is that writing these kinds of letters tends to make you take more responsibility for the breakup in a bid to soften the blow.

3. Reduce the Time Required

Going through the divorce process can take many years. Time is required to settle all disagreements and have the case closed. This, in turn, makes it more difficult for parties to move on with their lives. A collaborative approach should be adopted, as this type of divorce focuses on solving disputes outside the courtroom if possible.

Rather than seeing each other as enemies, the involved parties in a collaborative divorce work to complete the process peacefully. These kinds of divorces usually take a few months to finalize.

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4. Open a New Bank Account in Your Name

This part is for couples who use a joint account. Such individuals should know that one of them can clear out the entire account based on banking laws. The person who took the money may have to pay their spouse his or her share eventually, but it could take a long time to get to that point in cases where the judge orders repayment.

That is why everyone is advised to own a separate bank account in his or her own name, even if it has to be a secret. Chances are that if the account is kept secret, you may even need it more than you realize.

5. Reduce Stress

Due to the fact that bitter emotions are often associated with divorce processes, many people walk away and/or never speak to their former spouse again. This can turn the situation into something emotionally painful, especially if there are children involved. However, working to end your divorce peacefully may make it possible to avoid this issue and reduce the kind of emotional trauma your children will experience.

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6. It’s an Excellent Idea to Seek a Second Opinion

If there are concerns about the kind of advice you are receiving, don’t be afraid to ask for another individual’s opinion. A good attorney will be happy to see you seeking an alternative opinion and will accept good suggestions your respected friend or colleague might have.

You have just one chance to handle a divorce well, and you have a right to have confidence in any advice you are receiving. If the second opinion suggests that your case is being handled well, the reassurance will definitely be worth the consultation for the second opinion

7. Take Note of the Timing of Your Offer

Cases will not be settled until both parties are willing to leave the marriage. Thus, the timing of your divorce offer may be as vital as the content. Don’t make the offer too early, especially if the other party is not ready to receive it. Failure to do so will mean you will be betting against yourself.

8. The Bottom Line

No matter how frustrated you get, when going through a divorce, you can benefit from taking few minutes to set your emotions aside and see whether a collaborative divorce will decrease the stress of your separation. Working together may mean making compromises (something both individuals may not be pleased with), but in the majority of these cases, this option is less harmful to both parties than approaching the divorce as if it were a war.

Featured photo credit: DW Law Firm via davidkontos.com

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Yasmin Rasidi

Copy Writer at Swotfish

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Last Updated on November 11, 2019

How to Improve Memory and Boost Your Brainpower

How to Improve Memory and Boost Your Brainpower

Have you ever noticed that some people are able to effortlessly remember even the most mundane details and quickly comprehend new things? Well, you can too!

To unlock the full potential of your brain, you need to keep it active and acute. Wasting time on your couch watching mindless television shows or scrolling through facebook is not going to help.

Besides getting out flashcards, what can you do to help remember things better and learn new things more quickly? Check out these 10 effective ways on how to improve memory:

1. Exercise and Get Your Body Moving

Exercising doesn’t just exercise the body, it also helps to exercise your brain. Obesity and the myriad of diseases that eventually set in as a result of being overweight can cause serious harm to the brain.

Furthermore, without regular exercise, plaque starts to build up in your arteries, and your blood vessels begin to lose the ability to effectively pump blood. Plaque buildup leads to heart attacks and it also reduces the amount of oxygen and nutrients that your blood carries to your brain. When the nutrients don’t make it there, the brain’s ability to function is compromised.

To prevent this from happening, make sure you get moving every day. Even if it’s just a brisk walk, it’ll help you maintain and increase your mental acuity. Brisk walking, swimming and dancing are all excellent activities. Take a look at these 5 Ways to Find Time for Exercise.

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2. Eliminate Stressors and Seek Help If You’re Depressed

Anything that causes you major stress, like anger or anxiety, will in time begin to eat away the parts of your brain that are responsible for memory. Amongst the most brain-damaging stressors is depression, which is actually often misdiagnosed a a memory problem since one of its primary symptoms is the inability to concentrate.

If you can’t concentrate, then you might feel like you are constantly forgetting things. Depression increases the levels of cortisol in your bloodstream which elevates the cortisol levels in the brain. Doctors have found that increased cortisol diminishes certain areas of the brain, especially the hippocampus which is where short-term memories are stored.

Prolonged depression can thus destroy your brain’s ability to remember anything new. Seek professional help to combat your depression – your brain will thank you.

3. Get a Good Night’s Sleep and Take Naps

Getting a consistent 7 to 8 hours of sleep each night will increase your memory. During sleep, the brain firms up memories of recently acquired information.

Getting enough sleep will help you get through the full spectrum of nocturnal cycles that are essential to optimal brain and body functioning during the waking hours. Taking a nap throughout the day, especially after learning something new, can also help you to retain those memories as well as recharge your brain and keep it sharper longer.

4. Feed Your Brain

Fifty to sixty percent of the brain’s overall weight is pure fat, which is used to insulate its billions of nerve cells. The better insulated a cell is, the faster it can send messages and the quicker you will be thinking.

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This is precisely why parents are advised to feed their young children whole milk and to restrict dieting – their brains’ need fat to grow and work properly. Skimping on fats can be devastating even to the adult brain.

Thus, eating foods that contain a healthy mix of fats is vital for long-term memory. Some excellent food choices include fish (especially anchovies, mackerel and wild salmon) and dark leafy green vegetables. Here’re more brain food choices: 12 Foods that Can Improve Your Brain Power

Deep-fried foods obviously contain fat but their lack of nutritional value is not going to help your brain or your body, so think healthy foods and fats.

5. Eat Breakfast and Make Sure It Includes an Egg

According to Larry McCleary, M.D., author of  The Brain Trust Program, an egg is the ideal breakfast. Eggs contain B vitamins which help nerve cells to burn glucose, antioxidants that protect neurons against damage; and omega-3 fatty acids that keep nerve cells firing at optimal speed.

Other foods to add to your breakfast include fruits, veggies and lean proteins. Avoid trans fats and high fructose corn syrup. Trans fats diminish the brain cells’ ability to communicate with each other and HFCS can actually shrink the brain by damaging cells.

Having a healthy breakfast in the morning has been shown to improve performance throughout the day. If you’re too busy to have a healthy breakfast, this maybe just right for you: 33 Quick And Healthy Breakfasts For Busy Mornings

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6. Write it Down

If there’s something you want to remember, writing it down can help.

It may sound like a no-brainer, but do you really know why? Writing it down creates oxygenated blood flow to areas of your brain that a responsible for your memories and literally exercises those parts of it. Here’s How Writing Things Down Can Change Your Life.

You can start a journal, write yourself emails or even start keeping a blog – all of these activities will help to improve your capacity to remember and memorize information.

7. Listen to Music

Research shows that certain types of music are very helpful in recalling memories. Information that is learned while listening to a particular song or collection can often be recalled by thinking of the song or “playing” it mentally. Songs and music can serve as cues for pulling up particular memories.

8. Visual Concepts

In order to remember things, many people need to visualize the information they are studying.

Pay attention to photographers, charts and other graphics that might appear in your textbook; or if you’re not studying a book, try to pull up a mental image of what it is you are trying to remember. It might also help to draw your own charts or figures, or utilize colors and highlighters to group related ideas in your notes.

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Here, you can learn How to Become a Person Who Can Visualize Results.

9. Teach Someone Else

Reading material out loud has been shown to significantly improve memory of the material. Expanding further upon this idea is the fact that psychologists and educators have found that by having students teach new concepts to others, it helps to enhance understanding and recall.

Teach new concepts and information to a friend or study partner, and you’ll find you remember the information a lot better.

10. Do Crossword Puzzles, Read or Play Cards

Studies have shown that doing crossword puzzles, read or play cards on a daily basis not only keep your brain active but also help to delay memory loss, especially in those who develop dementia.

So pick up the daily newspaper and work on that crossword puzzle, read a book or enjoy a game of solitaire.

Pick one to two of these tips first and start applying them to your everyday life. Very soon you’ll find yourself having better memories and a clearer head!

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Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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