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3 Major As in Marriage That Can Lead To Divorce

3 Major As in Marriage That Can Lead To Divorce

It is very essential to define the term “Marriage” because different people have different meanings of the term. No doubt, there are a lot of benefits in union of a man and woman especially the sweetness and beautiful life you enjoy as partners. Many marriages have easily been terminated today. A reason might be that some people failed to understand how to get men committed to you.

As a result of this failure a sweet home will just break off easily. In one of my previous articles I explained the reasons why many relationships fail at their tender period. People sometimes also fail to understand what their partner want. If the level of understanding hits the bottom then the marriage is at the brick of divorce.

Moreover, no matter how full of understanding a relationship is, such a union will face challenges. When the challenges can’t be overcome and coped with it, might lead to divorce.

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Divorce without more definition is an obstacle to any relationship. It is also known as the end of marital problems because it is surely the end of the whole marriage when we call it a divorce. It is surely a device that breaks the sweetness and enjoyment of two partners.

According to a Spodek Law Group who assists in overcoming difficulties in divorce with a strong emphasis placed on compassionate, comprehensiveness and cutting edge legal representation. The group explained the major three things in marriage which can lead to divorce. These 3 reasons which all start with an A can pose a huge threat to the stability and understanding level of a romantic relationship. I will explain the three As below.

1. Addiction

Addiction is known as a habit of doing something consistently. Though, consistently in the sense that such individuals can’t go without the habit. Such a habit has a negative effect on the life of the individual. Simple examples are those who are addicted to hard drugs like Cocaine, Heroine, Liquor and others. No doubt, a partner’s addiction to any of the above drugs can have a negative effect on your relationship.

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Also, addiction to sex of a partner can end a marriage by divorce. I have read many stories where the sole reason why many partners divorced is a sex addiction. A partner will accuse his partner of not satisfying him or her. Another addiction is gambling. All addicted activities can interfere with our living thereby affecting our marriage.

2. Abuse

Abuse without doubt can terminate a marriage. Abuse simply means misusing or insult in a marriage. The abuse can be verbal, physical, mental and also economical. The physical abuse in a marriage is also known as “domestic violence”. Good examples of physical abuse are beating, pushing, hitting, pressing etc.

On the other hand, examples of emotional maltreatment is a partner’s high level of jealousy, maltreatment of the spouse, making jest or fun of the partner or revulsion of affection.

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However, economical abuse in matrimony is the excessive control of finance by one partner. The misusing of the financial aspect of a relationship by a spouse to mistreat the other spouse so that they live in misery. This makes your partner feel scared, powerless and eventually makes her or him sad or not comfortable in the marriage.

3. Adultery

Adultery is said to be an extra-marital affair. It is an intimate infidelity to one’s better half or husband. It’s a costly offensive act on a spiritual, social and moral level because the trust of your companion is being betrayed. In some cultures, adultery is seen as a crime as well, but this is not the case in a few Europeans and African countries. Sincerely commiting adultery poses serious problem within a marriage.

After reading this post, I believe you have learnt from it. Therefore, you need to spare your marriage by understanding your partner. There is nothing good in getting into the stage of divorce. Enjoy your wonderful life and sweet relationship with your partner by learning from these three ‘As’ to avoid divorce.

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Featured photo credit: Xavier Sotomayor via unsplash.com

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Saminu Abass

Content Writer and Blogger

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Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]

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Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.

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In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]

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Exercise

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.

Meditation

Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.

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In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via pixabay.com

Reference

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