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11 Ways to be a Gentleman When in a Relationship

11 Ways to be a Gentleman When in a Relationship

Guys, admit it or not, we ladies love gentlemen. We love all the nice gestures and words you sprinkle upon us as much as we love Mom’s homemade apple pie. Those hand-picked roses from your neighbor’s garden may also do the trick, but does it really?

Without going overboard, you can still be a gentleman and win our hearts. Yes, even the coldest of hearts can melt with simple deeds (notice how I emphasized deeds?) and words (because, yes, words do count, too!).

1. Do as you say.

Oftentimes, relationships break apart due to shattered promises. Gentlemen rarely or even never break their promises (except for really valid reasons). And when I say valid, it’s mainly because of unexpected (as in unexpected and totally emergent) reasons. Life-and-death occurrences count, as compared with laziness or just “not in the mood” excuses.

If you are not in the mood to do something, tell that to your partner and maybe (just maybe) she’ll understand. Yes, we know that you’re also human and have ups and downs with your moods. You just want to stay at home or have an all-boys day out just as we girls do. So please feel free to tell us the REAL reason why you’re not up for a lunch out with us and we’ll do our best to understand you. It’s just a matter of communication.

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2. Say things nicely.

I know it can sound pretty hard for those who aren’t really ‘sweet-talkers.’ But hey, your words can make or break your relationships, dude. There may be times when you can hold off that nasty word, or better yet, don’t say it at all when you know that you’ll offend your significant other.

Of course, you might say that it differs based on personality, but then, will it really be a death sentence for you if you won’t utter those hurtful words? So what if you feel like she’s not as beautiful as the first time you met her? So what if her hair isn’t as flat-out or curled as you want it to be? Would it be better to tell her outright that she’s not beautiful anymore? Think about it, for you just might save your dying relationship.

3. Hold the door for her.

Old-school actions still work; trust me. No matter how much she insists on opening it herself, be alert enough to notice that she also needs you to be there for her (even for the littlest things). And yes, we really appreciate the initiative. Even when it comes to doors.

4. Bring her home after a date.

It may be awkward, most especially if you still don’t have ‘wheels’ to drive her to her house after your date (not to mention an additional expense for you), but what better way to be a gentleman than letting her folks/siblings/guardian (especially if she still lives with them) that you took great care of their princess? Yup, this is a true-blue way to be a gentleman without going overboard!

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5. Have initiative over the little things.

Being gentlemanly is not just about words. Your planning over the little things (specifically for your future dates) counts a lot. Instead of letting her do all the decision-making, why not take the first step to creating a list of places (Note: These need not be expensive spots) to go to. Once you’re done with your list, show it to her and let the two of you plan your itinerary. Aside from showing that you have the intention to take her to a simple yet memorable hangout, you’ll definitely show that you’re really serious about your intentions with her.

6. Seek permission from her parents/siblings/guardian when going out.

Okay, this may apply to those not yet married (also based on various cultural preferences), but I’d like to emphasize on the power of seeking parents’ approval. Some might disagree with this practice, but it still definitely counts as a gentleman’s way of showing respect to them.

Call it corny, but even millennials still need to regard their parents’ opinions over vital matters (especially that of the heart). By doing so, you, the gentleman, are also proving how serious you are about her.

And for the ladies, yes, it’s also a nice practice to (most of the time) let your parents know about your whereabouts. This is not to deprive you of your privacy whatsoever, but most especially if you still live with your parents, you’d be really in good hands knowing that your parents have trust in you and your guy. That’s the best feeling ever.

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7. Be polite (even to strangers).

A gentleman doesn’t easily get annoyed over the simplest of things. Encountered a waiter who spilled orange juice over your newly ironed suit? Would you yell at him right then and there? Uh-oh. Spells D-I-S-A-S-T-E-R already.

Yes, we ladies also love a calm demeanor, most especially over the little things. Notice how I always emphasize the simple things? It’s because they matter the most. If you can’t be polite to the people around you, how much more respectful will you be with us in the long run?

8. Be especially polite to your mom.

Politeness in the streets is already a huge plus. What more could we ask for when it comes to your mom and your family as a whole? If you are already courteous, polite, and nice to your parents, you’d have an easier time showing your gentleman-ness to your lady love.

Rudeness is not in the vocabulary of a gentleman. Though there may be times when you feel off (mainly due to some unresolved issues in your career, family, etc.), it won’t hurt to smile or say things in a nice way. Your politeness can definitely take you a long way!

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9. Compromise.

Can’t agree over where to go? Don’t want to really go where your lady wants to be? Not a problem, for a gentleman learns to compromise. Even if it may be a “no” for you to go to the KTV, but your girl wants to spend some time belting her lungs out, you might want to accompany her there, too. After all, you love her, right? Even if you don’t want to sing (or if you think you might break the mirrors there), it won’t really hurt going with her. And yes, that’s a gentleman’s way of saying that he’s not just being the love of her life for convenience, he’s saying that he’s in for the long haul.

10. Carry her heavy baggage (literally). 

A gentleman is sensitive enough to know when his lady is having difficulties carrying her things. May it be her shopping bag, some trash bags, cans of milk, and others, if you are a real gentleman, you would offer a hand. Although we have high regard for gender equality now, it won’t hurt if you extend some help to your girl.

11. Offer her a seat.

An old-fashioned act itself, offering your girl a seat (whether at a restaurant, bus, queue, etc.) is a time-tested way to express your concern for her. Not only would you be rekindling the good old days when you were still truly, madly courting her, but it would also make her feel so special that she’ll have a hard time sleeping, reminiscing your gentle nature.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via static.pexels.com

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Celine Bernadette Hautea Francisco

Language Specialist/Content Strategist

be a gentleman 11 Ways to be a Gentleman When in a Relationship

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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