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Don’t Be Afraid To Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Already Taken.

Don’t Be Afraid To Be Yourself. Everyone Else Is Already Taken.

It is a common phrase of advice. You hear it all the time.  ‘Just be yourself.’ It sounds like a great achievement we all strive toward. But hold on a minute. What does this mean?
It’s confusing — Is a narcissist supposed to stay narcissistic because of who they are? Should people with social phobias just stay locked in their walls?

The true self are fearless and unmasked.

Now think about this: the narcissist and the hermit are not being who they really are. They are overshadowed by their self-fear and thoughts. True selves are letting go of labels and clouded judgments placed on us. No pretentious masks. We are who we are when we shed off cloaks of other people. When we claim ‘this is who I am’, it is just a self-assumption. A lifetime of accumulated beliefs and thoughts are ingrained in you to shape your life and you need to reshape into the real you.

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Reach your ‘inner child’  and loosen up a little bit.

Noticed how children freely do what they want to do and care little what the rest think? They stay happy in their moment. This is representative of true nature. They have not yet been socialized to fit in the norm. They do not care if people may think they are silly or reckless.

When we try to fit in the society, we suppress the true self-nature built from fearful thoughts about what others may think. If you are worried about being judged, it is not the real you that you’re worrying about, it is the you that’s created by the social norm.

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Get in touch with you. Be available to yourself.

Be aware of the quality of your thoughts. Allow yourself some quiet moments every day. Observe your thoughts carefully. Our unconscious beliefs have been handed down by others, and this is who we believe we are. Let go of old beliefs that boggle your present and reveal the true you. We are more than that old ingrained negative thoughts.

Follow your intuition.

The most important part of being you is to follow your intuition. When you feel obligated to others, their happiness becomes more important than yours. You ignore your urge to move to a new place, you stay at unfulfilling jobs because you are afraid of what others may think of you. Stepping out of the comfort zones make you look like a failure to others, so you stick to your old habits and build incredible unhappiness.

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When you start following your urges and desires, you hop onto a pathway destined for awesomeness. No denying there may be humps and bumps on the road, but when you are aligned with the calling of your inner soul, you steer into the best direction ahead. If you are miserable in a job that is out of character for you, quit it. You will land back on your feet in time in an even better job.

Free yourself.

Evaluate how much you care about other people’s perceptions of you, and you may find that you’ve stuffed your natural self away into a binding locked box. Suppressing yourself to fit in and please others may bring you anger, depression, and shyness which is not really the true you.

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When you feel like getting attached to labels or stories, relax, breathe and get into the moment. Think about how you would act in that situation if you did not care what other thought of you. Let go of the thoughts about how others think about you, do what you love, and you’ll connect your true nature with your inner happiness, allowing your real self to shine.

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Nena Tenacity

Nena is passionate about writing. She shares her everyday health and lifestyle tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on December 10, 2019

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

5 Smart Reasons to Start Journal Writing Today

Here’s the truth: your effectiveness at life is not what it could be. You’re missing out.

Each day passes by and you have nothing to prove that it even happened. Did you achieve something? Go on a date? Have an emotional breakthrough? Who knows?

But what you do know is that you don’t want to make the same mistakes that you’ve made in the past.

Our lives are full of hidden gems of knowledge and insight, and the most recent events in our lives contain the most useful gems of all. Do you know why? It’s simple, those hidden lessons are the most up to date, meaning they have the largest impact on what we’re doing right now.

But the question is, how do you get those lessons? There’s a simple way to do it, and it doesn’t involve time machines:

Journal writing.

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Improved mental clarity, the ability to see our lives in the big picture, as well as serving as a piece of evidence cataloguing every success we’ve ever had; we are provided all of the above and more by doing some journal writing.

Journal writing is a useful and flexible tool to help shed light on achieving your goals.

Here’s 5 smart reasons why you should do journal writing:

1. Journals Help You Have a Better Connection with Your Values, Emotions, and Goals

By journaling about what you believe in, why you believe it, how you feel, and what your goals are, you understand your relationships with these things better. This is because you must sort through the mental clutter and provide details on why you do what you do and feel what you feel.

Consider this:

Perhaps you’ve spent the last year or so working at a job you don’t like. It would be easy to just suck it up and keep working with your head down, going on as if it’s supposed to be normal to not like your job. Nobody else is complaining, so why should you, right?

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But a little journal writing will set things straight for you. You don’t like your job. You feel like it’s robbing you of happiness and satisfaction, and you don’t see yourself better there in the future.

The other workers? Maybe they don’t know, maybe they don’t care. But you do, you know and care enough to do something about it. And you’re capable of fixing this problem because your journal writing allows you to finally be honest with yourself about it.

2. Journals Improve Mental Clarity and Help Improve Your Focus

If there’s one thing journal writing is good for, it’s clearing the mental clutter.

How does it work? Simply, whenever you have a problem and write about it in a journal, you transfer the problem from your head to the paper. This empties the mind, allowing allocation of precious resources to problem-solving rather than problem-storing.

Let’s say you’ve been juggling several tasks at work. You’ve got data entry, testing, e-mails, problems with the boss, and so on—enough to overwhelm you—but as you start journal writing, things become clearer and easier to understand: Data entry can actually wait till Thursday; Bill kindly offered earlier to do my testing; For e-mails, I can check them now; the boss is just upset because Becky called in sick, etc.

You become better able to focus and reason your tasks out, and this is an indispensable and useful skill to have.

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3. Journals Improve Insight and Understanding

As a positive consequence of improving your mental clarity, you become more open to insights you may have missed before. As you write your notes out, you’re essentially having a dialogue with yourself. This draws out insights that you would have missed otherwise; it’s almost as if two people are working together to better understand each other. This kind of insight is only available to the person who has taken the time to connect with and understand themselves in the form of writing.

Once you’ve gotten a few entries written down, new insights can be gleaned from reading over them. What themes do you see in your life? Do you keep switching goals halfway through? Are you constantly dating the same type of people who aren’t good for you? Have you slowly but surely pushed people out of your life for fear of being hurt?

All of these questions can be answered by simply self-reflecting, but you can only discover the answers if you’ve captured them in writing. These questions are going to be tough to answer without a journal of your actions and experiences.

4. Journals Track Your Overall Development

Life happens, and it can happen fast. Sometimes we don’t take the time to stop and look around at what’s happening to us at each moment. We don’t get to see the step-by-step progress that we’re making in our own lives. So what happens? One day it’s the future, and you have no idea how you’ve gotten there.

Journal writing allows you to see how you’ve changed over time, so you can see where you did things right, and you can see where you took a misstep and fell.

The great thing about journals is that you’ll know what that misstep was, and you can make sure it doesn’t happen again—all because you made sure to log it, allowing yourself to learn from your mistakes.

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5. Journals Facilitate Personal Growth

The best thing about journal writing is that no matter what you end up writing about, it’s hard to not grow from it. You can’t just look at a past entry in which you acted shamefully and say “that was dumb, anyway!” No, we say “I will never make a dumb choice like that again!”

It’s impossible not to grow when it comes to journal writing. That’s what makes journal writing such a powerful tool, whether it’s about achieving goals, becoming a better person, or just general personal-development. No matter what you use it for, you’ll eventually see yourself growing as a person.

Kickstart Journaling

How can journaling best be of use to you? To vent your emotions? To help achieve your goals? To help clear your mind? What do you think makes journaling such a useful life skill?

Know the answer? Then it’s about time you reap the benefits of journal writing and start putting pen to paper.

Here’s what you can do to start journaling:

Featured photo credit: Jealous Weekends via unsplash.com

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