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This One Simple Question Can Help You Tackle Your Fear And Make The Best Decision

This One Simple Question Can Help You Tackle Your Fear And Make The Best Decision

How many times have you been in a situation where you were about to do something of huge importance to you for the first time, or where you were faced with making an important decision and you felt so paralyzed by fear that you couldn’t concentrate on simple tasks, let alone tackle those big decisions or actions you were supposed to? Fear has a way of doing it to us, making us incapable of doing what we, essentially want, but for some reasons, can’t do. More so, fear sneaks up on us only when we are dealing with issues that truly matter to us, such as our education, work, relationships and health.

The reasons most of us feel fear

In order to help ourselves deal with fear in a much more effective way, we need to discover reasons for its existence in the first place. The reason many of us feel fearful when faced with big decisions in life, is simply because they are big, and could totally change the direction of our lives for better or for worse. There is so much at stake and many of us feel trapped because of the pressure that importance of the decision implies. Additionally, many dealt with the low self-confidence that makes them feel incompetent in making life-changing decisions. And, of course, the number one reason – our unwillingness to step outside our comfort zone. For most people fear is the first response when they are about to make a change, since it is in our nature, as humans, to feel far more secure when we are in a familiar place, no matter how bad it may be, than to move into better, but unfamiliar territory.

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The question to end fear

Our coping mechanisms to deal with fear include everything from deep breathing exercises to yoga, meditation and physical exercises. Even though helpful, these don’t actually get to the core of the problem. They help us lessen the fear in a certain situation, yet the same feeling comes each time we are faced with a similar situation.

In order to successfully tackle and eventually eliminate fear entirely, we need to ask ourselves one simple question – “What’s the worst that could happen?” In this way, we are acknowledging the fear and, as we ask additional questions, we are playing the worst possible scenario in our head, which eventually soothes us as we can become better prepared for all possible outcomes. The approach was suggested by Iyanla Vanzant, motivational speaker and New York Times best-selling author. Vanzant suggests that the approach helps to efficiently eliminate the power of fear: “Often by simply identifying the fear—and figuring out a concrete way to deal with it should it come true—you remove a lot of its power to control your decision-making.”

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Start eliminating fear with one simple question

Even though fear has been present in our lives for as long as we can remember, it doesn’t mean we can’t do anything about it. By using the one question approach, we can identify our fears and face them head on, which will result in their complete elimination over time.

For example, if your goal is to inspire others, and provide support for people who want to achieve their goals, you might experience fear of public speaking just as you are about to step in front of the bigger audience for the first time. Since this is still an unknown territory for you, and your desire to make it is strong, your comfort zone is resisting shifting, you may feel extremely uncomfortable, to say the least. Knowing what you now know, you would want to take some time to have a quick talk with yourself. Ask yourself “What’s the worst that could happen?” “If that happens, then what? And then what?” As your worst case scenario has already been played out in your head, you will soon realize that you are much stronger than you may think. This approach relieves us from the pressure we feel and the fear of not making it. And, the best part is that once the pressure is off, our clarity returns and our performance levels enhance, making those worst case scenarios almost impossible. As we practice this approach a couple of times, our brain will soon pick up the new behavior as a coping mechanism, and the process will become much more effortless until we eventually eliminate all fear from our lives.

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Next time you start feeling insecure and fearful about an important life decision, make sure to break the fear down by using these questions until you have no fear left to cope with.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

7 Powerful Questions To Find Out What You Want To Do With Your Life

What do I want to do with my life? It’s a question all of us think about at one point or another.

For some, the answer comes easily. For others, it takes a lifetime to figure out.

It’s easy to just go through the motions and continue to do what’s comfortable and familiar. But for those of you who seek fulfillment, who want to do more, these questions will help you paint a clearer picture of what you want to do with your life.

1. What are the things I’m most passionate about?

The first step to living a more fulfilling life is to think about the things that you’re passionate about.

What do you love? What fulfills you? What “work” do you do that doesn’t feel like work? Maybe you enjoy writing, maybe you love working with animals or maybe you have a knack for photography.

The point is, figure out what you love doing, then do more of it.

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2. What are my greatest accomplishments in life so far?

Think about your past experiences and the things in your life you’re most proud of.

How did those accomplishments make you feel? Pretty darn good, right? So why not try and emulate those experiences and feelings?

If you ran a marathon once and loved the feeling you had afterwards, start training for another one. If your child grew up to be a star athlete or musician because of your teachings, then be a coach or mentor for other kids.

Continue to do the things that have been most fulfilling for you.

3. If my life had absolutely no limits, what would I choose to have and what would I choose to do?

Here’s a cool exercise: Think about what you would do if you had no limits.

If you had all the money and time in the world, where would you go? What would you do? Who would you spend time with?

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These answers can help you figure out what you want to do with your life. It doesn’t mean you need millions of dollars to be happy though.

What it does mean is answering these questions will help you set goals to reach certain milestones and create a path toward happiness and fulfillment. Which leads to our next question …

4. What are my goals in life?

Goals are a necessary component to set you up for a happy future. So answer these questions:

Once you figure out the answers to each of these, you’ll have a much better idea of what you should do with your life.

5. Whom do I admire most in the world?

Following the path of successful people can set you up for success.

Think about the people you respect and admire most. What are their best qualities? Why do you respect them? What can you learn from them?

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You’re the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with.[1] So don’t waste your time with people who hold you back from achieving your dreams.

Spend more time with happy, successful, optimistic people and you’ll become one of them.

6. What do I not like to do?

An important part of figuring out what you want to do with your life is honestly assessing what you don’t want to do.

What are the things you despise? What bugs you the most about your current job?

Maybe you hate meetings even though you sit through 6 hours of them every day. If that’s the case, find a job where you can work more independently.

The point is, if you want something to change in your life, you need to take action. Which leads to our final question …

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7. How hard am I willing to work to get what I want?

Great accomplishments never come easy. If you want to do great things with your life, you’re going to have to make a great effort. That will probably mean putting in more hours the average person, getting outside your comfort zone and learning as much as you can to achieve as much as you can.

But here’s the cool part: it’s often the journey that is the most fulfilling part. It’s during these seemingly small, insignificant moments that you’ll often find that “aha” moments that helps you answer the question,

“What do I want to do with my life?”

So take the first step toward improving your life. You won’t regret it.

Featured photo credit: Andrew Ly via unsplash.com

Reference

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