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The Miracles From Moving Your “But”

The Miracles From Moving Your “But”

Remove the word “but” from your vocabulary, and get more out of life. This word is too often used to state something that we deem conditional. For example, I want to go on a vacation, but I don’t have a lot of money. Or I want a meaningful relationship, but I’m very busy. When we put the word “but” after stating what we want, we automatically create difficulties for ourselves in achieving it. We start to think that what we want isn’t possible until we have sorted our something else first.

Consider that they are unrelated.

The reality is that those four statements are completely irrelevant to each other. They only become connected through our logic. Let’s experiment swapping “but” with “and.”

I want to go on a vacation, and I don’t have a lot of money.

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I want a meaningful relationship, and I’m very busy.

You might see for yourself that they don’t need a lot of money to have a nice vacation away from the regular grind. You can enjoy a beautiful weekend out of town, camping, traveling, road-tripping, or walking on an easy budget. Anything you want can be a period relaxation and freedom.

And…

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You can have a relationship that is supportive and loving that keeps up with a busy schedule. It doesn’t take a lot of time to laugh and to tell someone you love them.

We always find a way.

Often we find a way to go beyond the “conditional want” when we are dealing with a priority. For example, “I want to go out, but I have to work tomorrow” isn’t unusual to change into “I want to go out, and I have to work tomorrow,” explicitly stating that it’s going to be a brief night out. The intrigue of going out sometimes is so strong that it finds a way to make both works. If it was an effective day at work in the morning, is a different question…

Managing both happens when we go beyond our “buts” and “ifs,” our wants become unconditional when we are dealing with priority number 1, we will always find a way to fit it in our schedule.

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As a child, we didn’t have any conditions to our wants. We were given advice, and after time many of us chose to abide by those conditions we truly believe in, and consequently we close off other conditions from consideration. Tim Ferris (best-selling author of the 4 hour work week, 4-hour body and 4-hour chef) shows perfectly how questioning the status-quo can prove to have surprising results.

Practice for efficiency.

Where it is good to develop this habit is in areas that are important to us but aren’t urgent. I.e Tuning up our car, our health, our finances… If keeping up with your health is important to you and you don’t seem to have any time in your schedule, say “I want to work out, and I have no time in my schedule.” Opportunities will show up in questions like; Where can I make time? What can I drop that isn’t as important? What can I delegate? This is something I have been applying in my life personally, and as a result feel finer than the sands of Barcelona’s beaches.

Choosing to connect two facts with “and” not “but” is choosing to be powerful in the areas that are important, especially in the face of challenging circumstances.

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Applying it in your life.

I invite you now to try this in your life. Anywhere that you feel that you have to make a decision, either at work, a weekend activity, a purchase or a dinner, replace your “but” with “and” and see if there are any solutions that appear that you didn’t see before. It won’t look like you first expected, and if you are happy with that, you just applied this human-state-physics bender. Bravo.

As a summary, recognizing that the facts are unrelated with the help of linking them with “and” instead of “but” your creativity will open up and play with possibilities, which can attain what you want and sustain what works in your life.

More by this author

Dean Le Monnier

Life Coach, Public Speaker

The Miracles From Moving Your “But” Shortcut to Happiness

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Last Updated on July 15, 2019

41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About

41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About

Some things in life are hard to describe, yet we can recognize them when we see them.

Love is one of those things.

True love comes in many different forms, but here are some that many of us know well.

True love means supporting those who can’t support themselves

supportive couple

    A young man comforts his date in Times Square, New York City. Image by mbtrama

    strong hug

      A young man holds his significant other close to him. Image by Brad Fults

      running help

        A young track competitor helps one of her injured opponents over the finish line. Image from ViralNova.com

        feeding kitten

          A soldier in the Korean War takes time to feed a baby kitten. Image from US Naval Insititute

          It’s having the perfect selfie partner

          mom and daughter selfie

            A mother and her daughter take a selfie together. Image by Andrew Fysh

            girlfriends

              Two young girls pose for the camera. Image by Rolands Lakis

              selfies

                A happy couple takes a picture together. Image by Kayla Heineman

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                selfie

                  Two best friends take a selfie together. Image by Jason Wahido

                  dude selfie

                    Friends take a selfie together. Image by Glenn Scofield Williams

                    It’s all the warm fuzzies

                    12748262703_84c008f4e5_z

                      A young man spends time with his dog on a beach. Image by Magdalena Roeseler

                      DSC06952

                        A pet owner hugs his dog while on a day trip in San Francisco. Image by Taro the Shiba Inu

                        It means having a friend to photobomb you

                        photobomb

                          A boy makes a funny face as he poses for a picture with his brother. Image by Michael Bentley

                          old man photobomb

                            A man photobombs his wife while their grandson snaps a picture. Image by Frank

                            family photobomb

                              Family members photobomb their relatives’ Thanksgiving day family photo. Image by Beth Scupham

                              boyfriend photobomb

                                A friend photobombs the photographer and their friend, the woman in the foreground of this photo. Image by Lachlan Hardy

                                True love means being there even when life gets unbearably hard

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                                shoulder to cry on

                                  A family watches the Vermont National Guard depart for Afghanistan. Image by The U.S. Army

                                  flood dog

                                    During a monsoon in the Philippines, a boy carries his dog to safety. Image by Romeo Ranoco

                                    A woman is rescued from flood waters by a resident standing on top of her car during heavy rain in Chalandri suburb north of Athens

                                      A man helps a woman out of her vehicle during a flood in Chalandri, Greece. Image by John Kolesidis

                                      lunch

                                        A woman has lunch with her husband every day, even after he’s passed away. Image from ViralNova.com

                                        hug

                                          A woman hugs the mother of 6-year-old Noah Ponzer, who was one of the victims of the Sandy Hook shootings. Image by Spencer Platt

                                          rubble

                                            An Oklahoma couple pauses while trying to salvage belongings from a family member’s home after a tornado. Image by Adrees Latif

                                            sister and brother

                                              A girl puts her arm around her little brother as they wait outside of Sandy Hook Elementary after gunshots are fired. Image by Reuters.

                                              headstone

                                                A woman sits at her husband’s grave the day before their wedding anniversary. Image from NBC news

                                                It means taking the time for long goodbyes

                                                110321-N-BT887-100

                                                  A man says goodbye to his son before deploying. Image by Official U.S. Navy Page

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                                                  national guard goodbye

                                                    A South Carolina man says goodbye to his son before deploying for Afghanistan. Image by The National Guard

                                                    saying goodbye

                                                      A Sergeant hugs both of his sons before being deployed to Afghanistan. Image by The National Guard

                                                      And cherishing reunions

                                                      husband home

                                                        A woman hugs her husband as she sees him for the first time since his deployment to Iraq. Image by The U.S. Army

                                                        boyfriend home

                                                          A young  woman hugs her significant other as he returns home for Kuwait. Image by The National Guard

                                                          mother hug

                                                            A mother drops to her knees as she hugs her son on her return home from the Persian Gulf. Image by The National Guard

                                                            True love is letting yourself feel young when they’re around

                                                            elderly women

                                                              Two friends on their smartphones. Image by Robert Neff

                                                              feeling young

                                                                A young couple getting their picture taken. Image by db Photograph

                                                                sprinkler dad

                                                                  A father plays in a sprinkler with his daughter at Millennium Park in Chicago. Image by Ben Forsberg

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                                                                  subway couple

                                                                    A young couple on a subway enjoys sharing time together, while the girlfriend’s father sneaks a photo of them. Image by Gareth Williams

                                                                    wheelchairs

                                                                      A couple holds hands on a fall day. Image by David Amsler

                                                                      It’s letting yourself be silly… just because they’ll enjoy it

                                                                      silly faces

                                                                        A grandfather makes faces at the camera with his granddaughters. Image by Tim Pierce

                                                                        vote for pedro

                                                                          A woman’s father wears a Napoleon Dynamite t-shirt to make his daughter laugh. Image by emdot

                                                                          True love is allowing yourself to show how you really feel

                                                                          date night

                                                                            A young couple kisses in the back of a restaurant in Washington, D.C. Image by Derek Key

                                                                            playing violin

                                                                              Violinist Nancy Dinovo plays at a memorial service for the victims of 9/11. Image by Christopher Morris

                                                                              True love is timeless

                                                                              old friends

                                                                                Friends spending some time together. Image by Cristian Bortes

                                                                                sitting around a fire

                                                                                  A group of friends sits around a campfire eating. Image by New Old Stock

                                                                                  elderly couple

                                                                                    An elderly couple walks down a street together. Image by Matteo Paciotti

                                                                                    Featured photo credit: Matteo Paciotti via flickr.com

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