Lots of people are in relationships that don’t make them truly happy. They love their partner and they don’t want to be with anyone else, but for some reason their relationship is filled with arguments and resentment. Sometimes they feel disrespected by their partner even though they know that their partner loves them. This can leave both partners feeling frustrated, confused and upset.
If you can relate to this you’re not alone. Lots of couples love each other, but they don’t know the relationship rules for a happy love life. If you want to create a perfect relationship, follow these 5 relationship rules:
1. Make An Effort To Converse Every Day
One of the main issues in long-term relationships is when both partners stop making an effort to talk to each other. Instead of having interesting, thought-provoking conversations, all of the conversations start with “How are you?” or “How was work?”. While it is okay for some conversations to start like this, a happy couple will also talk about other things such as their interests or hobbies.
Small talk about boring subjects won’t bring you and your partner closer together. If anything it is more likely to pull you apart, as you will both start to feel like you have nothing in common with each other. Make the effort to ask your partner one interesting question a day, such as “Has anything made you laugh today?” The conversation will be much more enjoyable for both of you, and it gives you the opportunity to bond with each other.
2. Be Vocal About Your Needs
Sometimes people expect their partners to be able to predict their thoughts, emotions and desires. They feel that they are entitled to this, but in reality this is unreasonable. If your partner doesn’t anticipate your needs over time you might start to feel hurt and angry, but this isn’t fair on your partner. It is your responsibility to vocalise your needs and feelings, and then it is your partner’s responsibility to respond in a loving way.
3. Write Down Your Thoughts Before Talking To Your Partner
When we are upset it can be tempting to lash out and get angry, but the best thing you can do is sit down and write out your thoughts. This gives you the chance to process and understand your feelings, and it will help you to figure out the root of the problem. Later when you discuss the problem with your partner you will feel calmer and less upset, so you are less likely to say something hurtful. It also means you will have a more positive attitude about solving the problem.
4. Don’t Complain About Your Partner To Your Friends
Lots of people go to their friends about their relationship problems as they know that they will receive support and love. However, talking badly about your partner when they are not around to defend themselves can warp your perception of them, making you view them in a negative light. If you want to create a perfect relationship remember that communication is an important part of making a relationship work, so you should try to talk to your partner first instead of your friends.
5. Don’t Hold On To Every Little Thing
One of the most toxic traits in a relationship is keeping score. Your partner forgot to take out the bins, so you’re seething with anger. You didn’t take the chicken out of the freezer, so your partner called you selfish. Passive aggressive behaviour like this indicates that there is a serious problem in the relationship, but instead of addressing it you both continue to obsess over the little things.
If you can relate to this, try to work on being more relaxed and positive. Remind yourself every day that happiness is built on patience, love and understanding – not resentment and pettiness.
Featured photo credit: Josh Willink via pexels.com