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How to Tell Your Guy You have Herpes

How to Tell Your Guy You have Herpes

While it may seem like it, having herpes isn’t the end of the world. It just changes the way you go about dating. This is not something you can keep hidden from your boyfriend. Well, you can keep it hidden if you don’t have visible outbreaks, but if you do and he finds out, you could end up losing him, not because of the herpes but because of the dishonesty. It is best to be up front about this, but you need to tell him in a tactful way. Here are some tips that will help when it comes time to tell your boyfriend that you have herpes.

1. Don’t Overthink It

The more you think about having this conversation, the more nervous you are going to be about it. Don’t overthink things. You will end up psyching yourself out, and likely it will be for nothing. If he truly loves you, he will be able to get past this and work with you so you can both enjoy the relationship, including sex, without putting him at any risk.

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2. Prepare Yourself

This is a talk that no one wants to have, but you must do it. So, you need to prepare yourself. Practice various ways to tell him, and practice the possible outcomes for each way that you tell him. The more you are prepared, the easier telling him that you have herpes is going to be. You don’t have to plan out every word, but know what you want to tell him and how you want to tell him. Start at the beginning, and don’t leave anything out.

3. Talk TO him, Not AT Him

When you are ready to tell him that you have herpes, don’t turn it into a monologue. Approach this as a low-pressure discussion, beginning with how you feel about him and what you are looking for in the relationship. Then, you can start talking about sex, protection, etc. Ask him when he was last tested for an STD, and explain that you would like to use condoms because you have an STD and you want to keep him from getting it as well.

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4. Provide Facts

You need to be prepared with actual facts about herpes. Many people only know what they hear on the streets, and they are not aware of the truth about this STD. “For instance, you can’t get herpes from sitting on a public toilet seat, no matter how many times people tell you that you can. Get some literature from your doctor, a sexual health clinic, etc. so you can help to assure him that you can enjoy a healthy sexual relationship,” says an expert from Meet Positives, an STD dating platform.

5. Keep Some Things Private

Just because you need to tell him you have herpes, it doesn’t mean that you have to tell him all of the details of how you got it. Some things are often best left in the past, and he doesn’t need to know every aspect of your former relationship, how many lovers you have had, etc. All he needs to know is that you are into him, and that you want a relationship with him.

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6. Let Him Digest Everything

Don’t expect him to just be ready to jump right into bed with you simply because you have told him the truth and are willing to use condoms. He will need time to think about what you have told him. After all, this could have a huge impact on the rest of his life, and there may be other health issues to consider. For instance, if his immune system is already compromised, he may be more susceptible to catching herpes. Give him time to come to terms with your STD.

Featured photo credit: Anita Peeples via unsplash.com

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Jane Hurst

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Last Updated on July 18, 2019

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

What Makes People Happy? 20 Secrets of “Always Happy” People

Some people just seem to float through life with a relentless sense of happiness – through the toughest of times, they’re unfazed and aloof, stopping to smell the roses and drinking out of a glass half full.

They may not have much to be happy about, but the simplicity behind that fact itself may make them happy.

It’s all a matter of perspective, conscious effort and self-awareness. Listed below are a number of reasons why some people are always happy.

1. They Manage Their Expectations

They’re not crushed when they don’t get what they want – or misled into expecting to get the most out of every situation. They approach every situation pragmatically, hoping for the best but being prepared for the worst.

2. They Don’t Set Unrealistic Standards

Similar to the last point, they don’t live their lives in a constant pursuit towards impossible visions of perfection, only to always find themselves falling short of what they want.

3. They Don’t Take Anything for Granted

Happiness rests with feeling fulfilled – those who fail to stop and appreciate what they have every now and again will never experience true fulfillment.

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4. They’re Not Materialistic

There are arguing viewpoints on whether or not money can really buy happiness; if it can, then we know from experience that we can never be satisfied because there will always be something newer or better that we want. Who has ever had enough money?

5. They Don’t Dwell

They don’t sweat the small things or waste time worrying about things that don’t really matter at the end of the day. They don’t let negative thoughts latch onto them and drain them or distract them. Life’s too short to worry.

6. They Care About Themselves First

They’re independent, care for themselves and understand that they must put their needs first in order to accommodate the needs of others.

They indulge, aim to get what they want, make time for themselves and are extremely self-reliant.

7. They Enjoy the Little Things

They stop to smell the roses. They’re accustomed to find serenity when it’s available, to welcome entertainment or a stimulating discussion with a stranger when it crosses their path. They don’t overlook the small things in life that can be just as important.

8. They Can Adapt

They’re not afraid of change and they work to make the most out of new circumstances, good or bad. They thrive under pressure, are not overwhelmed easily and always embrace a change of pace.

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9. They Experiment

They try new things, experience new flavors and never shy away from something they have yet to experience. They never order twice from the same menu.

10. They Take Their Time

They don’t unnecessarily rush through life. They work on their own schedule to the extent that they can and maneuver through life at their own relaxing pace.

11. They Employ Different Perspectives

They’re not stuck in one perspective; a loss can result in a new opportunity, hitting rock bottom can mean that there’s no where to go but up.

12. They Seek to Learn

Their constant pursuit of knowledge keeps them inspired and interested in life. They cherish information and are on a life-long quest to learn as much as they can.

13. They Always Have a Plan

They don’t find themselves drifting without purpose. When something doesn’t go as planned, they have a plan for every letter in the alphabet to fall back on.

14. They Give Respect to Get It

They are respectful and, in turn, are seen as respectable; the respect they exude earns them the respect they deserve.

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15. They Consider Every Opportunity

They always have their eyes open for a new road, a new avenue worth exploring. They know how to recognize opportune moments and pounce on them to make the most of every situation. Success is inevitable for them.

16. They Always Seek to Improve

Perpetual self-improvement is the key towards their ongoing thirst for success. Whatever it is they do, they take pride in getting better and better, from social interactions to mundane tasks. Their pursuit at being the best eventually materializes.

17. They Don’t Take Life Too Seriously

They’re not ones to get offended easily over-analyze or complicate matters. They laugh at their own faults and misfortunes.

18. They Live in the Moment

They don’t live for tomorrow or dwell on what may have happened yesterday. Every day is a new opportunity, a new chapter. They live in the now, and in doing so, get the most out of every moment.

You can learn how to do so too: How to Live in the Moment and Stop Worrying About the Past or Future

19. They Say Yes

Much more often than they say no. They don’t have to be badgered to go out, don’t shy away from new opportunities or anything that may seem inconvenient.

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20. They’re Self-Aware

Most important, they’re wholly aware of themselves. They self-reflect and are conscious of their states of mind. If somethings bothering them, they fix it.

We’re all susceptible to feeling down every now and again, but we are all equipped with the necessary solutions that just have to be discovered.

Lack of confidence, inability to feel fulfilled, and susceptibility to stress are all matters that can be controlled through the way we handle our lives and perceive our circumstances.

Learn about How Self-Reflection Gives You a Happier and More Successful Life.

Final Thoughts

The main philosophy employed by the happiest includes the idea that life’s simply too short: life’s too short to let things get you down, to take things for granted, to pursue absolute and unrealistic perfection.

For some, employing these characteristics is a second nature – they do it without knowing. For others, a conscious effort must be put forth every now and again. Self-Awareness is key.

More About Happiness

Featured photo credit: Charles Postiaux via unsplash.com

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