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Don’t Want To Be Disappointed By Your Relationship? Make Things Happen

Don’t Want To Be Disappointed By Your Relationship? Make Things Happen
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What can I say? I am a sucker for romance, I love a happy ending and I cannot resist the lure of Valentine’s day. It is the one holiday that I connect with the most, but, at the same time, it is the one that never fails to disappoint. It is fast approaching and reminds me to pause and reflect on my life and my marriage and where our relationship might be headed. Having been married for over 30 years, I have learned a thing or two about taking some time to re-consider your options. If you can easily outway the good with the bad then it is worth pursuing. January 2017, things are looking good.

Relationships are never easy, they take time, work and patience to build.

Our relationship is pretty solid and while we do have issues, they aren’t jealousy, finances or communication. We have those covered. Our issues tend to be more related to what I call the “fun” side of things.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my husband but like everyone else, he has his flaws. For one, he is not very romantic or sociable. His idea of a romantic date night is sitting in the living room watching online movies and chilling with some cider. That might actually be fun if he did not run into the other room to check the hockey score every few minutes.

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While there is nothing wrong with online movie date nights, there are more romantic ways to do it.

For example, you can add a theme to the date. Have your partner dress in costume and play a character. Isn’t a Game of Thrones candle night movie and dinner sound a whole lot more romantic than just plain old online movies? In fact, throwing a little role playing into any situation can add a little spice to the date night. It does not have to be a movie night. You can even go out to a sporting event and do this if you and your partner are brave enough.

High expectations

Do I have high expectations for my marriage? I used to think so. Truthfully, back then it seemed a bit more unbalanced. I was always giving into what my husband wanted to do. But, I have learned over the years that a strong marriage means knowing what you want and need. And, understand the behaviors you will and won’t accept. Clarity on this helps to keep the drama out. (Trust me on that one!) My husband has grown to accept the fact that I need him to be a little more “sociable” once in awhile. This does not come as naturally for him as it does for me. And, I do not want to have to ask for it. I expect him to do it. ( Expect may sound harsh, but in order to balance our situation, he must do this once in awhile.)

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Know what you want and need, and then voice it to your partner.

Dealing with disappointment

Yes, I have been disappointed on many occasions. But I accept that because I put the expectation on it. What happens when I feel disappointed by my relationship? It makes me question if he feels like I am even worth the effort. And, I feel like I have failed. Sound familiar? It should. According to Randy Milne, an expert on kinichat.com, “Most of us have experienced disappointment at one time or another. It usually happens when we expect something that we shouldn’t.”  He also mentioned, that as partners we are equally responsible for the disappointment. One partner failed to deliver and the other failed to send the right message.

Turning things around

The one other thing that I have learned during my 30-year marriage is that if you want something bad enough, you may have to make it happen. If you know your partner is not able to provide it, don’t get angry at him or her. Instead, help them deliver by steering them into making the right direction. A hint: a nudge or poke never hurt anyone.

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I created a jar to give my husband ideas of things he could do or buy for me that would make me happy.  Things that I wanted or expected without having to actually discuss it with him. He picks a few ideas out of the jar (on occasion) and makes the plans for me. This way, he succeeds and I do not get disappointed. It’s a win-win.

It is not a huge effort, but at least it is an effort. That is all I expect from him and I am content with that.

Setting limits on demands

If a little effort is all your partner can do, then you need to accept that. Do not expect too much too soon; they not be able to change as fast as you may like. But any attempt at change is a good sign. If your partner is showing an effort, you need to encourage them. Otherwise, they may not see the point in making an attempt. This is where most partners fail one another. They are not able to recognize how difficult it may be for the other partner that’s making the effort to do it. High expectations may lead to further disappointment. The best way to deal with this is to acknowledge every effort as a romantic and caring gesture. You will both feel good about it.

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People give up too easily when things are not going exactly as they planned. It does not mean you have to throw in the towel. With a few adjustments, you can be more comfortable with the outcome. Even if it means listening to the radio while soaking in the spa in your own backyard. ow that is a great compromise. Maybe I will add that to our suggestion jar so my husband can plan that for our next Valentine’s date night.

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Madeline Foster

Free Lance Writer

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Last Updated on July 12, 2021

100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier

100 Incredible Life Hacks That Make Life So Much Easier
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Want to learn some quick and easy life hacks that are easy to do, low cost and saves you time?

By tweaking little things in your daily life, it can make your life much more convenient!

Here’re 100 of the most practical life hacks so you can just pick up any of them right away!

83 tie a small piece of bright colored fabric

    84 write random letter

      85 use a rubberband

        86 dorm smell bad

          87 lean your phone on your sunglassess

            89 how to waterproof your shoes

              90 take a picture of the name card

                91 iron inside out

                  92 old newspaper

                    93 tumble try shoes

                      keep a card like this

                        SONY DSC

                          94 soap bar

                            95 make a hole

                              96 drop the battery

                                97 use a coozie

                                  98 when taking a picture

                                    use a clean dust pan

                                      try a pants hanger

                                        use your cellphone light

                                          use a spring from an old pen

                                            quick and easy iphone speaker

                                              user binder clips

                                                wrap a wet paper towel around your beverage

                                                  put pancake mix in a ketchup bottle

                                                    clean out an old lotion bottle for your beach

                                                      use a muffin tin to serve condiments at a bbq

                                                        doritos are great for kindling

                                                          use nail polish to identify different keys

                                                            use a hanging shoe rack to store cleaning supplies

                                                              freeze grapes to chill white wine without

                                                                use paper clips to organize your cables

                                                                  almost finished your jar of nutella

                                                                    sick of having a box full of tangled

                                                                      unroll the rim to increase the capacity

                                                                        cut open toilet paper rolls and use as a cuff

                                                                          remove the stem from strawberries

                                                                            turn an old bottle into a simple little cord holder

                                                                              for iced coffee and iced cappuccino, use frozen coffee cubes

                                                                                how to fold a fitted bed sheet

                                                                                  tired of snoozing past your alarm

                                                                                    place a rubber band around an open paint can to wipe your brush on

                                                                                      ut a wooden spoon across a boiling pot

                                                                                        use bread clips to save flip-flops

                                                                                          take pictures of friends holding items

                                                                                            how i always know which headphone is the left one

                                                                                              put a stocking over the end of a vacuum

                                                                                                How to make sure you drink enough water

                                                                                                  user a can opener to open blister

                                                                                                    good sandwich guide

                                                                                                      turn your muffin pans upside down

                                                                                                        50 pounds of groceries and living on the 5th floor

                                                                                                          the right way to make a blt

                                                                                                            add one teaspoon of baking soda

                                                                                                              38

                                                                                                                hair straighteners equals to collar irons

                                                                                                                  stack your clothes vertically to see them all

                                                                                                                    the right way to make cookies in the summer

                                                                                                                      how to clean a blender

                                                                                                                        the right way to eat a popsicle

                                                                                                                          use bread clips to label and organize power cords

                                                                                                                            to get the built up residue off of your shower head

                                                                                                                              user a hair clip to orgainize long wires

                                                                                                                                a frozen saturated sponge in a bag

                                                                                                                                  rub stuck zipper teeth with a graphite pencil

                                                                                                                                    use a soda pop tab

                                                                                                                                      50

                                                                                                                                        51 How to multiply large numbers in your head.

                                                                                                                                          52 How to open a bottle if you dont have a corkscrew.

                                                                                                                                            rub a walnut on damaged wooden furniture

                                                                                                                                              kids fall out of bed

                                                                                                                                                use toothpaste to clear up hazy car

                                                                                                                                                  58

                                                                                                                                                    59 keep pizza out while driving home

                                                                                                                                                      60 put your straw through the tab to keep it from rising

                                                                                                                                                        hold oreos with a fork so your fingers

                                                                                                                                                          Never lose your remotes again

                                                                                                                                                            hiding your emergency money

                                                                                                                                                              use a bread tab to hold your spot on a roll

                                                                                                                                                                if you are at a hotel and run out of chargers

                                                                                                                                                                  keep a square of cardboard in a ziplock bag

                                                                                                                                                                    If you need to pee or smoke at a bar

                                                                                                                                                                      drill holes in the bottom of your garbage

                                                                                                                                                                        use an accented letter as your passcode

                                                                                                                                                                          use a squeeze ketchup bottle top with your shopvac

                                                                                                                                                                            do something unusual when locking the door

                                                                                                                                                                              when heating leftovers space out a circle in the middle

                                                                                                                                                                                dont burn yourself in those hard to reach candles

                                                                                                                                                                                  put a small amount of water in a glass when you microwave your pizza

                                                                                                                                                                                    75 use a piece of paper to organize

                                                                                                                                                                                      use half a pool noodle

                                                                                                                                                                                        pencil case to store cables

                                                                                                                                                                                          78 clothespin to hold nail

                                                                                                                                                                                            79 make blts

                                                                                                                                                                                              80 take a picture of your fridge

                                                                                                                                                                                                81 fill plastic water bottles

                                                                                                                                                                                                  82 right ways to eat chips

                                                                                                                                                                                                    99 if your plug keeps failing

                                                                                                                                                                                                      100 put the banana on the wire

                                                                                                                                                                                                        88 before you throw away a post it

                                                                                                                                                                                                          Source: Reddit LifeProTips

                                                                                                                                                                                                          There you go, 100 awesome life hacks that you can try right now to make your life a lot easier!

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