Advertising
Advertising

5 Ways to Turn Pessimism into Healthy Optimism

5 Ways to Turn Pessimism into Healthy Optimism

My father once asked me whether I knew what the difference between an optimist and a pessimist was? I said no, and he told me that in a difficult situation a pessimist says “it absolutely can’t get any worse than this”, while an optimist says that “oh, yes, it can!” Being an optimist myself, I found this to be quite amusing.

The majority of people are very aware of the fact that living as an optimist is far better than being a pessimist. Indeed, how can having a such a negative vision of the surrounding world serve us any good? However, despite most of us understanding this, our behavior is far from optimistic. As we grow up, we become more responsible, we get into the work life, people around us fall sick, taxes, children growing up, etc. Life just seems to get more difficult with every coming year. We can all agree that being a pessimist just seems like the easier choice.

The goal is not to blindly believe in a better tomorrow, but to understand why tomorrow can be better than today. Permanent happiness is nonexistent, at least not in Western society. To be honest, happiness isn’t even what optimism is about. Instead, happiness is something that arises from healthy optimism, from the understanding that the world is not trying to make our life more difficult for us. Optimism with a portion of realism is what we should aim at. To understand it better, let us look at some examples of how the mentality of a pessimist differs from that of an optimist.

1. Taking risks

At first glance, it may seem that when it comes to taking risks, being a pessimist might actually be a good thing. A risk means potential failure, and therefore it is good to analyze all of the possible dangers and to be aware of them beforehand. This way we are able to prepare for them to the best of our ability. However, the problem with this is that pessimists tend to focus on dangers a lot more than on the success itself, which hinders the whole risk-taking process. Moreover, if the chances to succeed are not high enough, the risk may never be taken.

Advertising

Optimists, in this case, focus on success and look for ways to achieve it. With healthy optimism, the potential dangers are also seen, but they are just not perceived as critically even if they do occur. If it happens, it happens – is the usual attitude.

Lastly, because the dangers are not given as much value as they are given by pessimists, bigger risks with more significant outcomes can be made. As the saying goes, “nothing ventured, nothing gained”.

2. Temporary vs permanent

A very common characteristic of pessimism is to see problems as permanent. For example, imagine a business situation where the sales have dropped for whatever reason. A pessimist will most likely think that the sales have dropped for good. This will result in excessive panicking and a potential withdrawal from the market. At other times the business owner may just give up.

An optimist in the same situation will give it some time before making any radical moves. That patience and belief in a better future not only reduces the amount of stress, but also allows space for readjusting to the situation and learning a lesson from it. Instead of panic, a new strategy may come into place, creating more opportunity for further success.

Advertising

3. Generalisation

Have you ever noticed how one single problem may freak a person out to the extent that they become hysterical? Or have you ever heard people say that their day sucks because everything seems to go wrong? If so, most likely this person has a pessimistic approach to life.

With pessimism, people often generalize problems and make them a lot bigger than what they really are. Whenever a problem occurs, they tend to see a whole lot of other problems added on to it too.

With optimism, a problem that had occurred stands on its own. It is a problem of a specific situation, and nothing more. It is also dealt with in isolation from other problems. This, once again, reduces the amount of stress, anxiety and confusion, and allows for a quicker solution to come.

4. Me vs they

With pessimism, a lot of what happens in the world is directly linked to the person that is observing it. For example, if someone gives a pessimist a funny look, they may take it personally and think that the one looking has something negative to think or say about them. An optimist in this situation will either not care, or think that the person may simply be having a bad day.

Advertising

Another example is related to driving a car. A pessimist, making a mistake on the road, will often say that all the other drivers are wrong, and might even call them names. An optimist minds his own business and puts more focus on the road instead of the driving skills of others.

5. Being open and honest

The same people that focus more on the negative, are the same people that have troubles trusting others. When it comes to a loving relationship, pessimists usually need more time to get accustomed to the other person and to trust them. While they are not necessarily selfish, they may have troubles believing in one hundred per cent honesty of the other person. Therefore, it is safe to say that if a relationship gets tough, you would rather be in one with an optimist.

Pessimists tend to anticipate some kind of hidden agenda from others. For example, one person may be helping another with a move to a different city, or with teaching them a foreign language. The one helping might want to ask for money for either the petrol that was used for the move, or for the many hours spent helping to learn the new language. A pessimist in this moment might disregard all of the value and help received, and instead focus only on the part where they have to pay that person. They think that the money was the main reason why they were helped.

An optimist in this case not only focuses primarily on the valuable information and help received, but also on paying the person before they even ask for it. Optimists understand that help from others is worth a lot and that people offering it need to be thanked in some way, be it money or help in return.

Advertising

Even though the benefits of optimism are apparent, people have a hard time living it. Optimism is not something you follow once in a while, but rather a lifestyle. And while many people focus more on the negative, the majority of people are a mix of the two, which is also not bad.

However, if you feel that you belong more to the first group of people, I urge you to reconsider your world views. Use the above examples to be aware of the way you look at life. Not only will optimism help you to experience more joy, peace and happiness, but you will be able to positively affect the people around you.

More by this author

Victor Stepanchikov

Software Engineer, Blogger, Personal Development Freak

5 Ways to Turn Pessimism into Healthy Optimism Make Money 6 False Beliefs You Must Let Go of to Make Money Efficiently 2 Things You Must Let Go to Find Happiness and Satisfaction 12 Fundamental Time Management Tips that Will Change Your Life

Trending in Brain

1 How to Use Your Unconscious Mind to Get What You Want 2 11 Essential Philosophy Books That Will Open Your Mind 3 What Is Analysis Paralysis (And How to Overcome It) 4 How to Unleash the 4 Types of Creativity In You 5 What Are Creative Problem Solving Skills (And How To Improve Yours)

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on November 2, 2020

How to Use Your Unconscious Mind to Get What You Want

How to Use Your Unconscious Mind to Get What You Want

I get my best ideas when I’m not trying—when I’m zoning out in the shower or taking my dog for a walk. Suddenly, something I’ve been racking my brain to figure out seems to just come to me. It may seem like magic, but it’s actually just my unconscious mind coming through for the win.

What Is Conscious Thought?

Let’s start by explaining what the unconscious mind is not. I want you to think about what your dream house would look like if money were no object. Then, think about where you were the first time you can remember feeling joy.

That voice in your head that was talking you through those two tasks is your conscious mind. Simply put, any thought process that you are aware of (conscious of) is part of your conscious mind. I’m using my conscious mind as I sit here and write this article.

One of the major brain centers for conscious thought is in your prefrontal cortex. This is on the outside of your brain behind your forehead. Some of the downsides of conscious thought are that it’s energetically taxing and finite. What I mean is, your conscious mind can only think one thing at a time, and it burns through a lot of glucose to do so.

Try to figure out the square root of 2400 while creating a grocery list. You can skip back and forth between those two tasks, but your conscious mind can’t wrestle with both simultaneously.

Also, think of a time when you were utilizing your conscious mind for an extended period. Maybe you were in classes all day or busy with a tough work task late into the night. You were probably exhausted after such intensive and extended conscious thought.

What Is the Unconscious Mind?

That’s why the unconscious mind is such a valuable resource. It isn’t energy taxing, and it is virtually limitless. Your unconscious mind could be trying to figure out thousands of problems right now.

Advertising

The downside is that you aren’t conscious of any of it until you are—until your unconscious thoughts make it into your consciousness.

That’s why it behooves us to figure out how to create the right environment for our unconscious minds to flourish.

System 1 and System 2 Thinking

Daniel Kahneman’s seminal book Thinking, Fast and Slow gives us another way to think about the difference between the unconscious and conscious minds. Kahneman describes two different modes of thought called System 1 and System 2.

System 1 is quick, emotional, and intuitive, while System 2 is slow, methodical, and logical. System 1 works in tandem with System 2.

For example, if you see someone looking at you, your System 1 might assume they are upset with you. Then, your System 2 takes over to process information and discern what might actually be going on at that moment.

Kahneman warns us that System 1 and System 2 are metaphors for how the mind works.[1] It would be an oversimplification to try to explain specific regions where System 1 and System 2 thinking takes place. However, System 1 and 2 is a powerful way of thinking about different modes of thinking. Kahneman calls System 1 automatic thinking and System 2 effortful.

The idea of focus is key here. In a famous experiment, participants were told to watch a video and count how many times people in the video passed a ball to each other. This required their System 2 thinking. However, the intense focus required for this experiment caused most people to miss the fact that while the people in the video were passing the ball, a person in a gorilla suit slowly made his way through the shot.

Advertising

How to Make Your Unconscious Mind Work For You

Focusing too intensely can cause us to miss details and solutions better suited to our unconscious mind. That’s why we sometimes have to stop and chill out, instead of forcing solutions.

Here are five ways to make your unconscious mind work for you.

1. Manage Stress

Your unconscious mind is not a big fan of you being stressed out, overworked, or overwhelmed. Managing stress is important if you want to be able to come up with those effortless “aha!” ideas.

Imagine that you’re under a strict work deadline. Your anxiety is compounded by the fact that you’re worried about losing your job and that your entire family relies on your income. This is an incredible amount of pressure that makes it tough for your unconscious mind to break through with that effortless creativity.

Think back to the video where the person in the gorilla suit sneaks through all the people passing the ball around. Most people are so focused on the task at hand that they don’t see the most interesting part of the video. Stress and pressure can lead to a kind of tunnel vision that works the same way. Our attention becomes so narrowly focused that we aren’t able to zoom out and connect the dots between broader patterns and ideas.

That’s why it’s crucial to find ways to manage stress. I recently spoke with humor engineer Drew Tarvin who explained the 4 R’s of managing stress.[2]

First, try to reduce stress by eliminating stressors from your life. This might mean finding a less stressful job or leaving earlier for work.

Advertising

Next, reframe the stresses that you can’t eliminate. Reframing isn’t pretending that your stress doesn’t exist; it’s trying to think differently and change your perspective about stressors that do exist. This might mean looking at the bright side or trying to see the bigger picture. If I don’t want to quit my stressful job, I can try to reframe by thinking more about the money I make or the times I feel fulfilled at work.

The third step is to relieve stress. This means finding ways to relax throughout the day. You might try meditating or watching funny cat videos on YouTube to clear your head and relieve your stress.

Finally, refresh. Find ways to take more extensive breaks where you completely de-stress. Pre-COVID, this might have meant taking a vacation to a beach somewhere. But now, you’ll have to get more creative as you find ways to put your phone down, forget about work, and come back completely refreshed.

2. Take Breaks

Part of stress management is taking breaks. But taking breaks is also an important part of tapping into your unconscious mind.

When I’m trying to figure out how to structure an article or put together ideas for a larger project, I schedule in time to completely put the project down. This allows my unconscious mind the freedom to come up with some truly novel solutions, and unlike conscious thought, it feels effortless.

This is that experience of the light bulb suddenly going on while you’re showering or driving to work. When you aren’t focused on anything in particular, your unconscious mind has the quiet it needs to bubble up to become conscious thought.

So, take breaks. One strategy is what’s called the Pomodoro Technique, which is when you stop to take a five-minute break after every 25 minutes of work. This allows you to recharge. Plus, by systematically easing your intense focus, you are giving your unconscious mind opportunities to come up with some truly novel ideas.

Advertising

3. Get Creative

The unconscious mind is great at effortlessly seeing patterns and finding interesting solutions, but for this to happen, it needs some inspiration. That means creating and consuming as much creativity as you can.

Pick up an artistic or creative hobby. Paint, write, build, or dance. It’s also helpful to consume creativity. Go to museums, read poetry, and walk in nature. Taking in creativity with your conscious mind will give your unconscious mind all the inspiration it needs to be able to do its thing.

4. Don’t Force It

The most crucial takeaway about the unconscious mind is that you can’t force it. You can struggle and strain all you want when you’re using your conscious mind, but the unconscious mind can only bubble to the surface when you aren’t trying so hard.

Think back to that phenomenon of having an aha moment while you’re showering or walking your dog. The unconscious mind is better able to break through when you aren’t focused so intensely on whatever it is you’re trying to solve.

So, relax and give yourself some time and space. That’s when your unconscious mind is most likely to breakthrough.

5. Play

Finally, don’t forget about the power of play. Play is inherently fun, and a playful mode of thinking allows your unconscious mind more of a chance to innovate. If you turn your task into a game, you’ll be more relaxed, have more fun, and collaborate better with your colleagues. That means you’ll be more likely to riff and get to a more creative “unconscious mind” solution.

You can also add play throughout your day to tap into this freer, less constrained kind of thinking. Turn your commute into a game, play hide and seek with your children, or join a local bowling league. This will help you get reacquainted with your childlike sense of joy, wonder, and curiosity—all key ingredients to nurturing and fostering your unconscious mind.

Final Thoughts

Dealing with and utilizing your unconscious mind is very different from doing so with your conscious mind. Tapping your unconscious mind is a technique that, when done right, can help you get what you want by untapping your potential.

Featured photo credit: Katerina Jerabkova via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next