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Be Together For The Right Reasons. Don’t Rush. Don’t Settle For Less.

Be Together For The Right Reasons. Don’t Rush. Don’t Settle For Less.

Many of us are taught that all we need for a good relationship is someone whose company we enjoy, together with a sense of mutual attraction. However, as we get older, it becomes apparent that basic compatibility isn’t enough for a happy partnership. You’ve probably had the experience of dating someone “nice” who didn’t really make you happy, yet you felt compelled to carry on seeing them in the hope that it would somehow work out. This is a recipe for misery. Save yourself from unnecessary heartache by vowing to stay with a partner for the right reasons. The following are several of the most common reasons why people tend to stay together even when they are not truly compatible and would be better off apart.

Reason #1 The Fear Of Being Single Or Lonely

If you have ever watched all your friends pair off, get married and have children, while you are still single, you may feel as though there is something wrong with you or something unlovable about you. This is a dangerous mindset because it can lead you to commit to an unsuitable partner just so you have someone to call your own. If you feel lonely, work on widening your social network and enjoying your own company so that you never fall into the trap of dating someone just for the sake of having someone to talk to.

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Reason #2 Hope That Your Partner Will Magically Meet All Your Needs

Some people never teach themselves how to fulfil their own needs, so they stay with a partner in the hope that the other person will somehow make them happy, complete and able to finally chase after their personal goals. If this sounds familiar, you should be aware that no one else can make you happy. If you are not content in yourself, you cannot be fully present in your relationship. Fortunately, the tendency to rely on others for your happiness can be overcome by building a strong foundation of self-esteem. When you are happy in yourself and focusing on your own life goals, you will feel a fundamental sense of security, even if you are single for a long time.

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Reason #3 The Fear Of Losing Resources Such As Finances Or A Social Network

If your partner has plenty of material resources or has introduced you to a whole new circle of friends, you may be extremely reluctant to end the relationship. You may worry that you’ll miss out on spending time with people you like or that you’ll need to adapt to a lower standard of living. Some people also find that they are reluctant to part ways with their partner because even though the relationship is no longer working, they love their partner’s family more than their own and would miss the support. If this describes your situation, work on finding other sources of support (whether financial or social) so that you can face up to the possibility of leaving your partner without having to fear a drop in your quality of life. Remember that leaving an unsuitable relationship will make you significantly happier over the long run, as you will be free to meet someone who is a better match.

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Choose To Put Your Happiness First

Relationships are not always straightforward, but choosing the right partner and making the effort to lay the groundwork for a healthy partnership is worth the investment. Learn from your past experiences, work on making yourself the best person you can be, and make sure your relationship attitudes are healthy. Then, you will be able to attract the right partner into your life. Staying with the wrong person may be easier over the short-term, but you will never be truly happy and fulfilled unless you know your relationship is continuing for all the right reasons – mutual love, attraction, compatibility and shared life goals.

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Jay Hill

Jay writes about communication and happiness on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

More About Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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