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Be Together For The Right Reasons. Don’t Rush. Don’t Settle For Less.

Be Together For The Right Reasons. Don’t Rush. Don’t Settle For Less.

Many of us are taught that all we need for a good relationship is someone whose company we enjoy, together with a sense of mutual attraction. However, as we get older, it becomes apparent that basic compatibility isn’t enough for a happy partnership. You’ve probably had the experience of dating someone “nice” who didn’t really make you happy, yet you felt compelled to carry on seeing them in the hope that it would somehow work out. This is a recipe for misery. Save yourself from unnecessary heartache by vowing to stay with a partner for the right reasons. The following are several of the most common reasons why people tend to stay together even when they are not truly compatible and would be better off apart.

Reason #1 The Fear Of Being Single Or Lonely

If you have ever watched all your friends pair off, get married and have children, while you are still single, you may feel as though there is something wrong with you or something unlovable about you. This is a dangerous mindset because it can lead you to commit to an unsuitable partner just so you have someone to call your own. If you feel lonely, work on widening your social network and enjoying your own company so that you never fall into the trap of dating someone just for the sake of having someone to talk to.

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Reason #2 Hope That Your Partner Will Magically Meet All Your Needs

Some people never teach themselves how to fulfil their own needs, so they stay with a partner in the hope that the other person will somehow make them happy, complete and able to finally chase after their personal goals. If this sounds familiar, you should be aware that no one else can make you happy. If you are not content in yourself, you cannot be fully present in your relationship. Fortunately, the tendency to rely on others for your happiness can be overcome by building a strong foundation of self-esteem. When you are happy in yourself and focusing on your own life goals, you will feel a fundamental sense of security, even if you are single for a long time.

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Reason #3 The Fear Of Losing Resources Such As Finances Or A Social Network

If your partner has plenty of material resources or has introduced you to a whole new circle of friends, you may be extremely reluctant to end the relationship. You may worry that you’ll miss out on spending time with people you like or that you’ll need to adapt to a lower standard of living. Some people also find that they are reluctant to part ways with their partner because even though the relationship is no longer working, they love their partner’s family more than their own and would miss the support. If this describes your situation, work on finding other sources of support (whether financial or social) so that you can face up to the possibility of leaving your partner without having to fear a drop in your quality of life. Remember that leaving an unsuitable relationship will make you significantly happier over the long run, as you will be free to meet someone who is a better match.

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Choose To Put Your Happiness First

Relationships are not always straightforward, but choosing the right partner and making the effort to lay the groundwork for a healthy partnership is worth the investment. Learn from your past experiences, work on making yourself the best person you can be, and make sure your relationship attitudes are healthy. Then, you will be able to attract the right partner into your life. Staying with the wrong person may be easier over the short-term, but you will never be truly happy and fulfilled unless you know your relationship is continuing for all the right reasons – mutual love, attraction, compatibility and shared life goals.

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Jay Hill

Freelance Writer

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Last Updated on May 17, 2019

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

This Is What Happens When You Move Out Of the Comfort Zone

The pursuit of worthwhile goals is a part of what makes life enjoyable. Being able to set a goal, then see yourself progress towards achieving that goal is an amazing feeling.

But do you know the biggest obstacle for most people trying to achieve their goals, the silent dream killer that stops people before they ever even get started? That obstacle is the comfort zone, and getting stuck there is bound to derail any efforts you make towards achieving the goals you’ve set for yourself.

If you want to achieve those goals, you’ll have to break free from your comfort zone. Let’s take a look at how your life will change once you build up the courage to leave your comfort zone.

What Is the Comfort Zone?

The comfort zone is defined as “a behavioural state within which a person operates in an anxiety-neutral condition, using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.”

What stands out to me the most about that definition is the last part: “using a limited set of behaviours to deliver a steady level of performance.” How many successful people do you know who deliver a steady level of performance?

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The goal in life is to continually challenge yourself, and continually improve yourself. And in order to do that, you have move out of your comfort zone. But once you do, your life will start to change in ways you could never have imagined. I know because it’s happening right now in my own life.

Here’s what I’ve learned.

1. You will be scared

Leaving your comfort zone isn’t easy. In fact, in can be downright terrifying at times, and that’s okay. It’s perfectly normal to feel a little trepidation when you’re embarking on a journey that forces you to try new things.

So don’t freak out or get overwhelmed when you feel yourself getting a little scared. It’s perfectly normal and all part of the process. What’s important is that you don’t let that fear hold you back. You must continue to take action in the face of fear.

That’s what separates winners from losers.

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2. You will fail

Stepping out of your comfort zone means you’re moving into uncharted territory. You’re trying things that you’ve never tried before, and learning things you’ve never learned before.

That steep learning curve means you’re not going to get everything right the first time, and you will eventually fail when you move out of your comfort zone. But as long as the failures aren’t catastrophic, it can actually be a good thing to fail because …

3. You will learn

Failure is the best teacher. I’ve learned more from each one of my failures than I have from each one of my successes. When you fail small, and fail often, you rapidly increase the rate at which you learn new insights and skills. And that new knowledge, if applied correctly, will eventually lead to your success.

4. You will see yourself in a different way

Once you move out of your comfort zone, you immediately prove to yourself that you’re capable of achieving more than you thought was possible. And that will change the way you see yourself.

Moving forward, you’ll have more confidence in yourself whenever you step out of your comfort zone, and that increased confidence will make it more likely that you continue to step outside your comfort zone. And each time you do, you’ll prove to yourself again and again what you’re really capable of.

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5. Your peers will see you in a different way

Whether we want to admit or not, people judge other people. And right now, people view you in a certain way, and they have a certain idea of what you’re capable of. That’s because they’ve become accustomed to seeing you operate in your comfort zone.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you’ll prove to other people, as well, that you’re capable of much more than you’ve shown in the past.

The increased confidence other people place in you will bring about more opportunities than ever before.

6. Your comfort zone will expand

The good thing about the comfort zone is that it’s flexible and malleable. With each action you take outside of your comfort zone, it expands. And once you master that new skill or action, it eventually becomes part of your comfort zone.

This is great news for you because it means that you can constantly increase and improve upon the behaviors that you’re comfortable with. And the more tools and skills you have at your disposal, the easier it will be to achieve your goals.

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7. You will increase your concentration and focus

When you’re living inside of your comfort zone, the bulk of your actions are habitual: automatic, subconscious, and requiring limited focus.

But once you move out of your comfort zone, you no longer rely on those habitual responses. You’re forced to concentrate and focus on the new action in a way you never do in your comfort zone.

8. You will develop new skills

Moving out of your comfort zone requires that you develop new skills. One of the many benefits you’ll experience is that you’ll be stepping away from the “limited set of behaviors” and start to develop your ability and expertise in new areas.

Living inside of your comfort zone only requires a limited skill set, and those skills won’t contribute much to your success. Once you can confidently step outside of your comfort zone and learn a new skill, there’s no limit to how much you can achieve.

9. You will achieve more than before

With everything that happens once you move out of your comfort zone, you’re naturally going to achieve more than ever before.

Your increased concentration and focus will help you develop new skills. Those new skills will change the way you see yourself, encouraging you to step even further out of your comfort zone.

Featured photo credit: Josef Grunig via farm3.staticflickr.com

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