Buying Intimacy Is No Longer Weird In This Pay-to-Play Economy

Buying Intimacy Is No Longer Weird In This Pay-to-Play Economy

We put human relationships – friendship, intimacy, and romance on a pedestal. In fact, we sometimes put it so high that we’re unwilling to admit when they aren’t so great. We stay in relationships longer than we should and we often lie about being happy.

In truth, a lot of what makes a relationship great is just communication. That, and proximity.

The same goes for friendship.

Throughout our entire lives, our friends are the people we communicate and bond with the most. Essentially, these are our most successful relationships.


Half the battle when it comes to bonding is just being with someone, spending time with them and getting to know them. You can connect and have fun with just about anyone if you approach that person with the right mindset.

What about intimate relationships?

Here is where things get a little tricky. While communication is important, it requires a lot more physical connection. This does not always work out well because there is always another person in the equation.

Especially, when they are incapable or unwilling to fulfill your needs.


This is the reason many people are engaging in activities like sexting. These online dating services allow you to browse profiles of prospective companions. You can choose who you envision to be your perfect mate and actually connect with them. You couldn’t ask for better in an “organic” encounter. (And, question whether the nagging thoughts telling you otherwise are lingering cultural bias, not rationality.)

Who has the time for real life?

We live in a world where few people have time for much of a personal life. Those with the least spare time also tend to have the highest incomes. Time is a more valuable commodity than money for many people. Why, then, would it make sense to spend a significant chunk of that time trying to build a relationship?

It is easier just to pay for it and not have to commit.  Not to mention, you never have to leave the comfort of your on home.


This goes double for sexual relationships, which are a whole other level of commitment. Having a significant other means sacrificing precious time and may result in less intimacy.

Paying for sex can be a better bargain

Why bother committing when you can just hop on a site like and get the attention you need? You’re guaranteed to get what you want and do it with your sanity intact.  Which is more than can be said for some traditional dating these days. Visions of someone playing PokeMon Go in a posh restaurant on the first date may come to mind.

Paying for intimacy might seem like a big shift to make, but it isn’t as much of a leap as you might think. We already pay to bond with other people. We buy drinks at bars and pay for dinner on a first date.


The shift towards acceptance has already started. Better get used to it!

We live in a world that has introduced capitalist impulses into every part of life. Intimacy and socialization are not as sacred as we’d like to believe. Ultimately, putting these things up for sale means that many busy people can access them. Whether it’s the ‘real thing’ or not, any interaction is better than none at all.

Many will say that modern people don’t have the time to indulge our desires for socialization the old-fashioned way.  But, few will admit that it is a development we can reverse. The breakneck pace of modern life will have to slow down somewhat for the sake of our collective sanity.

There’s no going back to the days when you knew the name, birthday and favorite color of every person in town. We need to stop thinking of people buying companionship as weird. It’s actually might be weirder if they didn’t.

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Madeline Foster

Free Lance Writer

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Last Updated on March 13, 2019

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

How to Get out of a Rut: 12 Useful Ways to Get Unstuck

Have you gotten into a rut before? Or are you in a rut right now?

You know you’re in a rut when you run out of ideas and inspiration. I personally see a rut as a productivity vacuum. It might very well be a reason why you aren’t getting results. Even as you spend more time on your work, you can’t seem to get anything constructive done. While I’m normally productive, I get into occasional ruts (especially when I’ve been working back-to-back without rest). During those times, I can spend an entire day in front of the computer and get nothing done. It can be quite frustrating.

Over time, I have tried and found several methods that are helpful to pull me out of a rut. If you experience ruts too, whether as a working professional, a writer, a blogger, a student or other work, you will find these useful. Here are 12 of my personal tips to get out of ruts:

1. Work on the small tasks.

When you are in a rut, tackle it by starting small. Clear away your smaller tasks which have been piling up. Reply to your emails, organize your documents, declutter your work space, and reply to private messages.

Whenever I finish doing that, I generate a positive momentum which I bring forward to my work.

2. Take a break from your work desk.

Get yourself away from your desk and go take a walk. Go to the washroom, walk around the office, go out and get a snack.

Your mind is too bogged down and needs some airing. Sometimes I get new ideas right after I walk away from my computer.


3. Upgrade yourself

Take the down time to upgrade yourself. Go to a seminar. Read up on new materials (#7). Pick up a new language. Or any of the 42 ways here to improve yourself.

The modern computer uses different typefaces because Steve Jobs dropped in on a calligraphy class back in college. How’s that for inspiration?

4. Talk to a friend.

Talk to someone and get your mind off work for a while.

Talk about anything, from casual chatting to a deep conversation about something you really care about. You will be surprised at how the short encounter can be rejuvenating in its own way.

5. Forget about trying to be perfect.

If you are in a rut, the last thing you want to do is step on your own toes with perfectionist tendencies.

Just start small. Do what you can, at your own pace. Let yourself make mistakes.

Soon, a little trickle of inspiration will come. And then it’ll build up with more trickles. Before you know it, you have a whole stream of ideas.


6. Paint a vision to work towards.

If you are continuously getting in a rut with your work, maybe there’s no vision inspiring you to move forward.

Think about why you are doing this, and what you are doing it for. What is the end vision in mind?

Make it as vivid as possible. Make sure it’s a vision that inspires you and use that to trigger you to action.

7. Read a book (or blog).

The things we read are like food to our brain. If you are out of ideas, it’s time to feed your brain with great materials.

Here’s a list of 40 books you can start off with. Stock your browser with only the feeds of high quality blogs, such as, DumbLittleMan, Seth Godin’s Blog, Tim Ferris’ Blog, Zen Habits or The Personal Excellence Blog.

Check out the best selling books; those are generally packed with great wisdom.

8. Have a quick nap.

If you are at home, take a quick nap for about 20-30 minutes. This clears up your mind and gives you a quick boost. Nothing quite like starting off on a fresh start after catching up on sleep.


9. Remember why you are doing this.

Sometimes we lose sight of why we do what we do, and after a while we become jaded. A quick refresher on why you even started on this project will help.

What were you thinking when you thought of doing this? Retrace your thoughts back to that moment. Recall why you are doing this. Then reconnect with your muse.

10. Find some competition.

Nothing quite like healthy competition to spur us forward. If you are out of ideas, then check up on what people are doing in your space.

Colleagues at work, competitors in the industry, competitors’ products and websites, networking conventions.. you get the drill.

11. Go exercise.

Since you are not making headway at work, might as well spend the time shaping yourself up.

Sometimes we work so much that we neglect our health and fitness. Go jog, swim, cycle, whichever exercise you prefer.

As you improve your physical health, your mental health will improve, too. The different facets of ourselves are all interlinked.


Here’re 15 Tips to Restart the Exercise Habit (and How to Keep It).

12. Take a good break.

Ruts are usually signs that you have been working too long and too hard. It’s time to get a break.

Beyond the quick tips above, arrange for a 1-day or 2-days of break from your work. Don’t check your (work) emails or do anything work-related. Relax and do your favorite activities. You will return to your work recharged and ready to start.

Contrary to popular belief, the world will not end from taking a break from your work. In fact, you will be much more ready to make an impact after proper rest. My best ideas and inspiration always hit me whenever I’m away from my work.

Take a look at this to learn the importance of rest: The Importance of Scheduling Downtime

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Featured photo credit: Joshua Earle via

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