Buying Intimacy Is No Longer Weird In This Pay-to-Play Economy

Buying Intimacy Is No Longer Weird In This Pay-to-Play Economy

We put human relationships – friendship, intimacy, and romance on a pedestal. In fact, we sometimes put it so high that we’re unwilling to admit when they aren’t so great. We stay in relationships longer than we should and we often lie about being happy.

In truth, a lot of what makes a relationship great is just communication. That, and proximity.

The same goes for friendship.

Throughout our entire lives, our friends are the people we communicate and bond with the most. Essentially, these are our most successful relationships.


Half the battle when it comes to bonding is just being with someone, spending time with them and getting to know them. You can connect and have fun with just about anyone if you approach that person with the right mindset.

What about intimate relationships?

Here is where things get a little tricky. While communication is important, it requires a lot more physical connection. This does not always work out well because there is always another person in the equation.

Especially, when they are incapable or unwilling to fulfill your needs.


This is the reason many people are engaging in activities like sexting. These online dating services allow you to browse profiles of prospective companions. You can choose who you envision to be your perfect mate and actually connect with them. You couldn’t ask for better in an “organic” encounter. (And, question whether the nagging thoughts telling you otherwise are lingering cultural bias, not rationality.)

Who has the time for real life?

We live in a world where few people have time for much of a personal life. Those with the least spare time also tend to have the highest incomes. Time is a more valuable commodity than money for many people. Why, then, would it make sense to spend a significant chunk of that time trying to build a relationship?

It is easier just to pay for it and not have to commit.  Not to mention, you never have to leave the comfort of your on home.


This goes double for sexual relationships, which are a whole other level of commitment. Having a significant other means sacrificing precious time and may result in less intimacy.

Paying for sex can be a better bargain

Why bother committing when you can just hop on a site like and get the attention you need? You’re guaranteed to get what you want and do it with your sanity intact.  Which is more than can be said for some traditional dating these days. Visions of someone playing PokeMon Go in a posh restaurant on the first date may come to mind.

Paying for intimacy might seem like a big shift to make, but it isn’t as much of a leap as you might think. We already pay to bond with other people. We buy drinks at bars and pay for dinner on a first date.


The shift towards acceptance has already started. Better get used to it!

We live in a world that has introduced capitalist impulses into every part of life. Intimacy and socialization are not as sacred as we’d like to believe. Ultimately, putting these things up for sale means that many busy people can access them. Whether it’s the ‘real thing’ or not, any interaction is better than none at all.

Many will say that modern people don’t have the time to indulge our desires for socialization the old-fashioned way.  But, few will admit that it is a development we can reverse. The breakneck pace of modern life will have to slow down somewhat for the sake of our collective sanity.

There’s no going back to the days when you knew the name, birthday and favorite color of every person in town. We need to stop thinking of people buying companionship as weird. It’s actually might be weirder if they didn’t.

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Madeline Foster

Free Lance Writer

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Last Updated on September 20, 2018

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

How to Stay Calm and Cool When You Are Extremely Stressful

Being in a hurry all the time drains your energy. Your work and routine life make you feel overwhelmed. Getting caught up in things beyond your control stresses you out…

If you’d like to stay calm and cool in stressful situations, put the following 8 steps into practice:

1. Breathe

The next time you’re faced with a stressful situation that makes you want to hurry, stop what you’re doing for one minute and perform the following steps:

  • Take five deep breaths in and out (your belly should come forward with each inhale).
  • Imagine all that stress leaving your body with each exhale.
  • Smile. Fake it if you have to. It’s pretty hard to stay grumpy with a goofy grin on your face.

Feel free to repeat the above steps every few hours at work or home if you need to.

2. Loosen up

After your breathing session, perform a quick body scan to identify any areas that are tight or tense. Clenched jaw? Rounded shoulders? Anything else that isn’t at ease?

Gently touch or massage any of your body parts that are under tension to encourage total relaxation. It might help to imagine you’re in a place that calms you: a beach, hot tub, or nature trail, for example.


3. Chew slowly

Slow down at the dinner table if you want to learn to be patient and lose weight. Shoveling your food down as fast as you can is a surefire way to eat more than you need to (and find yourself with a bellyache).

Be a mindful eater who pays attention to the taste, texture, and aroma of every dish. Chew slowly while you try to guess all of the ingredients that were used to prepare your dish.

Chewing slowly will also reduce those dreadful late-night cravings that sneak up on you after work.

4. Let go

Cliche as it sounds, it’s very effective.

The thing that seems like the end of the world right now?

It’s not. Promise.


Stressing and worrying about the situation you’re in won’t do any good because you’re already in it, so just let it go.

Letting go isn’t easy, so here’s a guide to help you:

21 Things To Do When You Find It Hard To Let Go

5. Enjoy the journey

Focusing on the end result can quickly become exhausting. Chasing a bold, audacious goal that’s going to require a lot of time and patience? Split it into several mini-goals so you’ll have several causes for celebration.

Stop focusing on the negative thoughts. Giving yourself consistent positive feedback will help you grow patience, stay encouraged, and find more joy in the process of achieving your goals.

6. Look at the big picture

The next time you find your stress level skyrocketing, take a deep breath, and ask yourself:


Will this matter to me…

  • Next week?
  • Next month?
  • Next year?
  • In 10 years?

Hint: No, it won’t.

I bet most of the stuff that stresses you wouldn’t matter the next week, maybe not even the next day.

Stop agonizing over things you can’t control because you’re only hurting yourself.

7. Stop demanding perfection of yourself

You’re not perfect and that’s okay. Show me a person who claims to be perfect and I’ll show you a dirty liar.

Demanding perfection of yourself (or anybody else) will only stress you out because it just isn’t possible.


8. Practice patience every day

Below are a few easy ways you can practice patience every day, increasing your ability to remain calm and cool in times of stress:

  • The next time you go to the grocery store, get in the longest line.
  • Instead of going through the drive-thru at your bank, go inside.
  • Take a long walk through a secluded park or trail.

Final thoughts

Staying calm in stressful situations is possible, all you need is some daily practice.

Taking deep breaths and eat mindfully are some simple ways to train your brain to be more patient. But changing the way you think of a situation and staying positive are most important in keeping cool whenever you feel overwhelmed and stressful.

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via

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