We put human relationships – friendship, intimacy, and romance on a pedestal. In fact, we sometimes put it so high that we’re unwilling to admit when they aren’t so great. We stay in relationships longer than we should and we often lie about being happy.
In truth, a lot of what makes a relationship great is just communication. That, and proximity.
The same goes for friendship.
Throughout our entire lives, our friends are the people we communicate and bond with the most. Essentially, these are our most successful relationships.
Half the battle when it comes to bonding is just being with someone, spending time with them and getting to know them. You can connect and have fun with just about anyone if you approach that person with the right mindset.
What about intimate relationships?
Here is where things get a little tricky. While communication is important, it requires a lot more physical connection. This does not always work out well because there is always another person in the equation.
Especially, when they are incapable or unwilling to fulfill your needs.
This is the reason many people are engaging in activities like sexting. These online dating services allow you to browse profiles of prospective companions. You can choose who you envision to be your perfect mate and actually connect with them. You couldn’t ask for better in an “organic” encounter. (And, question whether the nagging thoughts telling you otherwise are lingering cultural bias, not rationality.)
Who has the time for real life?
We live in a world where few people have time for much of a personal life. Those with the least spare time also tend to have the highest incomes. Time is a more valuable commodity than money for many people. Why, then, would it make sense to spend a significant chunk of that time trying to build a relationship?
It is easier just to pay for it and not have to commit. Not to mention, you never have to leave the comfort of your on home.
This goes double for sexual relationships, which are a whole other level of commitment. Having a significant other means sacrificing precious time and may result in less intimacy.
Paying for sex can be a better bargain
Why bother committing when you can just hop on a site like arousr.com and get the attention you need? You’re guaranteed to get what you want and do it with your sanity intact. Which is more than can be said for some traditional dating these days. Visions of someone playing PokeMon Go in a posh restaurant on the first date may come to mind.
Paying for intimacy might seem like a big shift to make, but it isn’t as much of a leap as you might think. We already pay to bond with other people. We buy drinks at bars and pay for dinner on a first date.
The shift towards acceptance has already started. Better get used to it!
We live in a world that has introduced capitalist impulses into every part of life. Intimacy and socialization are not as sacred as we’d like to believe. Ultimately, putting these things up for sale means that many busy people can access them. Whether it’s the ‘real thing’ or not, any interaction is better than none at all.
Many will say that modern people don’t have the time to indulge our desires for socialization the old-fashioned way. But, few will admit that it is a development we can reverse. The breakneck pace of modern life will have to slow down somewhat for the sake of our collective sanity.
There’s no going back to the days when you knew the name, birthday and favorite color of every person in town. We need to stop thinking of people buying companionship as weird. It’s actually might be weirder if they didn’t.