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One simple secret to success in 2017

One simple secret to success in 2017

Today you will learn what successful people like Tony Robbins and Tim Ferriss do instead of making New Year’s resolutions to kickstart their new year.

A lot of people have already failed their New Year’s resolutions by now, and there are many reasons why. Do you know what the best predictor of future behavior in sales marketing is? I’ll give you a hint: It’s not your desires, hobbies, or needs. It’s your past behavior. The interesting part is that this applies to many more areas in life than your consumer habits. For someone that promotes change (like me) that can be a bit demotivating. But does that mean we’re all doomed for rest of our lives like in Groundhog Day? I don’t think so. It simply means that real and lasting change may not occur over night.

I like to look at people that already accomplished what I want to do. Tim Ferriss and Anthony Robbins share one common practice at the end of each year. Instead of making New Year’s resolutions, they review their past year. I kind of like the idea of doing the opposite of the mainstream (I’m a rebel, I know), and thought why not give it a try? So, I took a step back and reviewed my 2016. Here’s what happened:

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Enter the fitness world

I started to work part-time as a trainer at a gym called West Side Fitness. After getting my certification as a strength coach back in 2012, I put the project aside. Fear of failure was probably one of the reasons. I was training friends tough during that period. After 3 years I felt the urge to set my foot in the fitness industry. I applied, got hired, and started to train clients. A life changing decision. More on that later.

Moving in with my girlfriend

My parents moved to Italy due to retirement (we were living together in Zurich, Switzerland), and my girlfriend and I moved together. Another life changing decision, and we’re still together (*victory*). I was a very selfish person when Sara and I met more than 3 years ago. Focusing entirely on me was kind of a normal state back then, and unfortunately, the feeling of emptiness, too. Sara taught me many lessons, such as the pleasure of sharing, giving, and basically not being the center of the world (all the time). I’ve learned and matured a lot since then, something I can’t thank her enough for. The good became better and the bad became… well, better too. I’ve still got a lot of work in front of me; but hey, I’m on my way.

My boss fired me

I was working part-time as a secretary at an accounting office (while going to university and working at the gym). I absolutely hated the job. Why did I stay there for 3 years? Because I could print all of my university stuff there (more than 200 pages per month) and ask them about matters regarding admin and taxes. Weak reasons, I know. While being there, I did what I needed to do. Not more, not less. They fired me because of the lack of motivation. My boss did me a HUGE favor. I sleep better now, and have more energy for stuff that matters, such as:

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Graduating in psychology

After 3 years of studying, I got my bachelor’s degree last summer. It was a wonderful time, during which I met amazing people and learned things not only related to my work today, but also for life. The decision not to follow with a master’s degree was a tough one, but also an important one, because it let me to the following:

Being broke and creating Muscle & Mind

Managing money was never one of my fortes. Being fired at the accounting office and not having much time outside finishing my studies and working as a trainer led me to a “financially restrictive phase.” I was broke; some students can probably relate to that. Honestly, I created Muscle & Mind out of anger, frustration, and the wish to conquer the world. At the beginning I had no clue about marketing, sales funnels, and product for prospects. I only knew that I needed a change in my life.

An amazing journey began, and with it an emotional rollercoaster. After a lot of research and procrastination, I got a running website, social media presence, and most importantly, I started to write. Becoming independent was without a doubt the most difficult decision I’ve made for years. I was scared (and still am sometimes), and doubted whether I could pull it off or not. But here I am today. Coaching clients and writing an article for one of the biggest lifestyle and productivity blogs in the world. Something I could never have imagined 7 or 8 months ago.

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“The people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world are the ones who do.” -Steve Jobs

Am I running a million-dollar business? Is my inbox flooded with coaching requests? No, but who knows what is going to happen in the next 7, 12, or 24 months?

Torn pectoral muscle

I torn my pec last November, and it sucks. Any kind of pressing movements are out of sight for a while. But life goes on. I’m seeing a specialist soon, and will go through rehab. Meanwhile, I’ve got more time for Sara, Muscle & Mind, squats, and deadlifts.

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Meeting one of the strongest guys in Switzerland

Daniele Pauli is strong – REALLY strong. He competes in powerlifting. His current total: 760kg (1672 pounds), 270kg (594 pounds) squats, 180kg (396 pounds) bench press, and 310kg (682) deadlift. (Sorry Daniele, if the numbers are outdated). I met him at West Side Fitness, where he occasionally trains and coaches clients. He’s the best personal trainer I know, and simply an amazing human being. He taught me so many things inside, and especially outside, the gym. Thank you, Daniele.

All in all, 2016 has been a hell of a ride for me. Big changes, and most of them were good. Some things stayed the same. I still got a lot of work in front of me, but that doesn’t worry me; actually, I’m really looking forward to it.

Reviewing your last year can be a powerful practice if you want to make 2017 a huge success. Your past doesn’t have to determine your future. And understanding where you’re coming from can be a big help in deciding where you want to go. 2017 is still fresh, but sooner than you might think you will be reviewing this year. So, take a step back, look at what happened, find out what worked and what hasn’t, change strategies where needed, and last but not least, to end with Dan Pena’s words: Just F***ing do it!

Featured photo credit: Getty Images via huffingtonpost.com

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Roberto Corbacio

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Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]

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Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.

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In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]

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Exercise

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.

Meditation

Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.

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In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via pixabay.com

Reference

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