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President Obama failed us…that’s what you came up with?

President Obama failed us…that’s what you came up with?

I speak to the whole African American community, with a focus on the entitled, obnoxious ones of us who seem to think that President Barack Obama got elected only to serve us. How disrespectful of anyone to sit back and claim that this man did not do anything for this country or our communities, after 8 years of busting his tail to improve this country all the ways he possibly could.

I would act surprised and horrified at the negative feedback from our own, but it honestly doesn’t surprise me one bit considering so many of us do nothing but tear each other down as if they get paid to do so.

    A black president doesn’t guarantee a black rights policy

    Let’s get one thing clear. Obama may have been elected because so many of us showed up and showed out at the polls both election years, but that didn’t automatically make him obligated or even able to completely advance the African American population into Easy Street. The color of Obama’s skin didn’t automatically guarantee seats at the table for everyone that looks just like him or his wife and kids, nor would that even be fair.

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    Don’t get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with wanting advancement and equality for your race. There’s nothing wrong with being pro-black and wanting to empower your community. But when was it ever okay to slight others because of their race and show favor to one particular race,as a president of the United States? And how can any of you be upset and disappointed in Obama for not doing the very thing most of you already hate Trump for actually doing? Hypocritical much?

      Stop pushing away responsibilty

      It’s time to stop spending so much effort and energy looking for people to blame,and start focusing on accountability and truth. The truth? President Obama didn’t fail the black community, nor did he ignore our cries for justice. President Obama spoke out many times on things the black community is outraged about, and did his best to promote justice and equality for all.

      Electing him did not put him under an obligation to make every single complaint black folks had his agenda. That’s what so many of these organizations we have out here are for. Join some. Already have? Join more. One can never do too much to make the world a better place starting with an individual and/or community level involvement.

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      At what point will we stop complaining about what the higher ups and celebrities AREN’T doing for us, and instead throw ourselves into the community and be the change we want to see in the world? Why spend so much time complaining over what we can’t control, instead of doing what is in our power to change what we can?

      Where the LBGTQ community succeeded

      And for those throwing out the statement that Obama did more to help the LBGTQ communities than African Americans, let’s be real. The LBGTQ communities did more to help the LBGTQ communities than African Americans did to help our communities. It wasn’t that Obama favored their community over ours. It was simply that their community united effectively, was consistent, and followed through. They showed up and showed out where it counted, their voices were heard as well as their demands for their community.

        While we were criticizing each other over what form of protest was acceptable, looking for reasons to voice outrage instead of creating demands to present where it counted, the LBGTQ community was united and solution-oriented. While we were bullying each other over religious beliefs, skin tones, and what women decide to do with their hair or weave, the LBGTQ community was focused on the changes they wanted for their community.

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        While we were busy finding stuff to be temporarily outraged about from week to week to make sure our social media accounts were popping and full of likes, the LBGTQ community was consistent, full of leadership, and wasn’t taking no for an answer.

        The bottom line? Obama didn’t work harder for the LBGTQ community..THEY worked harder and more unified for themselves. So with that being said, Obama didn’t fail us (if you are one of those who feel there was failure)…we failed ourselves.

        Don’t rely solely on a savior

        Especially if you felt one person (with his hands tied on all progress he tried to make) could have us all sitting pretty,paid, and struggle free just because he’s one of us.

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          The Bible teaches us that faith without works is dead. So basically,even the Savior himself felt that you should stop sitting back relying solely on a savior, and do YOUR part to save yourself and others.

          In the words of rapper Mystikal, “Stop ya cryin’ heffa”. Be the change.

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          Last Updated on May 21, 2019

          How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

          How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

          For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

          If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

          Example 1

          You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

          You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

          In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

          Example 2

          You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

          People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

          You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

          Example 3

          You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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          The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

          Example 4

          You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

          Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

          If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

          Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

          • Understand your own communication style
          • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
          • Communicate with precision and care
          • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

          1. Understand Your Communication Style

          To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

          In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

          Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

          2. Learn Others Communication Styles

          Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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          If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

          “How do you prefer to receive information?”

          This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

          To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

          3. Exercise Precision and Care

          A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

          On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

          Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

          I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

          I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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          In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

          The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

          Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

          4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

          Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

          In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

          “Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

          Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

          Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

          It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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          It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

          It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

          Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

          Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

          The Bottom Line

          When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

          I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

          More Articles About Effective Communication

          Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

          Reference

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