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10 Dating Hacks That Will Blow Your Mind

10 Dating Hacks That Will Blow Your Mind

When I talk to introverted men about how they feel about meeting and dating beautiful women, here’s what most of them tell me:

They tell me they feel helpless.

They tell me they feel insecure.

They tell me they feel like women hold all the power.

Any of this sound familiar to you?

If so, buckle up… you’re about to discover 10 miracle hacks that work like magic when it comes to turbo-charging your success in dating. After all, what man doesn’t want to make dating easier?

I’ve been coaching introverted men for more than 20 years now, and recently came up with an idea. I asked my subscribers for a favor. I asked them to send in the best hacks they’ve learned from us. Then, my team curated the 10 most clever tricks to make any date smoother, from harmless first glance to late-night hug. These effortless moves are guaranteed to make your dating life a success.

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1. Use the phone trick

Approaching women and starting conversations is a scary thing for most men. You know what I’m talking about. You see a beautiful woman, and you want to approach her, but your hands start sweating, your heart beats faster, and before you know it your thoughts try to make you weasel out of the approach. What if I’m not her type? What if she rejects me? What if she doesn’t like me?

A clever trick to help you beat your approach anxiety is the ability to spot which women are attracted to you before you even talk to them. I call them signs of attraction or conversation invitations. When you know that a woman is attracted to you, you’ll have a much easier time approaching her. A few simple signs to look for are eye contact, a smile, or a nod. Make no mistake: women will go out of their way to avoid making eye contact, smiling at, or nodding at men they are not attracted to (unless they already know them). So, if a woman makes eye contact, smiles at you or nods at you, you can be 99% sure she’s attracted to you. If you approach her, you will probably get a warm welcome.

So what does this have to do with your phone? Well, did you know that when you’re on the phone you’re more likely to get more signs of attraction? Yep, it’s true! I’m not sure why that is exactly, but I suspect it’s because being on the phone implies you have a social life. It also makes you look busy. A man with a social life and who is busy is more attractive to women. The second reason why I think they do this is because they feel safer. They know that you won’t just come over and approach them because you are on the phone.

So how do you use this hack? When you walk through the street, be on the phone. Check out which women give you signs of attraction. And if you happen to see one that’s exactly your type, why not approach her and start a conversation? After all, she’s attracted to you and she’s your type! Why not find out more about her? If you do this just a few times a week, I can virtually guarantee that you’ll get a date in no time. And who knows, she might be the one.

2. Imagine you’ve known her for years

Okay, so you see a woman that you are interested in and you want to approach her. How do you maximize your chance that the introduction and initial conversation goes smoothly?

Here’s a great hack for that: just imagine you’ve known her for years. There’s something really strange happening when you do this. When you imagine you already know someone, it shows in your facial expressions and micro-expressions. When you do that, she’ll see it on your face and she’ll start to think she’s known you for years, too. This puts her in a receptive mood.

Have you ever seen a person look at you from a distance, like they were trying to figure out if they knew you? Have you noticed how this made you curious too? How it made you start to wonder if you knew them too? That’s the power of this hack. I know, it sounds too easy to be true, but just try it and see for yourself.

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3. Give her your shoulders and hips after she gives you hers first

Did you know that most men blow it with women within the first minute of approaching them by turning their full body towards the woman? This telegraphs too much interest too soon. Only turn your hips and shoulders towards a woman after she has turned her full body towards you first.

4. Have a conversation structure ready for the first 30 seconds

You saw her, she gave you a conversation invitation, you imagined you already knew her, and you started a conversation with her. Now, what do you talk about? How do you make sure the conversation goes great?

Well, if you used the above three hacks, it should be enough to have a great conversation. That’s because she’s already attracted to you and you imagined you already knew her. All of this will make her contribute more to the conversation. In other words, she’ll make it easy for you.

But here’s another great hack. Did you know the first 30 seconds of a conversation are the hardest? Make sure you have a conversation structure and topics ready for the first 30 seconds. After that, it gets easy because the first 30 seconds give you some momentum. And again, if you stack this on top of the other three hacks it’s really difficult to mess things up.

5. Point one foot away to make her want you even more

If you want to really amplify her attraction for you and make her want you more, just point one foot away. Point one foot away from her, like you’re about to leave in that direction. She will probably start working harder to keep your attention. Unconsciously, she will register that you’re about to walk away.

6. Use date seeding to make her think of you long after you’re gone

If you want to set up a date with her, a great way to do it is to use what I call date seeding. This means you seed possible date ideas while talking to her. Nothing overbearing, just casually plant some little seeds.

For example:

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You: ‘So, you like art? I know this great art gallery. We should go there sometime.’

Her: ‘Sure, why not?’

Do this a few times during your conversation, then get her number or set up the date right there and then.

‘Well, this Tuesday and Friday I’m kinda busy, but Wednesday or Thursday at 7 p.m. works for me. What’s your schedule?

If you seed two or three date ideas, it gives her something to think about when you’re gone. She’ll imagine you and her together in those places. Your date will typically go much better because she’s imagined herself with you in different scenarios. If you think about it, isn’t that what we do when we fall in love? Imagine ourselves with the other person doing different things together? You bet! That’s what the mind does to make us fall in love.

7. Use eye contact, but not because of what your mom told you

Remember when your mom told you that you should make eye contact? She was right, but mostly for the wrong reasons. Well, maybe not wrong. Let’s say she only knew half of the reasons.

My parents always told me that eye contact is important because if you can’t look a person in the eye, you’re not trustworthy. And yes, that’s true. When you look a person in the eyes, it shows them that you’re confident and trustworthy. But did you know that when a man and a woman make eye contact, it does two crucial things at the same time? It builds attraction and a connection.

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If you’ve ever read dating advice, you’ll know that it’s important to build both attraction and a connection. If you only build a connection, she’ll see you as a friend. If you only build attraction, she’ll see you as superficial. So you need both. Now, most dating advice will tell you to use special techniques, gimmicks, and routines to do it. The truth is, a normal conversation with good eye contact is enough.

8. Eye contact + a pause = sexual tension

Good. So you are having a great time with your date. There is attraction, and both of you connected on a deeper level with each other.

The only thing that’s still missing is sexual tension. It’s the driving force at the center of EVERY romantic book, movie, and fantasy… You need this for your date to have the potential to evolve into something more. If there’s no sexual chemistry, it’s game over. Most men don’t know how to create sexual tension, but it’s quite simple. Just look in her eyes while leaving a pause. That’s it. That’s all there is to it. The next two hacks will help you take your sexual chemistry skills even further.

9. Look at her lips to create even more chemistry

Did you know that if you look at a woman’s lips, she’s more likely to start to have sexual thoughts? So, if you want to build up the chemistry even more, be sure to look at her lips from time to time.

10. Use emotional transfer

Have you ever heard that emotions are contagious? You’ve probably heard it many times. Well, now there’s proof. It’s thought to be because of mirror neurons we have in our brain. They allow us to feel whatever the other person is feeling.

This means you can make a woman feel whatever you want her to feel. Make sure you feel the emotion first, and keep looking into her eyes while you feel the emotion. She’ll start feeling the same way. But it only works when you create rapport with each other. So if you want to make her feel a range of different emotions on your date, you just have to go into the emotion first while looking in her eyes.

But since we’re talking about sexual chemistry, let’s see how you can use this to give her those “it’s getting hot in here” feelings. To do this, look her in the eyes while imagining making love to her. When you do, she’ll start to have the same thoughts. It works because when you imagine making love with her, you’ll start to feel aroused. Once you feel aroused, she’ll feel the same through her mirror neurons.

Dating doesn’t need to be complicated. As you can see, these simple but powerful dating hacks can make your love life a lot easier.

Featured photo credit: www.pexels.com via pexels.com

More by this author

Nick Neeson

The World’s #1 Dating Coach For Introverted Men. Founder of IntrovertedBadass.com

10 Dating Hacks That Will Blow Your Mind

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

Reference

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