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Love Is About Choosing To Accept Someone Even If You Can’t Fully Understand Them

Love Is About Choosing To Accept Someone Even If You Can’t Fully Understand Them

The relationship we have with others is important for our personal growth and often we’re made to think that we must understand our loved ones on all levels – but this isn’t entirely true.

Have you ever been in a situation where you just don’t understand or comprehend where another person is coming from – someone so close to you that you feel blindsided by their reaction or beliefs?

Perhaps they suffer from depression where their perspective of themselves and the world around them is bleak and you just feel you can’t help or fully understand them. There are often times when you offer up your support and understanding to someone feeling stressed but you’re faced with hostility or even blame.

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There are important ideas to consider when it comes to accepting our loved ones whose thoughts, beliefs, and reactions can leave us feeling confused and frustrated. But understanding these concepts show that truly loving someone else is all about acceptance and responding in a non-judgemental way.

The Importance of Empathy

Empathy towards others, or the ability to put yourself in someone else’s shoes, can go a long way in a truly loving another person. When you can’t see eye to eye on certain issues, whether it’s big things like marriage or religion, or small stuff like what to eat for dinner, it’s important to express empathy, as it attempts to bridge the divide between the two of you.

Empathy also forces you to practice compassion and become a more compassionate person overall. Compassion allows you to connect with another person and try to see things from their perspective. It gives an insight into their behaviour of how and why they may react or act in the way that they do.

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We often find ourselves in a situation of potential conflict with a loved one but when that happens, stop and ask yourself why they may be acting the way they are.

Controlling Your Reaction Is Key

It’s often said that you can’t control a situation, only the way you react to it, and this is also true for how you approach the people in your life. We are all sensitive, connected beings and how we think and act can have a much bigger influence on others than we might imagine.

Our reactions can trigger thoughts and behaviours in others, both in a negative and a positive way. For example, if your reaction to someone ignoring you is that of anger without understanding why they may have ignored you, that would immediately cause a negative reaction in the other person. In other words, negativity breeds negativity, especially when the reasons of the situations aren’t entirely clear. When coming from a place of calm and giving the other person the benefit of the doubt, you are much more likely to get a calm or positive reaction instead.

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Consider Different Mindsets And Perspectives

Humans are naturally quite selfish due to the fact that we often believe how we think, our perspectives, and our opinions are correct, while others are wrong. We rarely consider that each and every person is never having the same experience or thought patterns due to life experiences and limited beliefs. We like to think the people closest to us in life think in a similar way, which may be true, however this is almost never the case, even with couples who have been together for forty or fifty years.

Be mindful of the fact that how you see a problem, situation, or the way someone is reacting to something, isn’t necessarily how the other person is viewing it. By taking another person’s point of view, we broaden our own and this helps us to understand our actions and consequences as well as others’ better, which leads to less assumptions and again, more compassion.

Conclusion

At the end of the day, it’s all about being self-aware and adopting a non-judgemental attitude towards your loved one. We can never be expected to fully understand the minds of even those closest to us but the dynamics in a relationship can be harmonious for all involved when we all learn how to look within ourselves to be less selfish and more understanding.

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Embracing these situations and accepting loved ones for who they are and how they think as being different from our own, creates a space of empathy, true love, and genuine respect for each other.

Featured photo credit: freestocks.org via pexels.com

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Jenny Marchal

A passionate writer who loves sharing about positive psychology.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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