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If You Want To Be Successful In Life, You Shouldn’t Say These 7 Phrases Easily

If You Want To Be Successful In Life, You Shouldn’t Say These 7 Phrases Easily

Success isn’t only important in your career, it’s important in all aspects of your life, such as your relationships, happiness, and experiences. Achieving success in these areas greatly depends on what you say on a daily basis.

Take two individuals who haven’t made it in life. Person A chooses to use optimistic words, along the lines of “Yes! I can do this!” or “Pain is temporary, pride is forever!” Meanwhile, person B chooses to use pessimistic words, along the lines of “Will this work out for me?” or “No, this is impossible.”

Who do you think will have a higher chance to succeed in life?

Put yourself on the road to success today by simply changing your daily thoughts and speech. You can do this by avoiding these 7 phrases and by starting to say the things that successful people say.

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1. “That’s Not Fair”

Let’s be real, not everything in life is fair. Humans hardly ever think of a win-win situation from the get-go. Instead, they’ll first think, “what’s in it for me?”

By simply understanding this, you’ll learn how to accept injustice as part of your life. Instead of saying that life is not fair, try asking yourself how you can make the situation better.

2. “It’s Not Possible”

When successful people run up against an apparent brick wall, they don’t see it as an impossibility, they see it as a challenge waiting to be overcome. Instead of succumbing to the idea that it’s impossible, successful people ask themselves “how do I solve this?”

3. “I Could Have Done It Better”

Instead of constantly whining about things that could have been done better, successful people move on fast from failures. However, they remember the improvements that they had hoped to make and seek to apply them in the future.

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Tell yourself that you’ll do your best next time instead of wallowing in past failures. Then move on with a clearer mind.

4. “That’s Not Part Of My Job”

This is a big no-no for successful people. Successful people understand that success should be shared among all who contribute and that no one should ever suppress someone else from attaining success.

Teamwork is essential for successful people, so instead of saying that something is not part of your job, ask yourself how you can best contribute to your team.

5. “I Don’t Know” 

By saying “I don’t know,” you’ve given up the opportunity to learn. Successful people will rarely just say “I don’t know” because they realize that once they do, they’ve succumbed to the habits of a lazy mind.

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You can observe this in the award-winning movie, Pursuit of Happyness, starring Will Smith. His character was engaged in an interview and said a very memorable sentence befitting a successful person. The line was:

I’m the type of person that if you ask me a question and I don’t know the answer, I’m gonna tell you that I don’t know. But I bet you what, I know how to find the answer and I will find the answer.

6. “I Have No Choice” 

By telling yourself that you do not have a choice, you’re surrendering to the fact that the situation is bigger than you are. By saying that you do not have a choice, you are referring to yourself as that weak victim of circumstances who doesn’t care enough to take over the situation.

Successful people look at all the possible choices, and they take advantage of them. Start telling yourself today that you always have a choice.

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7. “He/She Is So Stupid” 

Successful people do not pass judgment about people, because doing so reflects on their own character and risks ruining their own career. If an issue has to be raised about someone, it should be done in a tactful way instead of by name-calling.

You should know that to be successful, you need to change your thinking from negative to positive.

Featured photo credit: Business Meeting via pixabay.com

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Last Updated on January 6, 2019

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

No one wants to suffer. As a general rule, people like to avoid hurt and pain as much as possible. As a species, humans want a painless existence so much that scientists make a living trying to create it.

People can now choose “pain-free” labor for babies, and remedies to cure back pain, headaches, body-pains and even mental pains are a dime a dozen. Beyond medicine, we also work hard to experience little pain even when it comes to loss; often times we believe a breakup won’t hurt as much if we are the ones to call it off.

But would a world without pain truly be painless? It’s unlikely. In fact, it would probably be painful exactly for that reason.

If people never experienced hurt, they wouldn’t know what it was. On the surface level, that seems like a blessing, but think for a moment: if we didn’t know pain, how would we know peace? If you don’t know you’ve hurt or been hurt, how would you know that you need to heal? Imagine someone only knowing they have an incurable cancer at the final stage because no obvious symptoms have appeared at early stages.

Without the feeling of pain, people won’t be aware of dangerous situations—what should or shouldn’t do for survival.

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Pain Is Our Guardian

Pain serves to protect human beings from harmful actions. It’s the same reason parents teach babies that fire equals hot, and that hot equals hurt. Should the baby still place its hand in a fire or on a stove, the intense pain remains so memorable, that the child is certain never to repeat that action.

In the same way, pain within human bodies can serve as a warning that something is not right. Because you know what it is to feel “well,” you know what it is to feel poorly.[1]

Along with serving as a teacher of what not to do, pain also teaches you what you are made of in terms of what you can handle as an individual.

While the cliche, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a tired term, it’s used excessively for a reason: it’s true. Pain helps you learn to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties and sadnesses— to develop the grit it takes to push past hardships and carry on.

Whether it’s a shattering pain, like the loss of a loved one or a debilitating accident, pain affects everyone differently. But it still affects everyone. Take a breakup as an example, anyone who has experienced it knows it can hurt to the point of feeling physical. Especially the first breakup. At a young age, it feels like the loss of the only love you’ll ever know. As you grow and learn, you realize you’re more resilient with every ended relationship.

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No Pain, No Happiness

You only know happiness when you have known pain. While the idea of constant happiness sounds nice, there is little chance it would be. Without the comparison to happiness, there’s no reason to be grateful for it. That is to say, without ever knowing sadness or pain, you would have no reason to be grateful for happiness.

In reality, there is always something missing, or something unpleasant, but it is only through those realizations that you know to be grateful when you feel you have it all. Read more about why happiness and pain have to exist together: Chasing Happiness Won’t Make You Happy

In a somewhat counter-intuitive finding, researchers found one of the things that brings about the most happiness is challenge. When people are tested, they experience a greater sense of accomplishment and happiness when they are successful. It is largely for this reason that low-income individuals can often feel happier than those who have a sense of wealth.[2]

This is a great thing to remember the next time you feel you would be happier if you just had a little more cash.

Avoiding Pain Leads to More Suffering

Pain is inevitable, embrace it positively. Anyone who strives to have a painless life is striving for perfectionism; and perfectionism guarantees sadness because nothing will ever be perfect.

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This isn’t a bleak outlook, but rather a truthful one. The messy moments in life tend to create the best memories and gratitude. Pain often serves as a reminder of lessons learned, much like physical scars on the body.

Pain will always be painful, but it’s the hurt feelings that help wiser decisions be made.

Allow Room for the Inevitable

Learning how to tolerate pain, especially the emotional kind, is a valuable lesson.

Accepting and feeling pain makes you human. There is no weakness in that. Weakness only comes when you try to blame your own pain on someone else, expecting the blame to alleviate your hurting. There’s a saying,

“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.”

Think back to the last time you were really angry with someone. Maybe you were hurt because you got laid off from a job. You felt angry and that anger caused so much pain that you could feel it in a physical way. Being angry and blaming your ex boss for that pain didn’t affect him or her in any way; you’re the only one who lost sleep over it.

The healthier thing to do in a situation like that is acknowledge your pain and the anger along with it. Accept it and explore it in an introspective way. How can you learn and grow? What is at the root of that pain? Are you truly hurting and angry about being laid off, or is the pain more a correlation to you feeling like you failed?

While uncomfortable, exploring your pain is a way to raise your self-awareness. By understanding more about yourself, you know how to deal with similar situations in the future. You can never expect to be numb to difficult situations, but you will learn to better prepare financially for the loss of a job and be grateful for an income since you now know nothing is promised (no matter how much you work or how deserving you may feel).

Pain Hurts, but Numbness Would Be Worse

Pain does not feel good, but the bad feeling of it will help you learn and grow. It makes the sweet moments in life even sweeter and the gratitude more sincere.

To have a happier and more successful life, you don’t learn from success or accomplishment, but through pain and failures. For it is in those moments that you learn how to do better in the future or at least cope a little more easily.

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You are the strong person you are today because of the hardships this life has presented to you. While you may have felt out of control when those hard times came, the one thing you will always have control over is how you choose to react to things. The next time you hurt or you’re angry or sad, acknowledge it and allow yourself to ruminate in it. Then take a deep breath and start learning from that pain. You’ve got this!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]University of Calgary: Why is Pain Important?
[2]Greater Good Magazine: The Importance of Pain

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