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If You Long To Become A Better You, You Should Realize These Brutal Truths First

If You Long To Become A Better You, You Should Realize These Brutal Truths First

Of course most of you are headed toward improving yourselves. But what most people don’t realize is how unrealistic goals we tend to set. Moreover, the key word here is the goal – you tend to set your mind only on the final outcome. But the journey is what matters the most. What you learn and what you go through are what make you a better person.

For instance, after graduating from college you solemnly make a vow that in five years’ time, you’ll be the embodiment of success – working at your dream job. Then that doesn’t happen. You despair, and you perceive yourself as a failure. This is not a reason to give up – you just need to look deep down and realize it’s not all about reaching one goal, it’s about trying to be the best version of yourself. And working at a job you may not have wanted in the first place can teach you so many valuable things you will need later.

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Stop Trying to be Somebody Else 

The common mistake you can make is to look up to somebody in the way you want to be like them. Having a role model is not about trying to live their lives – it’s about motivating you and showing you that your dreams can come true. Every one of you is unique in a beautiful way, so you shouldn’t long to live somebody else’s life.

Do What Makes You Happy

What you should do in every situation is to give your best. Even if you fail, that’s not a failure, it just means that path wasn’t right for you, and you should embark in a different direction. You can rest assured you did your best, and it simply didn’t work out. That means it’s time to move on. Sometimes your family and people who are close to you expect you to live up to their standards of success. You try so hard to please them, and when you fail, you feel like you’ve let them down.

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But it’s actually you who was let down. You should find what makes you happy, and follow that path slowly and patiently, while trying to learn something new about yourself every day. Then you can use what you’ve learned to be a better person. Taking the path of self-improvement is full of trial and error, you just need to keep in mind these are all the lessons you need to learn to become the best version of yourself.

Appreciate the Journey

Learning about who you truly are and fully realizing your potentials doesn’t happen overnight. It’s crucial to accept that fact if you really want to make progress and reach success. It is important to cherish the journey since that’s what truly matters – that’s what will make you a better person. When looking upon successful people it might look like they achieved their goals in a heartbeat, but they had their share of difficulties they had to go through to become who they are today. It’s important to realize that not all of life’s secrets will be revealed to you instantly.

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Trust the Process

There are no shortcuts to becoming a better person, we learn important things bit by bit. Valuable lessons come to you exactly when you need them, not just when you want them. You need to trust the process and whatever you do, do it with passion, and success will come. It is important to keep trying, and to be aware that it’s always better to try and fail than to do nothing. If you don’t go out there, take a risk and try something new, you will never grow and learn.

As Thomas Edison said “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Becoming the best version of yourself is not easy, but you really have to put yourself out there and try, and try, and try again. There will be many things you won’t be able to influence or change, but what you can change is how you react in unpredictable and difficult situations.

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Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

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Last Updated on May 7, 2019

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

How to Detect a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing

Work in any competitive field long enough, and you’re bound to run into a wolf in sheep’s clothing. It’s a powerful image. A shepherd watches over his flock to protect them from harm. He’d chase away any predator that tried to make its way into the flock. A clever wolf wearing the skin of a sheep as a disguise can sneak by the vigilant shepherd and get into the herd undetected.

The story isn’t just a colorful description–it’s a warning to all of us to beware the wolf in sheep’s clothing. They may seem innocent, but they have ulterior motives. They’ll use different tactics to camouflage their intentions.

The person who is kind to you, but undercuts you when you aren’t around is a wolf in disguise. A wolf in sheep’s clothing might pick your brain for ideas and then pass them off as their own to get a promotion. They’re always looking out for themselves at the expense of everyone around them.

Wearing a Disguise Has Its Advantages

People don’t go out of their way to manipulate others unless they’re getting something out of it. Hiding their intentions gives wolves the chance to manipulate other people to advance their own agenda. They know that what they’re trying to do wouldn’t be popular, or it might cause struggle if they presented themselves honestly.

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    They’ll be able to do what they want with less interference if they put on an act. By the time people figure out their true motives, the wolf has what it wants.

    Signs That Someone Is a Wolf in Disguise

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        1. They live to take power instead of empowering others. A wolf uses people as stepping stones to get the things that they want. They don’t care what happens to anyone else.[1] A wolf at work might make you look bad during a presentation to make themselves look amazing in front of the boss.
        2. Wolves seem sweet on the outside, but they’ll show you their teeth. If wolves revealed their true identity, people wouldn’t associate with them. They develop a friendly or kind persona, but they can’t keep up the act 24/7. Eventually, they’ll reveal their aggressive tendencies. A wealthy person who likes to break the law may make sizable charitable donations to convince people that they are kind and thoughtful. These donations largely keep them out of trouble, but if someone calls them out, they destroy that person’s reputation to stifle the criticism.
        3. They manipulate through emotions to get what they want. Wolves know that they can get ahead by appealing to your emotions. They find out what you want and need, and they give you just enough to keep you quiet and compliant. Imagine that your boss is a wolf in sheep’s clothing, and you want to ask for a vacation. She might try to play on your guilt and feelings of insecurity to get you to skip vacation or take fewer days off.
        4. A wolf will charm you first. Wolves are experts at manipulating the people around them. They appear interested in whatever you’re doing, and you’ll get the impression that they care. After they get you where they want you, they do just enough to keep you on the hook. This is the coworker who may start out being your friend, but they end up dumping responsibility onto you. When they see that you are growing frustrated, they’ll surprise you with something to charm you some more. Then, they’ll continue to do whatever they want.
        5. Their stories are full of holes.  Calling a wolf out is the surest way to make them squirm. When this person tries to come up with a story, it won’t make much sense because they are improvising.[2] The classic example of this is the significant other that you suspect has cheated on you. When you ask them why they came home so late, they’ll either become upset with you, or they’ll make up a weak explanation.

        How to Spot a Wolf

          Know What’s Real So You Can Spot the Phony

          Do some homework so that you have as much of the story as possible before you work with them. Research how they respond in certain situations, or give them hypothetical problems to see how they respond.

          A job applicant might tell you that she’s always positive and thinks of herself as a team-player. That’s what every employer wants to hear. During the interview you ask applicants to work in groups to solve a problem to see how they handle the situation. The applicant “positive team-player” is bossy and negative. You’ve spotted the wolf.

          A wolf will tell you something that ultimately benefits them. Gather evidence that proves or disproves their position, and see what happens. Chances are, when you choose the side that supports their agenda, they’ll act like your best friend. If you disagree, they’ll become aggressive.

          Spotting a potential wolf–especially if you are one of the sheep–can present you with some challenges. If your gut tells you that a wolf is lurking among all the other sheep, pay attention, and make sure you take the next step.

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          Ask Questions, the More the Better

          There’s nothing wrong with asking questions to uncover the truth. The safety of everyone in your group is at risk. Since wolves often make up stories, you may be able to call them out when their tales lack details.

          When they state an opinion, ask “Why do you think that?” or “How do you know it’s like that?” They’ll have trouble coming up with enough information to pull off the lie.

          Since wolves are always pretending to be something they aren’t, they don’t usually have a clearly thought-out reason for what they say. In a debate, they won’t understand the root of an issue.

          They may also tell you what they think you want to hear, but when pressed for more information, they won’t have anything to add. Their knowledge is superficial. No matter how much you try to encourage discussion, they will not be able to carry on a conversation about the subject.

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          Wolves Are Everywhere

          As much as we want to believe that everyone has the best intentions, it isn’t always the case. Some people only do things to benefit themselves, and they don’t care who they hurt in the process.

          Wolves in sheep’s clothing can be found in almost every setting. You can’t get rid of them, but if you can spot them, you can avoid falling into their traps.

          Reference

          [1] Association of Biblical Counselors: Three Ways to Spot a Wolf in Sheep’s Clothing
          [2] Power of Positivity: Beware of a wolf in sheep’s clothing

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