Advertising
Advertising

If You Long To Become A Better You, You Should Realize These Brutal Truths First

If You Long To Become A Better You, You Should Realize These Brutal Truths First

Of course most of you are headed toward improving yourselves. But what most people don’t realize is how unrealistic goals we tend to set. Moreover, the key word here is the goal – you tend to set your mind only on the final outcome. But the journey is what matters the most. What you learn and what you go through are what make you a better person.

For instance, after graduating from college you solemnly make a vow that in five years’ time, you’ll be the embodiment of success – working at your dream job. Then that doesn’t happen. You despair, and you perceive yourself as a failure. This is not a reason to give up – you just need to look deep down and realize it’s not all about reaching one goal, it’s about trying to be the best version of yourself. And working at a job you may not have wanted in the first place can teach you so many valuable things you will need later.

Advertising

Stop Trying to be Somebody Else 

The common mistake you can make is to look up to somebody in the way you want to be like them. Having a role model is not about trying to live their lives – it’s about motivating you and showing you that your dreams can come true. Every one of you is unique in a beautiful way, so you shouldn’t long to live somebody else’s life.

Do What Makes You Happy

What you should do in every situation is to give your best. Even if you fail, that’s not a failure, it just means that path wasn’t right for you, and you should embark in a different direction. You can rest assured you did your best, and it simply didn’t work out. That means it’s time to move on. Sometimes your family and people who are close to you expect you to live up to their standards of success. You try so hard to please them, and when you fail, you feel like you’ve let them down.

Advertising

But it’s actually you who was let down. You should find what makes you happy, and follow that path slowly and patiently, while trying to learn something new about yourself every day. Then you can use what you’ve learned to be a better person. Taking the path of self-improvement is full of trial and error, you just need to keep in mind these are all the lessons you need to learn to become the best version of yourself.

Appreciate the Journey

Learning about who you truly are and fully realizing your potentials doesn’t happen overnight. It’s crucial to accept that fact if you really want to make progress and reach success. It is important to cherish the journey since that’s what truly matters – that’s what will make you a better person. When looking upon successful people it might look like they achieved their goals in a heartbeat, but they had their share of difficulties they had to go through to become who they are today. It’s important to realize that not all of life’s secrets will be revealed to you instantly.

Advertising

Trust the Process

There are no shortcuts to becoming a better person, we learn important things bit by bit. Valuable lessons come to you exactly when you need them, not just when you want them. You need to trust the process and whatever you do, do it with passion, and success will come. It is important to keep trying, and to be aware that it’s always better to try and fail than to do nothing. If you don’t go out there, take a risk and try something new, you will never grow and learn.

As Thomas Edison said “I have not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.” Becoming the best version of yourself is not easy, but you really have to put yourself out there and try, and try, and try again. There will be many things you won’t be able to influence or change, but what you can change is how you react in unpredictable and difficult situations.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

More by this author

Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

Who Says All Introverts Hate Socializing? Here’s The Truth About Introvert And Extrovert Every Time You Drink A Beer, Remember To Drink The Same Amount Of Water You’re Exceptionally Creative If You See The Correct Image (Only 1/100 People Can Do This!) If You Have These 6 Struggles, You’re Highly Intelligent Who Can Resist Avocado! It Is One of the Most Nutrient Fruit In The World!

Trending in Psychology

1 Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering 2 How to Do Meditation at Home to Calm Your Anxious Mind 3 How to Handle Rejection and Overcome the Fear of Being Rejected 4 8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies 5 20 Things Only Parents Of Children With Dyslexia Would Understand

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on January 6, 2019

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

No one wants to suffer. As a general rule, people like to avoid hurt and pain as much as possible. As a species, humans want a painless existence so much that scientists make a living trying to create it.

People can now choose “pain-free” labor for babies, and remedies to cure back pain, headaches, body-pains and even mental pains are a dime a dozen. Beyond medicine, we also work hard to experience little pain even when it comes to loss; often times we believe a breakup won’t hurt as much if we are the ones to call it off.

But would a world without pain truly be painless? It’s unlikely. In fact, it would probably be painful exactly for that reason.

If people never experienced hurt, they wouldn’t know what it was. On the surface level, that seems like a blessing, but think for a moment: if we didn’t know pain, how would we know peace? If you don’t know you’ve hurt or been hurt, how would you know that you need to heal? Imagine someone only knowing they have an incurable cancer at the final stage because no obvious symptoms have appeared at early stages.

Without the feeling of pain, people won’t be aware of dangerous situations—what should or shouldn’t do for survival.

Advertising

Pain Is Our Guardian

Pain serves to protect human beings from harmful actions. It’s the same reason parents teach babies that fire equals hot, and that hot equals hurt. Should the baby still place its hand in a fire or on a stove, the intense pain remains so memorable, that the child is certain never to repeat that action.

In the same way, pain within human bodies can serve as a warning that something is not right. Because you know what it is to feel “well,” you know what it is to feel poorly.[1]

Along with serving as a teacher of what not to do, pain also teaches you what you are made of in terms of what you can handle as an individual.

While the cliche, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a tired term, it’s used excessively for a reason: it’s true. Pain helps you learn to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties and sadnesses— to develop the grit it takes to push past hardships and carry on.

Whether it’s a shattering pain, like the loss of a loved one or a debilitating accident, pain affects everyone differently. But it still affects everyone. Take a breakup as an example, anyone who has experienced it knows it can hurt to the point of feeling physical. Especially the first breakup. At a young age, it feels like the loss of the only love you’ll ever know. As you grow and learn, you realize you’re more resilient with every ended relationship.

Advertising

No Pain, No Happiness

You only know happiness when you have known pain. While the idea of constant happiness sounds nice, there is little chance it would be. Without the comparison to happiness, there’s no reason to be grateful for it. That is to say, without ever knowing sadness or pain, you would have no reason to be grateful for happiness.

In reality, there is always something missing, or something unpleasant, but it is only through those realizations that you know to be grateful when you feel you have it all. Read more about why happiness and pain have to exist together: Chasing Happiness Won’t Make You Happy

In a somewhat counter-intuitive finding, researchers found one of the things that brings about the most happiness is challenge. When people are tested, they experience a greater sense of accomplishment and happiness when they are successful. It is largely for this reason that low-income individuals can often feel happier than those who have a sense of wealth.[2]

This is a great thing to remember the next time you feel you would be happier if you just had a little more cash.

Avoiding Pain Leads to More Suffering

Pain is inevitable, embrace it positively. Anyone who strives to have a painless life is striving for perfectionism; and perfectionism guarantees sadness because nothing will ever be perfect.

Advertising

This isn’t a bleak outlook, but rather a truthful one. The messy moments in life tend to create the best memories and gratitude. Pain often serves as a reminder of lessons learned, much like physical scars on the body.

Pain will always be painful, but it’s the hurt feelings that help wiser decisions be made.

Allow Room for the Inevitable

Learning how to tolerate pain, especially the emotional kind, is a valuable lesson.

Accepting and feeling pain makes you human. There is no weakness in that. Weakness only comes when you try to blame your own pain on someone else, expecting the blame to alleviate your hurting. There’s a saying,

“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.”

Think back to the last time you were really angry with someone. Maybe you were hurt because you got laid off from a job. You felt angry and that anger caused so much pain that you could feel it in a physical way. Being angry and blaming your ex boss for that pain didn’t affect him or her in any way; you’re the only one who lost sleep over it.

The healthier thing to do in a situation like that is acknowledge your pain and the anger along with it. Accept it and explore it in an introspective way. How can you learn and grow? What is at the root of that pain? Are you truly hurting and angry about being laid off, or is the pain more a correlation to you feeling like you failed?

While uncomfortable, exploring your pain is a way to raise your self-awareness. By understanding more about yourself, you know how to deal with similar situations in the future. You can never expect to be numb to difficult situations, but you will learn to better prepare financially for the loss of a job and be grateful for an income since you now know nothing is promised (no matter how much you work or how deserving you may feel).

Pain Hurts, but Numbness Would Be Worse

Pain does not feel good, but the bad feeling of it will help you learn and grow. It makes the sweet moments in life even sweeter and the gratitude more sincere.

To have a happier and more successful life, you don’t learn from success or accomplishment, but through pain and failures. For it is in those moments that you learn how to do better in the future or at least cope a little more easily.

Advertising

You are the strong person you are today because of the hardships this life has presented to you. While you may have felt out of control when those hard times came, the one thing you will always have control over is how you choose to react to things. The next time you hurt or you’re angry or sad, acknowledge it and allow yourself to ruminate in it. Then take a deep breath and start learning from that pain. You’ve got this!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]University of Calgary: Why is Pain Important?
[2]Greater Good Magazine: The Importance of Pain

Read Next