Advertising
Advertising

Be Careful What You Wish For

Be Careful What You Wish For

What you think, you become. Your thoughts create your reality. What you believe, you will achieve. We have all heard of these famous quotes at some point in our lives, and some of us may be aware of the “Law of Attraction.”

I for one am a firm believer. Even though we may be aware of these ideas, life can get tough and things can happen outside of our control. It can be hard to always stay positive, especially during the rough times.

Not long ago, something happened to me that was actually a blessing in disguise. It was the universe giving me a slap in the face, telling me to snap out of it and get my life together. As small as it may seem to some, this experience was actually quite significant to me, and I wanted to share the story.

Advertising

Manifestation

It was 7 am, and I was walking back to my apartment after an intense gym session. I felt great after my workout, but I was dreading having to go to work. I really didn’t want to go. There were so many other things I would rather be doing. As I was walking, I started thinking up excuses for why I didn’t have to go. “Maybe I could call in sick? No, that’s going to be so obvious, seeing as we just had a break from work and the weekend has just ended. What else can I say?”

As I was pondering and contemplating what I could tell my boss, a thought came into my head. “What if I said my bank cards got compromised, and that now I have no way to get to work because I don’t have access to money?” I thought about it for a while, and then I started imagining all of the things I would be able to get done if I didn’t have to go to work. I imagined taking my time to shower, have breakfast and get ready, instead of rushing every morning after the gym to be on time as I usually do. I started visualizing how good it would feel to be able to do things at my own pace.

Then I started writing a checklist of all of the things I could accomplish in my day. “I could get the next couple of modules done with my online course. I could start developing my landing pages and click funnels for my online business. I could also work on my social media pages and my blog page.” The things I could accomplish in those 8 hours!

Advertising

After a bit of daydreaming, I decided I just couldn’t call my boss and lie to him, so I started getting ready for work and went on with my day. I was doing my usual routine, eating breakfast while I checked my emails and notifications. I then saw an email from PayPal stating that a transaction had been approved. I looked back at the email and immediately knew that I had not made any recent purchases for that amount and then proceeded to the “dispute this payment” button.

Our Thoughts Become Our Reality

I won’t get into the finer details of this dilemma, but long story short, my accounts were actually compromised and I had to cancel all of my cards. I then had to let my boss know that I couldn’t come to work because I was dealing with my accounts being hacked. I spent all morning on the phone dealing with the changes of passwords, automatic payments that were due that week, and just the headache of making sure all loose ends were tied up.

It wasn’t until I could finally breathe and process what had just happened that I realised that I had manifested this. I thought this up, and the universe conspired to make it happen. I know this because the universe has also helped me in so many ways in the past by conspiring to make great things happen to me. My thoughts literally brought this to life.

Advertising

I thought of what I wanted and I actually envisioned myself achieving what I wanted and how I would feel. “Ask and you shall receive.” In all fairness, I did get all of the things I had planned done and it did turn out to be quite a productive day. In a roundabout way, I really did get what I wanted and I didn’t have to lie because it was actually the truth!

This is when I realised that I was off balance. I knew the “Law of Attraction” worked and I simply just forgot to be aware of my thoughts. Instead of dreading going to work and thinking up silly things like getting my account compromised, I realized I should be looking at things from another perspective. I should start to imagine the things I do want and only focus on that.

Be Mindful

The universe is a funny place, and our thoughts really do create our reality. So why was I thinking of the things I didn’t want and bringing things upon myself that are less than ideal? I took that minor setback as a blessing in disguise. The universe was gently reminding me that I needed to be conscious of my thoughts.

Advertising

We need to nurture our minds. They are extremely powerful. We need to feed our minds good thoughts and push away the negative feelings of doubt and insecurity. We all have them, we just need to choose whether we want to entertain them. There is a reason why so many successful people talk about the law of attraction. It’s a universal law. We create our realities, so why not make yours a great one?

When you start to think about the things in your life, take a second and evaluate whether what you are thinking is really what you want. Is this thought productive? Is it hurting anyone? Do I really want this to happen? Is this thought necessary? The universe has mysterious ways of delivering. It can be a magical place if you let it. It can also go the other way if you allow it. At the end of the day, it is really up to us. We have a choice. Be careful what you wish for.

Featured photo credit: Lupine Photography via facebook.com

More by this author

The Battle Of The Voices In My Head Be Careful What You Wish For How 24 Hours in Malaysia Changed My Life But He Says He Loves Me: How I Finally Left an Abusive Relationship 3 Simple Tips to Lose Weight and Keep It Off

Trending in 20-Something

1 One Solid Practice for Tackling Low Self-Esteem 2 If You Want To Get Help From Others Easily, Remember To Avoid This Mistake 3 7 Tools to Optimize Your Next Long-Term Traveling Experience 4 How To Go Through College And Stay Sane 5 The Battle Of The Voices In My Head

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

Advertising

It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

Advertising

2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

Advertising

And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

Advertising

Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

More About Living Your True Self

Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next