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Be Careful What You Wish For

Be Careful What You Wish For

What you think, you become. Your thoughts create your reality. What you believe, you will achieve. We have all heard of these famous quotes at some point in our lives, and some of us may be aware of the “Law of Attraction.”

I for one am a firm believer. Even though we may be aware of these ideas, life can get tough and things can happen outside of our control. It can be hard to always stay positive, especially during the rough times.

Not long ago, something happened to me that was actually a blessing in disguise. It was the universe giving me a slap in the face, telling me to snap out of it and get my life together. As small as it may seem to some, this experience was actually quite significant to me, and I wanted to share the story.

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Manifestation

It was 7 am, and I was walking back to my apartment after an intense gym session. I felt great after my workout, but I was dreading having to go to work. I really didn’t want to go. There were so many other things I would rather be doing. As I was walking, I started thinking up excuses for why I didn’t have to go. “Maybe I could call in sick? No, that’s going to be so obvious, seeing as we just had a break from work and the weekend has just ended. What else can I say?”

As I was pondering and contemplating what I could tell my boss, a thought came into my head. “What if I said my bank cards got compromised, and that now I have no way to get to work because I don’t have access to money?” I thought about it for a while, and then I started imagining all of the things I would be able to get done if I didn’t have to go to work. I imagined taking my time to shower, have breakfast and get ready, instead of rushing every morning after the gym to be on time as I usually do. I started visualizing how good it would feel to be able to do things at my own pace.

Then I started writing a checklist of all of the things I could accomplish in my day. “I could get the next couple of modules done with my online course. I could start developing my landing pages and click funnels for my online business. I could also work on my social media pages and my blog page.” The things I could accomplish in those 8 hours!

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After a bit of daydreaming, I decided I just couldn’t call my boss and lie to him, so I started getting ready for work and went on with my day. I was doing my usual routine, eating breakfast while I checked my emails and notifications. I then saw an email from PayPal stating that a transaction had been approved. I looked back at the email and immediately knew that I had not made any recent purchases for that amount and then proceeded to the “dispute this payment” button.

Our Thoughts Become Our Reality

I won’t get into the finer details of this dilemma, but long story short, my accounts were actually compromised and I had to cancel all of my cards. I then had to let my boss know that I couldn’t come to work because I was dealing with my accounts being hacked. I spent all morning on the phone dealing with the changes of passwords, automatic payments that were due that week, and just the headache of making sure all loose ends were tied up.

It wasn’t until I could finally breathe and process what had just happened that I realised that I had manifested this. I thought this up, and the universe conspired to make it happen. I know this because the universe has also helped me in so many ways in the past by conspiring to make great things happen to me. My thoughts literally brought this to life.

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I thought of what I wanted and I actually envisioned myself achieving what I wanted and how I would feel. “Ask and you shall receive.” In all fairness, I did get all of the things I had planned done and it did turn out to be quite a productive day. In a roundabout way, I really did get what I wanted and I didn’t have to lie because it was actually the truth!

This is when I realised that I was off balance. I knew the “Law of Attraction” worked and I simply just forgot to be aware of my thoughts. Instead of dreading going to work and thinking up silly things like getting my account compromised, I realized I should be looking at things from another perspective. I should start to imagine the things I do want and only focus on that.

Be Mindful

The universe is a funny place, and our thoughts really do create our reality. So why was I thinking of the things I didn’t want and bringing things upon myself that are less than ideal? I took that minor setback as a blessing in disguise. The universe was gently reminding me that I needed to be conscious of my thoughts.

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We need to nurture our minds. They are extremely powerful. We need to feed our minds good thoughts and push away the negative feelings of doubt and insecurity. We all have them, we just need to choose whether we want to entertain them. There is a reason why so many successful people talk about the law of attraction. It’s a universal law. We create our realities, so why not make yours a great one?

When you start to think about the things in your life, take a second and evaluate whether what you are thinking is really what you want. Is this thought productive? Is it hurting anyone? Do I really want this to happen? Is this thought necessary? The universe has mysterious ways of delivering. It can be a magical place if you let it. It can also go the other way if you allow it. At the end of the day, it is really up to us. We have a choice. Be careful what you wish for.

Featured photo credit: Lupine Photography via facebook.com

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Last Updated on April 19, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go or motivated. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

Reference

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