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5 Tips for Rocking Your Body Acceptance This Year

5 Tips for Rocking Your Body Acceptance This Year

2017 is here, and body acceptance has taken over in a great way! Women all over are beginning to embrace the skin they’re in, and loving themselves no matter what size or body type they have. It’s truly a beautiful thing, and the fashion industry has begun to take notice. More than ever, designers are beginning to branch out adn cater to women in extended sizes, and runways have been spiced up with even more beautiful women that represent various sizing of women worldwide. Here are a few tips on how you can continue to embrace body acceptance throughout the year.

Don’t be afraid to go bold 

In the past, we as plus sized women were expected to wear clothing that didn’t draw major attention to ourselves. I can remember reading tips that suggested plus size women should only wear dark colors, especially encouraging black because it was slimming to the eye. Those days are long gone, and it’s time you embrace all the beautiful hues your fashionable heart desires! Try that beautiful deep orange that’s perfect for Fall, or that hot pink shade you’ve had your eyes set on for this upcoming Summer. Don’t be afraid to stand out boldly, because darling….you were never meant to fit in. Try out different colors, both light and dark, until you decide which ones complement you best.

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Mix and Match

Have fun with your style. play around with the mixing and matching of different prints to remix your normal wardrobe. Take risks you may have never been comfortable taking. Give your outfits some extra sass by color blocking or mixing different textures. Lace and leather is one of my fave mix & match combinations. It’s the feminine softness paired with that tough edge that I feel reflects my personality.

Of course, not everything can be paired, but if you experiment with different combinations enough you’ll eventually find great pairings that work for you. Don’t be afraid to check out blogs and networks (like Pinterest) for styling ideas.

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Block out your critics

Although body acceptance and positivity has become more popular these days, unfortunately there will always be those that seek to make plus sized women feel insecure. Let’s face it: there will always be hurt, insecure people that will try to hurt other people with their words and behavior. Remove this negativity from your life, both on and offline.

Stop surrounding yourself with people who make you feel uncomfortable for their own amusement, and people who don’t seem to like that you love yourself just the way you are. Stop reading nasty comments aimed at those who look like you, and instead focus on those who celebrate and embrace you. You don’t have to be a finished product to love yourself just the way you are. Wear what makes you feel good, and surround yourself with people who don’t try to compromise the way you feel about yourself or your body type.

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Flaunt what you love, minimize what you don’t

 We all have days where we feel that some things are just off. You may have a day that your legs are looking great, but you feel that your cleavage isn’t sitting as nice as they normally do. You may feel that your arms are looking nice in the top you’re wearing, but you’re feeling like your waistline isn’t looking as snatched today. No one said that body acceptance means that you’ll think every little thing about yourself is perfect every moment of each day. Crappy “off” days will happen, and that’s okay.

Take time to play up the things you feel look great, emphasizing your strong points and simply minimizing the areas you may not feel so great about all the time. If you’re not feeling your legs today, throw on a cute pair of jeans with a stunning top. If you feel bloated, find a flowy dress that disguises your midsection and instead focuses on your legs and statement heels. Take time to make note of the things you love about your body, and the things you’d like to improve. You don’t have to stay home feeling unpretty or like you have nothing to wear simply because you’re having an “off ” day. Learn to shop for emphasizing pieces as well as minimizers to get you through each season.

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Wear your confidence 

A smile is your greatest accessory. It warms any color combination you could ever come up with. I love the saying, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” A lot of times it’s your confidence that brings an outfit alive, and makes you stand out. Don’t be afraid to own your style choices and carry yourself like the stylish diva you are. What better way to send a message of confidence than a warm smile as you go throughout your day?

Featured photo credit: Yahoo Images via yth.org

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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