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5 Tips for Rocking Your Body Acceptance This Year

5 Tips for Rocking Your Body Acceptance This Year

2017 is here, and body acceptance has taken over in a great way! Women all over are beginning to embrace the skin they’re in, and loving themselves no matter what size or body type they have. It’s truly a beautiful thing, and the fashion industry has begun to take notice. More than ever, designers are beginning to branch out adn cater to women in extended sizes, and runways have been spiced up with even more beautiful women that represent various sizing of women worldwide. Here are a few tips on how you can continue to embrace body acceptance throughout the year.

Don’t be afraid to go bold 

In the past, we as plus sized women were expected to wear clothing that didn’t draw major attention to ourselves. I can remember reading tips that suggested plus size women should only wear dark colors, especially encouraging black because it was slimming to the eye. Those days are long gone, and it’s time you embrace all the beautiful hues your fashionable heart desires! Try that beautiful deep orange that’s perfect for Fall, or that hot pink shade you’ve had your eyes set on for this upcoming Summer. Don’t be afraid to stand out boldly, because darling….you were never meant to fit in. Try out different colors, both light and dark, until you decide which ones complement you best.

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Mix and Match

Have fun with your style. play around with the mixing and matching of different prints to remix your normal wardrobe. Take risks you may have never been comfortable taking. Give your outfits some extra sass by color blocking or mixing different textures. Lace and leather is one of my fave mix & match combinations. It’s the feminine softness paired with that tough edge that I feel reflects my personality.

Of course, not everything can be paired, but if you experiment with different combinations enough you’ll eventually find great pairings that work for you. Don’t be afraid to check out blogs and networks (like Pinterest) for styling ideas.

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Block out your critics

Although body acceptance and positivity has become more popular these days, unfortunately there will always be those that seek to make plus sized women feel insecure. Let’s face it: there will always be hurt, insecure people that will try to hurt other people with their words and behavior. Remove this negativity from your life, both on and offline.

Stop surrounding yourself with people who make you feel uncomfortable for their own amusement, and people who don’t seem to like that you love yourself just the way you are. Stop reading nasty comments aimed at those who look like you, and instead focus on those who celebrate and embrace you. You don’t have to be a finished product to love yourself just the way you are. Wear what makes you feel good, and surround yourself with people who don’t try to compromise the way you feel about yourself or your body type.

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Flaunt what you love, minimize what you don’t

 We all have days where we feel that some things are just off. You may have a day that your legs are looking great, but you feel that your cleavage isn’t sitting as nice as they normally do. You may feel that your arms are looking nice in the top you’re wearing, but you’re feeling like your waistline isn’t looking as snatched today. No one said that body acceptance means that you’ll think every little thing about yourself is perfect every moment of each day. Crappy “off” days will happen, and that’s okay.

Take time to play up the things you feel look great, emphasizing your strong points and simply minimizing the areas you may not feel so great about all the time. If you’re not feeling your legs today, throw on a cute pair of jeans with a stunning top. If you feel bloated, find a flowy dress that disguises your midsection and instead focuses on your legs and statement heels. Take time to make note of the things you love about your body, and the things you’d like to improve. You don’t have to stay home feeling unpretty or like you have nothing to wear simply because you’re having an “off ” day. Learn to shop for emphasizing pieces as well as minimizers to get you through each season.

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Wear your confidence 

A smile is your greatest accessory. It warms any color combination you could ever come up with. I love the saying, “You’re never fully dressed without a smile.” A lot of times it’s your confidence that brings an outfit alive, and makes you stand out. Don’t be afraid to own your style choices and carry yourself like the stylish diva you are. What better way to send a message of confidence than a warm smile as you go throughout your day?

Featured photo credit: Yahoo Images via yth.org

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Last Updated on December 17, 2018

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Why You Think You’re Not Good Enough and How To Believe in Yourself

Have you ever wanted to say something at work, but a little voice of doubt crept in and said, “what if you are wrong”?

Maybe you wanted to apply for that promotion or ask that special someone on a date, but something kept you from taking action. When you think you’re not good enough, you tend to fear the outcome and lack faith in your abilities. That is why it is vital you discover how to believe in yourself so you can accomplish your goals and create your dream life.

Whatever your situation, the fears and self-doubt your false beliefs create will always stop you in your tracks. Identifying the beliefs that cause you to sabotage your life is the first step to removing them.

Self-doubt causes inaction, and inaction leads to regret. When you are not following your passion and living your dream life, you are left with a lot of questions:

  • What if I took a chance on myself?
  • Could I have had a better life if I took more risks?
  • Am I be satisfied with the legacy I am leaving behind?
  • What could I have accomplished if I did not settle for less?

So why would you think you’re not good enough?

1. Parenting

The perception you have of yourself is based on your past experiences. There are studies that show children mimic everything from their parents ability to regulate emotions, to their parents belief about money.[1]

I have had clients who did not believe they were good enough because they did not receive any positive reinforcement as a child. When they were young, their parents were extremely overprotective.

Think of your childhood challenges like dragons you had to slay. Each obstacle you overcame was another dragon you successfully removed from your life. As you slay more dragons, your self-esteem and confidence increase. When someone has overprotective parents, their parents end up slaying the dragons.

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As a result, the child builds more confidence in their parent’s abilities, while still doubting their own.

If you are never encouraged to slay your own dragons, you start to doubt whether you can. It is only natural for a child to conclude their parents are always helping them because they think they need it. This child ages into an adult who still believes they are not good enough. They seek the help and confirmation of others, and they rarely stand-up to opposition.

Solution: Slay Your Dragons!

If you want to believe in yourself, you are going to have to take steps to rebuild your trust in yourself. Start by keeping your word to others and arriving on-time. By showing yourself that others can (and do) trust you, you are going to feel more comfortable trusting yourself.

As you move onto larger and more challenging tasks, you have built a foundation of trust in your ability to keep your word. Next, you are going to want to reclaim your sword from others. At first, you may want to confide in whoever it is currently slaying your dragons.

Understand if it is your parent or someone who loves you, they want the best for you and mean well. You are simply going to tell them that you want to do the work, and will ask them for their thoughts in the planning phase. Feel free to check in with them and give them updates on your progress, while making sure they understand you are wanting to do the work yourself.

Then when the task is completed, let them know so you can celebrate together. Now that you have slayed your own dragon, you can start to reclaim your confidence. By you utilizing them as your guide, you get the added bonus of someone you respect and admire, telling you how amazing you are.

Think of it like a symbolic passing of the torch. Now, you are both dragon slayers. Which means all the positive attributes you attributed to them slaying your dragons, now belong to you.

2. Over-Exaggerating and Oversimplifying

Your past experiences may involve you or someone close to you failing. When you experience failure, you can lose your desire to continue. This has less to do with whether you are brave or scared, and more to do with the fact that your mind does not like failure.

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No one enjoys participating in events in which they under-perform. Outside of the usual reasons of embarrassment, feelings of inadequacy, and fear of failure – it is simply not fun.

Who wants to play baseball if they strikeout every time it is their turn? Would you enjoy singing in front of an audience if you were booed off the stage every time you performed? I could go on, but I think you get the point.

The thing about those two examples is no one really strikes out “every” at-bat. It is also unlikely someone could be booed off the stage “every time” they performed in-front of an audience.

What ends up happening is you oversimplify and exaggerate your past experiences and then your mind believes you. If you believe you are not good enough to ask someone on a date because they “always” tell you no, then do not be surprised you never muster the courage to do so.

If you want to overcome these feelings of inadequacy, start by changing your beliefs. This exercise does not need to be complicated. If you believe you strikeout every time it is your turn, I want to you to go to a batting cage and keep swinging until you hit the baseball.

When you experience success, I want you to take a mental note, write it down, or have someone video it. This is your proof that you do not always strike out. Then, whenever your belief that you are not good enough resurfaces, you are going to replay that video.

Regardless of the situation, you can find a successful experience that you are overlooking.

Solution: Read About the Failures of Others

It sounds a little crazy, I know, but reading about the failures of other successful people will improve your confidence. In a study conducted by Columbia University, they found that teaching students about the failures of great scientists encouraged them to do better.[2]

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When you are battling fear and self-doubt, you tend to over-exaggerate the abilities of others and diminish your own by comparison. You start to believe the successful are successful because they are courageous risk-takers, who do not take no for an answer. You tell yourself, they are meant to succeed, while you on the other hand are not.

When you are able to relate to the successful, you start to realize they have the same struggles and challenges you do. The only difference is they kept going.

Now it is not a question of whether you can succeed, it is a question of whether you want to succeed.

3. Undervalue Yourself

What is the main difference between someone who believes they are good enough and someone who does not? The person who believes they are good enough understands they are a person of value.

What I mean by this is if you do not believe you are worth being listened to, you will not have anything to say. If you do not believe you are good enough to be respected and treated as such, you will accept and rationalize all kinds of mistreatment.

There is an old saying that we are treated as we allow ourselves to be treated. When someone has the confidence and self-esteem that commands respect, they will not accept being treated any kind of way. However, if someone does not see themselves as worthy, they will remain in toxic situations because they do not believe anything better is on the horizon.

Dr. Jennifer Crocker, who worked on a series of self-esteem studies, found in her latest research that:[3]

“College students who based their self-worth on external sources–including appearance, approval from others and even their academic performance–reported more stress, anger, academic problems, relationship conflicts, and had higher levels of drug and alcohol use and symptoms of eating disorders”

Solution: Internalize Your Self-Worth

Instead of valuing yourself based on the awards, recognition, and accolades of others, you need to search internally. By basing your perception of yourself on your core values, you can regain control over self-image.

Instead of focusing on things that are outside of control, keep your mind on what it is that makes you special. You are not defined by your job, relationships, religion, or education. Rather, you are defined by the manner in which you participate in these things. You may be a creative, hard-working, and compassionate person; and that shows up in every thing you do.

Understand that you do not need to be creative, hard-working, and compassionate all the time to consider yourself these things. You are not trying to be perfect, but you are trying to connect with your true self.

By understanding the similarities in which you tackle objectives, you will build a consistent and powerful self-worth that stands apart from external confirmation.

Final Thoughts

Do not allow your past experiences do dictate your future success. You do not want to look back on your life and have a lot of questions and regrets.

Build trust in yourself by taking action today. This will help you build the confidence you need to believe in yourself and your ability to become the champion of your life.

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Featured photo credit: Riccardo Mion via unsplash.com

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