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10 Simple Ways To Get Over Your Heartbreak

10 Simple Ways To Get Over Your Heartbreak

Life is difficult, especially in matters concerning the heart. Whether it is your prospective date not showing up or wanting to be in a long-term relationship, or a long-term relationship simply falling apart — the pain experienced in disappointing love situations is immeasurable. If you’ve ever been in love or pursued a relationship, I am sure you can relate. But then again, these heartbreaks and disappointments are unavoidable and each one of us goes through the agony of lost love. Still, though commonly felt, that feeling of your heart shattering into million pieces is unbearable during those times, so much so that you want to do anything that can ease your pain.

So, what are the hacks to ease this mental and emotional pain? Here, we provide 10 simple ways to get over your heartbreaks.

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  1. Acceptance. First and foremost, the hack you need is acceptance. You have to accept that people leave to make the place for someone else, and that some of us are just not compatible with each other, no matter how much love might be there. Acceptance is without a doubt a tough thing to do, but gradually you will find yourself accepting the fact that the person has left more and more.
  1. Cry and vent. The more you attempt to hide your feelings and bury it under the layers of work and other distractions, it is going to be even more difficult for you to get over the heartbreak. Do not pile up everything inside, instead, cry as much as you can. The memories and emotions are surely going to hurt you, but eventually you will make peace with those negative emotions and look at them positively. Venting and letting your emotions flow through you doesn’t make you weak.
  1. Cut the connection. Okay, it sounds harsh, but it is practical. Block him/her from all the social media sites and delete his/her phone number. Even if the person insists upon staying friends, don’t stay. It isn’t good for you to keep the past in your present if you are truly trying to move on. Perhaps you can consider being friends in later stages of life but, when the wounds are fresh, it is better to cut and eliminate every possible connection.
  1. Go out. Heartbreaks welcome the bizarre feeling of loneliness, making your life feel completely distasteful. To combat that, try going out. You can plan outings with your friends or watch comedy movies alone. Do whatever you like and visit the places you have always been fascinated about, but maybe held back because of the relationship you were in.
  1. Self-indulgence. There is no harm in loving yourself. Take a trip to the salon or beauty parlour. Go to a spa on the weekend and eat the five-star meals you have been craving all this time. Pamper yourself as much as you can and push yourself as much as you can to be the person you’ve always dreamed of being. If you always wanted to wear a short haircut, cut your hair. If you’ve always wanted to treat yourself, do something special for yourself.
  1. Write what you feel. Write your thoughts down and never send the letter. Likewise, write down your thoughts in a diary and allow all of your pain and agony to pour down onto the pieces of paper. This will give you a feeling that you have shared something with someone, like your own private therapy session and will therefore, give you peace. So, take the pen and fill the paper up with everything inside of you.
  1. Forgive. Just like accepting the break up, you also need to let it go. You need to forgive the person for whatever he/she has done and let it go. Forgiving the person will release you from the burden, allowing you to realize and come to terms with your inner strength. So, forgive them for their deeds and mistakes and let it go.
  1. Uplift someone’s mood instead. A tried and true formula says that when you are having a string of bad days, focus on creating good days for someone else. The grief that you are going through is understandable, but try making it a happy day for someone else if you can’t do it for yourself. Buy someone flowers or chocolate for no reason, take your family out for dinner, tell a stranger they’re beautiful – keep doing good acts that make others happy and you will see yourself eventually letting the grip fall loose on the breakup fiasco.
  2. Don’t play the breakup to makeup charade. There could be scenarios of getting back together that your ex could play on repeat for you or maybe you’ve taken them back before and still found yourself heartbroken and alone, but are considering it again anyway. Stop being a doormat and grab your self-respect as tightly as you can. Getting back together again can only chisel your heart again, so it is better you concentrate on yourself and keep the negativity at the bay. Nobody has the right to exploit you by any means.
  3. Start believing. See the breakup as a positive change in your life. Perhaps you never deserved that insensitive person and deserved someone better, which is why he/she is not in your life anymore. On the brighter side, that person left and has made a place for someone whom you sincerely deserve. So, cheers to the ending that has unintentionally led to a beautiful beginning.

Breakups are surely painful but they are not impossible to get over. Apply these heartbreak hacks to your life in case you are undergoing a breakup, or even if any of your friends are since these are surefire ways to help anyone through a breakup. As a reminder, this is a phase of your life where life actually begins so, hold your chin high and wipe those tears and prepare to embrace life and love as you begin again.

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Featured photo credit: The Two Angles via thetwoangles.com

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Bhavik Sarkhedi

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Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]

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Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.

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In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]

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Exercise

Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.

Meditation

Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.

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In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via pixabay.com

Reference

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