5 Things You Need To Know About Matchmaking

5 Things You Need To Know About Matchmaking

Matchmaking has become a career for many, and the business side of matchmaking is quite interesting; it is an established art where you set up people or friends to meet other people to create and build relationships. Matchmakers help connect people based on their interests, relationship preferences, and whether you would like a short term or a long term relationship. This can be challenging and exciting, as well as a profitable way to help others.

According to Forbes, there are more than 1,300 matchmakers in the U.S., with revenues over $230 million per year. It is a quickly emerging market, gaining high levels of interest; and, a matchmaking business can easily be run from home, or even from your office on a part-time basis.

If you want to make a career in matchmaking, or just want to know more about it, here are some tips for you.


1. Gradually build your business

You can start a matchmaking career by starting a business, or doing it on a part-time basis. However you start, it is always important to start small and gradually build your business. Make sure you learn the tricks of the trade before you begin. The best strategy is to start with friends. Help them first, and determine if you have the necessary skills. If results are successful, then gradually increase the scope of your business.

To make sure you learn the basics, you must make sure you understand how the industry works, what its ethics are, and the rules of keeping client information private. You also need to determine if there are any legal requirements that need to be fulfilled.

2. Learn to understand beauty 

The cardinal rule of matchmaking is understanding your client’s preferences. Though individual decisions and preferences differ, physical appearance does play a part in setting a match. It is always critical to discuss the aspect of beauty and how another person perceives it. A deeper understanding of what attracts your client to another person, and how each of us perceives physical attraction is key to carving out a better match.


3. Online matchmaking is a reality

Matchmaking picked up after it was popularized on the internet; over time, many matchmakers have emerged that offer such services online. Online matchmaking can be more discrete, and is always good for people who want to keep their privacy but still find people who attract them.

However, online matchmaking sites are not free. There are matchmaking sites for professionals, millionaires, etc., as they are divided into different niches and individual choices.

4. Online matchmaking courses

There are many online courses and certificates that are being offered for those looking to have a career in matchmaking. A matchmaking career is defined as helping others to find their true love without much stress, which would be reduced due to the involvement of a matchmaker. Online matchmaking institutes help people to build a freelancing or work-from-home career.


5. Don’t build unreasonable expectations

Many people who wish to utilize matchmaking services tend to build large, and sometimes unreasonable, expectations. Often, many people also forget not to build a lot of expectations on the first date. They develop a full list of their wants and expect the other person to have such qualities.

Though it is understandable to want to find someone who has such qualities, it is also important to understand that another person may not have all those qualities. It may do well to remind clients not to dismiss someone just because they don’t fit a checklist.

6. Offer some incentives

To take your business to next level and help your clients, it may be a good idea to offer some incentives. For example, you could offer them an Expedia Coupon to get discounts and deals if they want to go on a vacation together. If your clients get married, you could suggest honeymoon destinations for them, or get them great vacation rentals through Airbnb. You can also arrange other things like fast dating, taxis, hotel bookings, etc., and charge for them.


Above are some simple yet effective tips for anyone who wants to either start a matchmaking business or would simply like to know more about how matchmaking works. It can be a great part-time activity if done properly, and can also earn anyone decent income.

But, make sure you know what you are doing, and be prepared for it.

Featured photo credit: Dating Ireland via

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Adnan Manzoor

Data Analyst & Life Coach

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Last Updated on September 10, 2018

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

Overcoming The Pain Of A Breakup: 3 Suggestions Based On Science

We thought that the expression ‘broken heart’ was just a metaphor, but science is telling us that it is not: breakups and rejections do cause physical pain. When a group of psychologists asked research participants to look at images of their ex-partners who broke up with them, researchers found that the same brain areas that are activated by physical pain are also activated by looking at images of ex-partners. Looking at images of our ex is a painful experience, literally.[1].

Given that the effect of rejections and breakups is the same as the effect of physical pain, scientists have speculated on whether the practices that reduce physical pain could be used to reduce the emotional pain that follows from breakups and rejections. In a study on whether painkillers reduce the emotional pain caused by a breakup, researchers found that painkillers did help. Individuals who took painkillers were better able to deal with their breakup. Tamar Cohen wrote that “A simple dose of paracetamol could help ease the pain of a broken heart.”[2]


Just like painkillers can be used to ease the pain of a broken heart, other practices that ease physical pain can also be used to ease the pain of rejections and breakups. Three of these scientifically validated practices are presented in this article.

Looking at images of loved ones

While images of ex-partners stimulate the pain neuro-circuitry in our brain, images of loved ones activate a different circuitry. Looking at images of people who care about us increases the release of oxytocin in our body. Oxytocin, or the “cuddle hormone,” is the hormone that our body relies on to induce in us a soothing feeling of tranquility, even when we are under high stress and pain.


In fact, oxytocin was found to have a crucial role as a mother is giving birth to her baby. Despite the extreme pain that a mother has to endure during delivery, the high level of oxytocin secreted by her body transforms pain into pleasure. Mariem Melainine notes that, “Oxytocin levels are usually at their peak during delivery, which promotes a sense of euphoria in the mother and helps her develop a stronger bond with her baby.”[3]

Whenever you feel tempted to look at images of your ex-partner, log into your Facebook page and start browsing images of your loved ones. As Eva Ritvo, M.D. notes, “Facebook fools our brain into believing that loved ones surround us, which historically was essential to our survival. The human brain, because it evolved thousands of years before photography, fails on many levels to recognize the difference between pictures and people”[4]



Endorphins are neurotransmitters that reduce our perception of pain. When our body is high on endorphins, painful sensations are kept outside of conscious awareness. It was found that exercise causes endorphins to be secreted in the brain and as a result produce a feeling of power, as psychologist Alex Korb noted in his book: “Exercise causes your brain to release endorphins, neurotransmitters that act on your neurons like opiates (such as morphine or Vicodin) by sending a neural signal to reduce pain and provide anxiety relief.”[5] By inhibiting pain from being transmitted to our brain, exercise acts as a powerful antidote to the pain caused by rejections and breakups.


Jon Kabat Zinn, a doctor who pioneered the use of mindfulness meditation therapy for patients with chronic pain, has argued that it is not pain itself that is harmful to our mental health, rather, it is the way we react to pain. When we react to pain with irritation, frustration, and self-pity, more pain is generated, and we enter a never ending spiral of painful thoughts and sensations.


In order to disrupt the domino effect caused by reacting to pain with pain, Kabat Zinn and other proponents of mindfulness meditation therapy have suggested reacting to pain through nonjudgmental contemplation and acceptance. By practicing meditation on a daily basis and getting used to the habit of paying attention to the sensations generated by our body (including the painful ones and by observing these sensations nonjudgmentally and with compassion) our brain develops the habit of reacting to pain with grace and patience.

When you find yourself thinking about a recent breakup or a recent rejection, close your eyes and pay attention to the sensations produced by your body. Take deep breaths and as you are feeling the sensations produced by your body, distance yourself from them, and observe them without judgment and with compassion. If your brain starts wandering and gets distracted, gently bring back your compassionate nonjudgmental attention to your body. Try to do this exercise for one minute and gradually increase its duration.

With consistent practice, nonjudgmental acceptance will become our default reaction to breakups, rejections, and other disappointments that we experience in life. Every rejection and every breakup teaches us great lessons about relationships and about ourselves.

Featured photo credit: condesign via


[1] US National Library of Medicine: Social rejection shares somatosensory representations with physical pain
[2] Daily Mail: Nursing a broken heart? How taking a paracetamol could dull the pain of rejection
[3] Mother For Life: Oxytocin’s Role
[4] Psychology Today: Facebook and Your Brain
[5] Alex Korb: The Upward Spiral

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