Advertising
Advertising

Technology and Dating: The Broader, Faster, & Better Way to Find your Soulmate

Technology and Dating: The Broader, Faster, & Better Way to Find your Soulmate

Throughout history, every culture has seen changes in their dating (mating) rituals. From matchmaking and arranged marriages to high school dances and drunken nights in Las Vegas, technology has been found to be a catalyst in one way or another to these dating changes.

Advances in communications and transportation mean that people could interact with and travel to visit potential partners outside their neighbourhood, workplace, or circle of friends and family. Industrial advances lead to a shift away from farming to manufacturing and then to services. Mass production of print materials saw an increase in literacy and skills.

    The choices for careers, lifestyles, and residences then increased exponentially for many.[1] Even those who found themselves limited by long-standing cultural traditions could still find ways to leverage technology in their love lives.

    And now, in the 21st century, the era of smart mobile devices and broadband communication – even sometimes in the most remote of regions – technology has taken meeting, getting to know, then dating with the hopes of a long-term relationship simpler and more complex at the same time. This situation may seem like a contradiction, but it can be the beginning of something enduring and beautiful.

    Advertising

    Expanding choices

    In some cultures, it used to be (and in some cultures, it still is) that marriage had less to do with love than it did with politics and economics. Amongst royalty and the elites, marriages were arranged to jockey for power by creating alliances that one or both families could leverage. For the rest, it was a matter of finding financial stability.[2] As time progressed and technology levelled the playing field, creating a larger middle class with a greater sense of independence, this became less and less relevant.

    No longer held back by political or economic machinations, men and women found themselves looking for more personal connections with potential partners. And with this change in criteria, the idea of true love opened up to so many.

    Men and women began interacting in more and more places. Beyond local neighbourhood and community events, men and women were meeting at university, at work, in different cities. Behind all that, technology was at work, freeing up time, creating more opportunities to meet like-minded people that also sparked attraction, and then hopefully dating and becoming more.[3] Planes, trains, phones, microwaves, computers – these and so much more modern technological advances made it easier to interact with so many more people. The chances for a perfect love connection increased exponentially.

    And then there was online dating. Even before online dating, people were looking for their soulmates in all sorts of places. Classified ads, mail order brides, bars, and dance clubs – they were all platforms for meeting and making dates for ages. But with the introduction of the internet and the creation of sites like Match.com, the channels for people to find compatible mates exploded.

    With a few clicks and some simple descriptions, men and women could explore and discover potential mates near and far. And Match.com was only just the beginning. Technology developed, and other services appeared with more sophisticated algorithms that attempted to make accurate matches for a better chance at successful, lasting romantic relationships.[4]

    Advertising

    Now, instead of hoping to meet someone in a bar, at the local community barbecue, or through friends and family, there are now computer programmes that would work to find everyone who signed up their perfect partner.

    Then social media happened. Dating apps would put people in instant touch with potential dates, either for a casual meeting or for something more serious. Following interests on Facebook or Twitter would connect people with others that had a common mindset and could be developed into a storybook romance.

    Instant communications

    Telegraphs, faxes, snail mail, and even landline phone calls with no voicemail seem like they were so long ago. Today, messaging, emails, video calls, and social media posts across a myriad of service providers offer so many different channels of nearly instant communications.

    Facebook, Twitter, Skype, WhatsApp, Line, WeChat, Viber are just a few of the apps and services that, with a data plan or a WiFi connection, you can communicate with almost any one across the globe.

    This more efficient communication not only allows people to connect for romance, but it also is one of many productivity tools that are almost instantly available. So, people can also free up time by completing work projects and domestic tasks quickly, leaving more time for romance.

    Advertising

    There are pitfalls to be avoided, as with any tool, regardless if it is a hammer or a dating app.[5] Just like face-to-face communication, being too aggressive by sending too many messages or sharing too much too soon may scare off potential dates (and even friends). And being uncommunicative or reluctant to share may seem too standoffish and interest may be lost, and then connections may be lost. But as long as both parties don’t overthink or try to play hard to get too much, a romance could flourish.

    Creating strong bonds

    With all these opportunities to seek, find, and share with possible partners, the chance of a deeply meaningful romantic relationship that will last is increased. You could connect with someone online over a love of your pet beagles and then eventually discover a common interest in gardening.

    Then, after communicating virtually for a time, you finally plan to meet in person for things to hopefully move on to the step.[6] If you live in driving distance, this meeting could be easy, but with this expanded selection, the chances your true love (or long-term relationship) lives in a distant city, or even country, is not beyond belief.

    Here technology comes to the rescue again. Flights are easy to search for and book, often at an incredible discount. And the choices for accommodations run the range to fit any budget. Review sites will help you find the perfect meeting spot. Map apps will make sure you get there on time. Then it is all up to you.

    Think positively

    In the end, dating and romance is all about people. Yes, there are some people out there that are using this incredible technology to deceive and cheat others for their own benefit, but that could happen in a bar or at a party.[7] Besides, there are steps you can take to make sure that the person you are sharing intimate details with is who they say they are.

    Advertising

    And the stigma that some people feel about online dating has been dissipating, and it has become more socially acceptable. Many people will know at least one friend who will readily admit that they met their partner online.

    Technology has helped men and women look beyond their neighbourhoods or family and friends for introductions to romance. Accepting and understanding what lies ahead may help make perfect matches that otherwise may have been impossible. Technology can help lead you to your happily ever after.

    Featured photo credit: Getty Images via cdn.skim.gs

    Reference

    More by this author

    Kyra Taylor

    Writer and Lawyer

    How Much Money You Should Have Saved at Different Stages of Your Life How to Make and Freeze Homemade Ricotta Cheese Four Best Business Card Printing Sites 4 Reasons Why You Should Use a Resume Template Three Common Causes of a Slow Internet and How to Speed It Up

    Trending in Communication

    1 10 Websites To Learn Something New In 30 Minutes A Day 2 7 Most Difficult Languages In The World to Learn For English Speakers 3 6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances 4 12 Signs You Are A Lifelong Learner 5 40 Ways to Achieve Peace Of Mind and Inner Calm

    Read Next

    Advertising
    Advertising
    Advertising

    Last Updated on June 19, 2019

    6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

    6 Ways to Be a Successful Risk Taker and Take More Chances

    I’ve stood on the edge of my own personal cliffs many times. Each time I jumped, something different happened. There were risks that started off great, but eventually faded. There were risks that left me falling until I hit the ground. There were risks that started slow, but built into massive successes.

    Every risk is different, but every risk is the same. You need to have some fundamentals ready before you jump, but not too many.

    It wouldn’t be a risk if you knew everything that was about to happen, would it? Here’re 6 ways to be a successful risk taker.

    1. Understand That Failure Is Going to Happen a Lot

    It’s part of life. Everything we do has failure attached to it. All successful people have stories of massive failure attached to them. Thinking that your risk is going to be pain free and run as smooth as silk is insane.

    Expect some pain and failure. Actually, expect a lot of it. Expect the sleepless nights with crazy thoughts of insecurity that leave you trembling under the covers. It’s going to happen, no matter how positive you are about the risk you are about to take.

    When failure hits, the only options are to keep going or quit. If you expect falling into a meadow of flowers and frolicking unicorns, then you’re going to immediately quit once you realize that getting to that meadow requires you to go through a rock filled cave filled with hungry bats.

    2. Trust the Muse

    Writing a story isn’t a big risk. It’s really just a risk on my time. So when I start writing a story, I’m scared it will be time wasted. Of course, it never really is. Even if the story doesn’t turn out fabulous, I still practiced.

    Advertising

    When I’ve taken risks in my life, the successful ones always seemed to happen when I followed the muse. Steven Pressfield describes the muse,

    “The Muse demands depth. Shallow does not work for her. If we’re seeking her help, we can’t stay in the kiddie end. When we work, we have to go hard and go deep.”

    The muse is a goddess who wants our attention and wants us to work on our passion.

    If you’re taking a risk in anything, it’s assumed that there is some passion built up behind that risk. That passion, deep inside you, is the muse. Trust it, focus on it, listen to it.

    The most successful articles and stories I write are the ones I’ve focused all my attention on. There were no interruptions during their creative development. I didn’t check my phone or go watch my Twitter feed. I was fully engaged in my work.

    Trust the muse, focus your attention on your risk, let the ideas and path develop themselves, and leave the distractions at the side of the road.

    3. Remember to Be Authentic

    Taking a risk and then turning into something you’re not, is only going to lead to disaster. Whether you are risking a new relationship or new opportunity, you must be yourself throughout the entire process.

    Advertising

    How many times have you acted like you loved something just because the men or woman you just started going out with loved it?

    For example, I’m not an office worker. I have an incredibly hard time working in a confined timeline (ie. 9-5). That’s why I write. I can do it whenever the mood strikes, I don’t have somebody breathing down my neck, telling me that I’m five minutes late, or missed a comma somewhere. I don’t have to walk on eggshells wondering if what I’m writing will get me fired or make me lose a promotion. I can just be myself, period.

    One girlfriend didn’t understand that. She believed solely in the 9-5 motto, specifically something in human resources because that was a very stable job. I was scared for my future, but I stuck with the relationship because of my own insecurities and acted like I would do it to make her happy.

    Here’s a tip: NEVER take away from your happiness to make somebody else satisfied (note I didn’t say happy).

    Making somebody else happy will make you happy. Doing something to satisfy somebody is murder on your soul.

    4. Don’t Take Any Risks While You’re Not Clearheaded

    I’d been considering the risk for a couple weeks. It all sounded good. I was 22 and I could be rich in a couple of years. That’s what they were selling me, anyways.

    One night, while at a house party with some friends, I found myself at a computer. A couple of my friends were standing nearby and asked me what I was doing. I told them I was considering starting my own business and it was only going to cost me $1,500.

    Advertising

    Of course, when a bunch of drunk people are surrounded by more drunk people, things get enthusiastic. It sounded like the best business venture in the world to everybody, including me. So I signed up and gave them my credit card number.

    A few painful months and close to $4,000 dollars lost later, I quit the business. I was young and fell into the pyramid scheme trap. It was an expensive drunk decision.

    Drinking heavily and making decisions has a proven track record of failure. So when you have something important to decide, don’t let your emotions take over your brain.

    5. Fully Understand What You’re Risking

    It was the start of my baseball comeback. I got a tryout with a professional scout and killed it. After the tryout, he talked to my girlfriend and myself, making sure we understood I would be gone for up to 6 months at a time. That strain on the relationship could be tough.

    We understood. I left to play ball, chose to stay in the city I played in, and a year later we broke up. Not because of baseball, see point 3 above. Taking big risks can have massive impacts on everything in your life from relationships to money. Know what you’re risking before you take the risk.

    If you believe the risk will be worth it or you have the support you need from your family, then go ahead and make the leap.

    You can get more guidance on how to take calculated risks from this article: How to Take Calculated Risk to Achieve More and Become Successful

    Advertising

    6. Remember This Is Your One Shot Only

    As far as we know officially, this is our one shot at life, so why not take some risks?

    The top thing people are saddened by on their deathbeds are these regrets. They wish they did more, asked that girl in the coffee shop out, spoke out when they should have, or did what they were passionate about.

    Don’t regret. Learn and experience. Live. Take the risks you believe in. Be yourself and make the world a better place.

    Now go ahead, take that risk and be successful at it!

    More About Living Your Best Life

    Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

    Read Next