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Caring Too Much Only Brings You To An Unwanted Destination, Adopt This Mindset Instead

Caring Too Much Only Brings You To An Unwanted Destination, Adopt This Mindset Instead

With the rapid development of different social media channels, we get opportunities to connect with people all over the globe. Social media allows a lot of feedback, whether it be negative or positive, to reach us. Moreover, it’s easy to feel depressed when seeing other people’s perfect lives displayed on their profiles and helpful to remember, other people’s opinion isn’t hurting us, it is how we look at them that hurts us more. On the upside, since we created this mindset, we can change it. All we need to do is learn how to prioritize better.

Dealing with facts

Let’s be honest, dealing with negative comments on social media is far from easy. The same goes for any type of social, personal, or professional situation in which our actions, opinions, beliefs, or physical appearance are being questioned, to say the least, but it’s up to us how much we let it interfere with our self-image.

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The facts are – you cannot make everyone like you… It just doesn’t work that way and it is for the better, actually. A wise man once said that trying to make everyone like you will only make you invisible in this world. Once you really understand this, your life will take a completely different turn.

You will experience huge relief once you realize that doing something just to please the masses will actually stop the progression of your own, unique potential and character. At the end of the day, you don’t want everyone to agree with you and share your opinion while wearing a mask just to conform. That will ruin your chances of meeting like-minded people because they will never get to see the real you.

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You only measure up to yourself

The internet, social media in particular, no matter how great may be, can impair our motivation and self-esteem. If we take a look at somebody’s perfectly staged social media pictures, we may feel bad about our boring lives. Or, if each time we get an idea or learn a new skill, we could find at least a thousand people who can do the same thing fifty times better. We can easily fall into a trap of wanting to be like other people whose lives and talents seem so much greater than our own.

There is nothing exciting about being just like everyone else. What is the point of that? Have you ever wondered why we love certain artists, leaders, or famous, successful entrepreneurs so much? It is because they were brave enough to be themselves, dream their own dreams, and look for their own ways of doing things. You don’t have any rivals nor do you have to measure your success against someone else’s. You don’t need to explain your choices to anyone. The only thing you should care about is being more you. As long as being you doesn’t harm anyone else, you can be content with who you are. Once you become laser-focused on you and your goals, aspirations, principles, and desires, the entire world can be against you and you won’t be affected. Ironically, once you become your authentic self, your authenticity will show in your personal and professional lives, and more people will like you.

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Support system

Building a support system to help you care less about irrelevant things doesn’t only involve surrounding yourself with people who respect and love you (even though it helps), but first and foremost, this means developing a sense of worthiness and belief in yourself. When we truly believe in ourselves, we don’t need anyone’s approval. Once we take it as our responsibility to grow a little more each day, we will be able to focus more on our strengths than on our shortcomings. This won’t leave you with extra time or energy to care about anything not related to your goals.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on January 6, 2019

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

Why a Life Without Pain Is the Guarantee to True Suffering

No one wants to suffer. As a general rule, people like to avoid hurt and pain as much as possible. As a species, humans want a painless existence so much that scientists make a living trying to create it.

People can now choose “pain-free” labor for babies, and remedies to cure back pain, headaches, body-pains and even mental pains are a dime a dozen. Beyond medicine, we also work hard to experience little pain even when it comes to loss; often times we believe a breakup won’t hurt as much if we are the ones to call it off.

But would a world without pain truly be painless? It’s unlikely. In fact, it would probably be painful exactly for that reason.

If people never experienced hurt, they wouldn’t know what it was. On the surface level, that seems like a blessing, but think for a moment: if we didn’t know pain, how would we know peace? If you don’t know you’ve hurt or been hurt, how would you know that you need to heal? Imagine someone only knowing they have an incurable cancer at the final stage because no obvious symptoms have appeared at early stages.

Without the feeling of pain, people won’t be aware of dangerous situations—what should or shouldn’t do for survival.

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Pain Is Our Guardian

Pain serves to protect human beings from harmful actions. It’s the same reason parents teach babies that fire equals hot, and that hot equals hurt. Should the baby still place its hand in a fire or on a stove, the intense pain remains so memorable, that the child is certain never to repeat that action.

In the same way, pain within human bodies can serve as a warning that something is not right. Because you know what it is to feel “well,” you know what it is to feel poorly.[1]

Along with serving as a teacher of what not to do, pain also teaches you what you are made of in terms of what you can handle as an individual.

While the cliche, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” is a tired term, it’s used excessively for a reason: it’s true. Pain helps you learn to cope with life’s inevitable difficulties and sadnesses— to develop the grit it takes to push past hardships and carry on.

Whether it’s a shattering pain, like the loss of a loved one or a debilitating accident, pain affects everyone differently. But it still affects everyone. Take a breakup as an example, anyone who has experienced it knows it can hurt to the point of feeling physical. Especially the first breakup. At a young age, it feels like the loss of the only love you’ll ever know. As you grow and learn, you realize you’re more resilient with every ended relationship.

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No Pain, No Happiness

You only know happiness when you have known pain. While the idea of constant happiness sounds nice, there is little chance it would be. Without the comparison to happiness, there’s no reason to be grateful for it. That is to say, without ever knowing sadness or pain, you would have no reason to be grateful for happiness.

In reality, there is always something missing, or something unpleasant, but it is only through those realizations that you know to be grateful when you feel you have it all. Read more about why happiness and pain have to exist together: Chasing Happiness Won’t Make You Happy

In a somewhat counter-intuitive finding, researchers found one of the things that brings about the most happiness is challenge. When people are tested, they experience a greater sense of accomplishment and happiness when they are successful. It is largely for this reason that low-income individuals can often feel happier than those who have a sense of wealth.[2]

This is a great thing to remember the next time you feel you would be happier if you just had a little more cash.

Avoiding Pain Leads to More Suffering

Pain is inevitable, embrace it positively. Anyone who strives to have a painless life is striving for perfectionism; and perfectionism guarantees sadness because nothing will ever be perfect.

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This isn’t a bleak outlook, but rather a truthful one. The messy moments in life tend to create the best memories and gratitude. Pain often serves as a reminder of lessons learned, much like physical scars on the body.

Pain will always be painful, but it’s the hurt feelings that help wiser decisions be made.

Allow Room for the Inevitable

Learning how to tolerate pain, especially the emotional kind, is a valuable lesson.

Accepting and feeling pain makes you human. There is no weakness in that. Weakness only comes when you try to blame your own pain on someone else, expecting the blame to alleviate your hurting. There’s a saying,

“Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting your enemy to die.”

Think back to the last time you were really angry with someone. Maybe you were hurt because you got laid off from a job. You felt angry and that anger caused so much pain that you could feel it in a physical way. Being angry and blaming your ex boss for that pain didn’t affect him or her in any way; you’re the only one who lost sleep over it.

The healthier thing to do in a situation like that is acknowledge your pain and the anger along with it. Accept it and explore it in an introspective way. How can you learn and grow? What is at the root of that pain? Are you truly hurting and angry about being laid off, or is the pain more a correlation to you feeling like you failed?

While uncomfortable, exploring your pain is a way to raise your self-awareness. By understanding more about yourself, you know how to deal with similar situations in the future. You can never expect to be numb to difficult situations, but you will learn to better prepare financially for the loss of a job and be grateful for an income since you now know nothing is promised (no matter how much you work or how deserving you may feel).

Pain Hurts, but Numbness Would Be Worse

Pain does not feel good, but the bad feeling of it will help you learn and grow. It makes the sweet moments in life even sweeter and the gratitude more sincere.

To have a happier and more successful life, you don’t learn from success or accomplishment, but through pain and failures. For it is in those moments that you learn how to do better in the future or at least cope a little more easily.

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You are the strong person you are today because of the hardships this life has presented to you. While you may have felt out of control when those hard times came, the one thing you will always have control over is how you choose to react to things. The next time you hurt or you’re angry or sad, acknowledge it and allow yourself to ruminate in it. Then take a deep breath and start learning from that pain. You’ve got this!

Featured photo credit: Stocksnap via stocksnap.io

Reference

[1]University of Calgary: Why is Pain Important?
[2]Greater Good Magazine: The Importance of Pain

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