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Caring Too Much Only Brings You To An Unwanted Destination, Adopt This Mindset Instead

Caring Too Much Only Brings You To An Unwanted Destination, Adopt This Mindset Instead

With the rapid development of different social media channels, we get opportunities to connect with people all over the globe. Social media allows a lot of feedback, whether it be negative or positive, to reach us. Moreover, it’s easy to feel depressed when seeing other people’s perfect lives displayed on their profiles and helpful to remember, other people’s opinion isn’t hurting us, it is how we look at them that hurts us more. On the upside, since we created this mindset, we can change it. All we need to do is learn how to prioritize better.

Dealing with facts

Let’s be honest, dealing with negative comments on social media is far from easy. The same goes for any type of social, personal, or professional situation in which our actions, opinions, beliefs, or physical appearance are being questioned, to say the least, but it’s up to us how much we let it interfere with our self-image.

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The facts are – you cannot make everyone like you… It just doesn’t work that way and it is for the better, actually. A wise man once said that trying to make everyone like you will only make you invisible in this world. Once you really understand this, your life will take a completely different turn.

You will experience huge relief once you realize that doing something just to please the masses will actually stop the progression of your own, unique potential and character. At the end of the day, you don’t want everyone to agree with you and share your opinion while wearing a mask just to conform. That will ruin your chances of meeting like-minded people because they will never get to see the real you.

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You only measure up to yourself

The internet, social media in particular, no matter how great may be, can impair our motivation and self-esteem. If we take a look at somebody’s perfectly staged social media pictures, we may feel bad about our boring lives. Or, if each time we get an idea or learn a new skill, we could find at least a thousand people who can do the same thing fifty times better. We can easily fall into a trap of wanting to be like other people whose lives and talents seem so much greater than our own.

There is nothing exciting about being just like everyone else. What is the point of that? Have you ever wondered why we love certain artists, leaders, or famous, successful entrepreneurs so much? It is because they were brave enough to be themselves, dream their own dreams, and look for their own ways of doing things. You don’t have any rivals nor do you have to measure your success against someone else’s. You don’t need to explain your choices to anyone. The only thing you should care about is being more you. As long as being you doesn’t harm anyone else, you can be content with who you are. Once you become laser-focused on you and your goals, aspirations, principles, and desires, the entire world can be against you and you won’t be affected. Ironically, once you become your authentic self, your authenticity will show in your personal and professional lives, and more people will like you.

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Support system

Building a support system to help you care less about irrelevant things doesn’t only involve surrounding yourself with people who respect and love you (even though it helps), but first and foremost, this means developing a sense of worthiness and belief in yourself. When we truly believe in ourselves, we don’t need anyone’s approval. Once we take it as our responsibility to grow a little more each day, we will be able to focus more on our strengths than on our shortcomings. This won’t leave you with extra time or energy to care about anything not related to your goals.

Featured photo credit: https://unsplash.com/ via unsplash.com

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Ana Erkic

Social Media Consultant, Online Marketing Strategist, Copywriter, CEO and Co-Founder of Growato

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Last Updated on March 22, 2019

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

How to Be Happy: Why Pursuing Happiness Will Make You Unhappy

When we talk about happiness, we think about staying happy all the time – every single day, every single minute with zero negativity.  We try to pursue this constant state of “happiness” as our goal, and avoid anything that may take it away from us.

But what is the meaning of this type of “happiness”?  It’s like your favorite food.  The more you have of it doesn’t always mean the better.  On the contrary, when you only have a chance to eat it sparingly, that’s when you really savor every bite of it.  So is it the food itself that makes you happy, or is it how valuable it is to you when you are eating it?

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We should always remember that only by experiencing sadness do we understand what it is to be happy.

Video Summary

Assuming others are always happy is the biggest misunderstanding of happiness.

Most people see those who have seemingly perfect lives and assume they are happy all the time.  Since childhood, we are conditioned to chase the idea of “happily-ever-after” that we see in fairytales.  On social media, everyone tends to share only the best looking aspects of their lives (including ourselves).  So it’s very easy to have a distorted view of what “happiness” is around us.

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In reality, there is always something missing, something lacking, or something unpleasant.

No one has a perfect life.  Even the most glamorous celebrities or the richest billionaires, everyone has their own set of challenges and problems.

When we feel negative, we’re only focusing on a small fluctuating curve.  As CEO of Lifehack, I’ve had to deal with countless problems, and some of them felt like real setbacks at the time.  During those moments, it really seemed like these problems would be the life or death of my company and my life goals.  But I got through them, and weeks, months and eventually years passed with many more ups and downs.

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You need to keep your sights on the extended curve.   Looking back now, a lot of those “really big” problems at the time seem like only small blips in a long line of experiences. Recalling them in my mind now makes me smile!

Stop trying to be happy. Just be.

It’s natural to want to be happy as often as possible.  So what can we do?  First, throw away the belief that a perfect life means happiness.  Personally, I would be miserable if everything was perfect.  It’s from experiencing the pains of lifelong challenges that drives us to care for others when they are experiencing the same trials.  If life was perfect, you wouldn’t be able to empathize.  If life was perfect, you wouldn’t grow.

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To be truly happy, stop chasing permanent happiness.  It sounds like a paradox.  What I mean is, accept that there will be ups and downs throughout life.  Gracefully understand that happiness is a fluctuation of positive and negative events.

Understand the importance of gratitude.  Instead of focusing on the unpleasant moment right now, flash back your memory to when you had or didn’t have something.  I like to think about my career, for example.  When I didn’t have a career I was passionate about, I felt lost and demotivated.  I felt like everyone was figuring out their lives but me.  But when I found my purpose and started Lifehack, I was deeply happy, even before I realized I would be successful!  This memory keeps me going when there are tough spots.  It takes the darkness to make us grateful for the light.

Happiness and sadness exist together

What it all comes down to is this: your life will be filled with beautiful, happy and incredible moments.  Happy tears and joyous shouts and funny stories.  But your life will also be filled with rain and storms that don’t ever seem to pass when you’re going through them.

But whether your face is warmed by the sunshine, or your heart is dampened by the rain, know that it’s all part of the ebb and flow of life.  Treasure the happy moments and power through the sad ones.  Don’t try to avoid “sad” or “negative” experiences, and blindly chase being “happy”.  In the end you will achieve a true level of contentment in your life, based on meaningful experiences and achievements.  Being able to create growth and meaning out of both positive and negative events — that is the true meaning of “happiness”.

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