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Embrace Your Imperfections Because They Make You More Likeable, Psychologists Say

Embrace Your Imperfections Because They Make You More Likeable, Psychologists Say

Nike may have said, “Just Do It,” but Mama always said, “Do Your Best.”  It is the latter mantra that compels many people to strive for perfection in the completion of average tasks and/or professional pursuits. Regardless of the activity seeking completion, no one wants to admit they didn’t achieve their goal or show signs of even the smallest hint of failure. Yet, failures and mistakes help us gain the respect and likability of others. Psychologists have even proven that embracing and accepting the imperfections of yourself and others really can lead to increased happiness.

The Pratfall Effect

Inadvertent, clumsy mistakes make people more likable. An experiment conducted by psychologist Elliot Aronson proved this to be true. For his study, a group of people took a quiz. He recorded their answers but also made a record of some participants knocking over a cup of coffee. These clumsy quiz participants were deemed more likable by the listeners of the tapes. Why? Because their mistakes made them more human.

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The Spotlight Effect

In addition to our mistakes making us appear more human, they also are barely noticed. Think about it–we live in a world filled with people consumed by themselves. Often referred to as self-obsession or self-centeredness, we think only of ourselves and how we are viewed by those outside of us. But if everyone is consumed with themselves, who has time to notice our small mistakes? No one.

The Spotlight Effect simply means that no one notices you as much as you think they do. The spotlight really is not on you. So relax, make mistakes, and laugh at yourself a little.

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What does this mean? This means that being human is attractive, noticed and welcomed.

Embrace and Accept Yourself

How many people are really in touch with their humanity? Being human means we are prone to err, so focusing on our mistakes is, quite simply, a mistake. If we really want to make a difference in the world or even in our own lives, accepting our flaws and imperfections is necessary and maybe even mandatory. If other people like us because they see our mistakes, it is time we like ourselves more because we are imperfect, human and, at times, clumsy.

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In this way, we move forward in life and achieve other goals that are more stellar simply because we offer the world who we really are. Accept yourself!

Accepting Others

The more we accept ourselves, the better able we are to accept others. No one is perfect. Chances are if we can accept our own imperfections, we are less likely to judge, critique, and shun others who display signs of imperfection. The fact that other people are human too means they too will make mistakes.

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Alternative Focus

If we spent less time focusing on our imperfections, we could spend more time paying attention to matters outside of ourselves. Many communities are built and sustained on the labor of men and women who dedicate their time and energy to helping others. If we place our energies and interests on people outside ourselves–people who are less fortunate, lonely or sick–we have less time to ponder our own faults and idiosyncrasies. We benefit by helping others improve the quality of their everyday existence.

A Legacy

Finally, accepting our imperfections, then other people’s mistakes to, in turn, help others, allows us to leave a footprint on the earth that is vibrant and memorable. When people help other people, the universe notices. In time, the hard work and labor of goodwill is rewarded openly, even though the acts were done with a motive to be helpful, gracious, and kind to someone unknown.

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Michelle Owens

Freelance Writer/Editor

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Published on July 29, 2020

How to Build Strategic Thinking Skills for Effective Leadership

How to Build Strategic Thinking Skills for Effective Leadership

Have you been thinking of how you can be a more strategic leader during these uncertain times? Has the pandemic thrown a wrench at all your carefully laid out plans and initiatives?

You’re not alone. The truth is, we all want some stability in our careers and teams during this disruptive pandemic.

However, this now requires a bit more effort than before and making the leap from merely surviving to thriving means buckling down to some serious strategic thinking and maintaining a determined mindset.

Is There a Way to Thrive Despite These Disruptions?

Essentially – yes, although you need to be willing to put in the work. Every leader wants to develop strategic thinking skills so that they can enhance overall team performance and boost their company’s success, but what exactly does it mean to be strategic in the context of the times we live in?

If you happen to be in a leadership position in your organization right now, you are most probably navigating precarious waters given the disruptions caused by the pandemic. There’s a lot more pressure than before because your actions and decisions will have a much greater impact these days not just on you, but also to the people who are part of your team.

Companies often bring me in to coach executives on strategic thinking and planning. And while pre-pandemic I would usually start by highlighting the advantages of strategic thinking, nowadays, I always begin these Zoom coaching sessions by driving home the point that this pandemic has now made strategic thinking not just an option but an absolute must.

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Assessing and making plans through the lens of a good strategy might require significant work at first. Nevertheless, you can take comfort in the fact that the rewards will far outweigh the effort, as you’ll soon see after following the 8 strategic steps I have outlined below.

8 Steps to Strategic Thinking

As events unfold during these strange times, you’re bound to feel wrong-footed every now and then. Being a leader during this pandemic means preparing for more change not just for you, but for your whole team as well.

As states and cities go through a cycle of lockdowns and reopening, employees will experience the full gamut of human emotions in dizzying speed, and you will often be called on to provide insight and stability to your team and workplace.

Strategic thinking is all about anticipation and preparation. Rather than expending your energy merely helping your company put out fires and survive, you can put the time to better use by charting out a solid plan that can protect and help you and your company thrive.

Take the following steps to build solid initiatives and roll out successful projects:

Step 1: Step Back, Then Set the Scope

One of the things that leaders get wrong during their first attempt at strategic thinking is expecting that it is just another item on a checklist. The truth is, you need to take a good, long look at the bigger picture before anything else. This means decisively prioritizing and stepping away from tasks that can be delegated to others. Free up your schedule so you can focus on this crucial task at hand.

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Then, proceed with setting the scope and the strategic goals of the project or initiative you plan to build or execute. Ask yourself the bigger question of why you need to embark on a particular project and when would be the right time to do so.

You need to set a timeline as well, anywhere from 6 months to 5 years. Keep in mind that your projections will deteriorate the further out you go as you make longer-term plans.

For this reason, add extra resources, flexibility, and resilience if you have a longer timeline. You should also be making the goals less specific if you’re charting it out for the longer term.

Step 2: Make a List of Experts

Make and keep a list of credible people who can contribute solid insight and feedback to your initiative. This could range from key stakeholders to industry experts, mentors, and even colleagues who previously planned and rolled out similar projects.

Reach out to the people on this list regularly while you work through the steps to bring diverse insight into your planning process. This way, you will be able to approach any problem from every angle.

Bringing key stakeholders into this initial process will also display your willingness to listen and empathize with their issues. In return, this will build trust and potentially pave the way for smoother buy-in down the line.

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Step 3: Anticipate the Future

After identifying your goals and gathering feedback, it’s time to consider what the future would look like if everything goes as you intuitively anticipate. Then, lay out the kind and amount of resources (money, time, social capital) that might be needed to keep this anticipated future running.

Step 4: Brainstorm on Potential Internal and External Problems

Next, think of how the future would look if you encountered unexpected problems internal and external to the business activity that seriously jeopardize your expected vision of the future. Write out what kind of potential problems you might encounter, including low-probability ones.

Assess the likelihood that you will run into each problem. To gauge, multiply the likelihood by the number of resources needed to address the problem. Try to convert the resources into money if possible so that you can have a single unit of measurement.

Then, think of what steps you can take to address these internal and external problems before they even happen. Write out how much you expect these steps might cost. Lastly, add up all the extra resources that may be needed because of the different possible problems and all the steps you committed to taking to address them in advance.

Step 5: Identify Potential Opportunities, Internal and External

Imagine how your expected plan would look if unexpected opportunities came up. Most of these will be external but consider internal ones as well. Then, gauge the likelihood of each scenario and the number of resources you would need to take advantage of each opportunity. Convert the resources into money if possible.

Then, think of what steps you can take in advance to take advantage of unexpected opportunities and write out how much you expect these steps might cost. Finally, add up all the extra resources that may be needed because of the different unexpected opportunities and all the steps you committed to taking to address them in advance.

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Step 6: Check for Cognitive Biases

Check for potential cognitive biases that are relevant to you personally or to the organization as a whole, and adjust the resources and plans to address such errors.[1] Make sure to at least check for loss aversion, status quo bias, confirmation bias, attentional bias, overconfidence, optimism bias, pessimism bias, and halo and horns effects.

Step 7: Account for Unknown Unknowns (Black Swans)

To have a more effective strategy, account for black swans as well. These are unknown unknowns -unpredictable events that have potentially severe consequences.

To account for these black swans, add 40 percent to the resources you anticipate. Also, consider ways to make your plans more flexible and secure than you intuitively feel is needed.

Step 8: Communicate and Take the Next Steps

Communicate the plan to your stakeholders, and give them a heads up about the additional resources needed. Then, take the next steps to address the unanticipated problems and take advantage of the opportunities you identified by improving your plans, as well as allocating and reserving resources.

Finally, take note that there will be cases when you’ll need to go back and forth these steps to make improvements, (a fix here, an improvement there) so be comfortable with revisiting your strategy and reaching out to your list of experts.

Conclusion

A great way to deal with feelings of uncertainty during this pandemic is to anticipate obstacles with a good plan – and a sure road to that is practicing strategic thinking.

In the coming months and years, you’ll need to continue navigating uncharted territory so that you can lead your team to safe waters. Regularly doing these 8 steps to strategic thinking will ensure that you can prepare for and adapt  to the coming changes with increasing clarity, perspective, and efficiency.[2]

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Featured photo credit: JESHOOTS.COM via unsplash.com

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