“WORDS ARE POWERFUL. THEY HAVE THE ABILITY TO CREATE A MOMENT AND THE STRENGTH TO DESTROY IT.”
– SUSAN GALE.
Words have the power to attract, love, and to hate. By listening to the right words we can see the things we have not seen before. Words can make that much of a difference. They can transform your life or somebody else’s.
There were times in my life when I wanted to give up, but then I would put on motivational video or listen to TED Talks about never giving up. It was because of their motivational speeches that I would feel inspired and motivated again. By listening to the powerful words, not only has my life changed, but I have also learned what a big difference someone can make to the lives of others, simply by saying something that resonates.
If you are unfamiliar with Reddit, it is an online social media community where users vote on content. Some Reddit users submit links to online content and vote on which links are important. In my opinion, one of the greatest aspects of Reddit is the AskReddit.
It is essentially a forum where a member of Reddit can post a question and the entire community can join in and give their opinion on the matter. Some are interesting, some are funny, and some are incredibly inspiring, like the one that you are going to read about in this article.
Some Redditors were asked the question, “What is something someone said that forever changed your way of thinking?”
Here are some of the top answers:
“When I was 38, I contemplated beginning a two-year Associates Degree in Radiography. I was talking to a friend and had almost talked myself out of doing it. I said ‘I’m too old to start that. I’ll be 40 when I get my degree.’ My friend said, ‘If you don’t do it, you’ll still be 40, but without the degree.’ I’m nearly 60 now, and that degree has been the difference between making a decent living, and struggling to get by.
“When I was young and having what I thought was a serious relationship talk with my first real SO, I told her that I just wanted to find the right person. Without missing a beat she said, ‘Everybody is looking for the right person, and nobody is trying to be the right person.’
That stopped me in my tracks.”
“My mom was dying. A friend told me, ‘You have your whole life to freak out about this– don’t do it in front of her.'”
“I was 13 years old, trying to teach my 6-year-old sister how to dive into a swimming pool from the side of the pool. It was taking quite a while as my sister was really nervous about it. We were at a big, public pool, and nearby there was a woman, about 75 years old, slowly swimming laps. Occasionally, she would stop and watch us. Finally, she swam over to us just when I was really putting the pressure on, trying to get my sister to try the dive, and my sister was shouting, ‘But I’m afraid!! I’m so afraid!!’ The old woman looked at my sister, raised her fist defiantly in the air, and said, ‘So be afraid! And then do it anyway!'”
“’It’s only embarrassing if you’re embarrassed.’ Changed my life forever.”
“I met a person who was in a wheelchair. He related a story about how a person once asked if it was difficult to be confined to a wheelchair. He responded, ‘I’m not confined to my wheelchair – I am liberated by it. If it wasn’t for my wheelchair, I would be bed-bound and never able to leave my room or house.'”
“’The person that you will spend the most time within your life is yourself, so try to make yourself as interesting as possible.’”
“Paraphrasing what another Redditor told someone, but it was basically, ‘Don’t be a dick to your dog. He’s a few years of your life, but you are all of his.'”
“‘Everyone you meet knows something you don’t.’ My grandfather told me this, and it’s been a good reminder that I am surrounded by teachers.”
“A good friend once told me, ‘You have to be comfortable with being uncomfortable.'”
“’I’m not afraid of death. It’s the stake one puts up in order to play the game of life. – Jean Girraudoux.’ It is the only thing I’ve ever read that helped me deal with my own mortality.”
“‘People won’t remember the words you say, but how it made them feel.”
“’Isn’t it funny how day by day nothing changes but, when we look back everything is different… – C.S Lewis’.”
“‘Education is expensive, but no education is more expensive.’ Definitely took school more seriously after someone said that to me.”
“‘Next year, you’ll wish you had started today.'”
“In an episode of Louie, he tells one of his daughters, ‘The only time you should look in your neighbor’s bowl is to make sure he has enough.’ I’m sure Louis CK didn’t invent that on his own, but it was the first time I’d heard it, and it’s stuck with me.”
“’Do it to do it, not to have done it.’”
“’You are not required to set yourself on fire to keep other people warm.'”
“I rather live a life of ‘oh wells’ than ‘what ifs?’”
“A small thing, but vastly more important than it sounds:
I was sitting on a bus once, and we came to the railroad tracks. There were some cars sitting in between us and the next red light, so if a train came, we’d be stuck until it had passed. That was always a couple of annoying minutes.
Then the light turned green, and the bus went across the train tracks without having to wait for a train. Phew, crisis averted. Then, behind me, a mother said to her small child: ‘That was too bad, we didn’t get to see the train today.’
That was the perfect way to frame that. Why not enjoy what you get?”
Featured photo credit: First Descents via firstdescents.org
Last Updated on April 23, 2019
How to Set Stretch Goals and Keep Your Team Motivated
Stretch goals are a lot like physical fitness. When you adopt a physical sport such as running, continual practice leads to increased stamina, growth and progress.
While commitment to the sport improves performance, true growth happens when you are stretched beyond your comfort zone. I know this from personal experience.
For years, I was an avid runner. I ran with a variety of running groups in the Washington, D.C., area and in Columbus, Ohio, where I lived prior to moving to the nation’s capital in 2011.
While I was initially fearful about slacking off on my exercise habit when I moved to D.C., running enthusiasts in the area provided continual motivation, inspiring me to lace up my shoes day after day. Much to my surprise, many of the area’s running stores (including Pacers and Potomac River Running) boasted running groups that met in the mornings and evenings. So, it was relatively easy for a newcomer like me to connect with like-minded peers.
I was never a particularly fast runner, but I enjoyed the afterglow of the sport: being completely drained but feeling a sense of accomplishment; setting and reaching goals; buying and wearing out new tennis shoes. The sound of throngs of feet pounding the pavement in semi-unison is still enough to bring tears to my eyes. Yes, I sometimes tear up at the start of races.
Of all the groups I ran with, the Pacers Store group that met on Monday nights in Logan Circle boasted the fastest runners. I met up with the group week after week only to be the slowest runner. It was difficult to muster the courage to get up every week and meet the group knowing what was waiting for me: sweating and watching the backs of fellow runners.
Each time I joined the group, I was stretching myself without even realizing it. Instead of feeling like I was transitioning into a better running, for a long time I felt I was torturing myself.
Then something remarkable happened. I went for a run with a different set of runners and noticed my time had improved. I was running at a faster pace and doing so with ease. What was once uncomfortable for me I now handled with ease.
The reason I was becoming a better runner was because I was taking myself out of my comfort zone and challenging myself physically and mentally. This example illustrates the process of growth.
Fortunately, we can create situations that stretch us in our personal and professional lives.
Table of Contents
What Is a Stretch Goal?
A stretch goal – as authors Sim B. Sitkin, C. Chet Miller and Kelly E. See detail an article “The Stretch Goal Paradox” in Harvard Business Review – is something that is extremely difficult and novel. It is something that not everyone does, and it’s sometimes considered impossible.
In general, you establish stretch goals by doing things that are difficult or temporarily challenging.
For instance, when I was first promoted to a senior communications management role, I knew I needed to beef up my relationships with media personalities. I set a goal to once a month book a day of media interviews in New York City – which is home to many media outlets, including SiriusXM radio, CNN, NBC News, HuffPost, VIBE.
This was a huge goal because it meant not only identifying the right people to meet with but convincing them to meet with me and my team. While I didn’t end up meeting the goal of doing a full day of media interviews in New York City, I met more people than I would have met had I not established the goal and instead stayed in the comfort of my D.C. office.
It is important to note that just because you establish a stretch goal doesn’t mean you’ll achieve the goal each time. However, the process of trying is guaranteed to provide some level of growth.
The Importance of Creating Stretch Goals
The beginning of the year is a perfect time to assess where you are excelling and where there is room for you to grow. I typically start the year by creating a yearlong strategic plan for myself.
I think about the things that are necessary to do and things that would be cool to do. I assess the people I should know and think through how to meet them. Then I ask myself if the goals are realistic and what would need to happen for me to achieve them.
Over time, I have learned that there are five things I can do to set stretch goals:
1. Get Outside of Your Head
If I exist within the confines of my imagination, I imperil my own growth and creativity.
If I examine my accomplishments and celebrate them in isolation of others’ accomplishments, my vantage point is limited.
I want to be comfortable with what I accomplish, but I also want to be motivated by watching others. In some respects, stretching is about expanding your network of friends, associates and mentors. These are the people who will propel or slow your growth and development.
Since two are better than one, I always value being able to share my progress with others, seek feedback and then map a plan for success.
2. Focus on a Couple Areas at a Time
When setting goals, it is important to focus on a couple of areas at a time. Most of us are only able to focus on a few things at a time, and if you feel you are unable to tackle all that is before you, you may simply disengage.
I see this in so many areas of life:
When people get in debt, if they believe the debt is insurmountable, they refuse to look at incoming bills for fear of facing down the debt. Unfortunately, many businesses go awry when setting stretch goals.
In “The Stretch Goal Paradox,” Sitkin, Miller and See note:
“Our research suggests that though the use of stretch goals is quite common, successful use is not. And many executives set far too many stretch goals. In the past five years, for example, Tesla failed to meet more than 20 of founder Elon Musk’s ambitious projections and missed half of them by nearly a year, according to the Wall Street Journal.”
Goal-setting is like a marathon, not a sprint. It doesn’t all need to happen at the same time, and pacing is extremely important if you want to get to the finish line. It is better to focus on a couple goals at a time, master them and then move on to the next thing.
3. Set Aside Time Each Year to Focus on Goal-Setting
When I was a managing director for communications for the Advancement Project, I spent the first part of every year facilitating a communications planning meeting.
The planning meeting began with the team members assessing the goals the team had established in the preceding year, and whether those goals were realistic or not. If we failed to meet certain goals, we broke down why that happened. From there, we brainstormed about possibilities for the current year.
For instance, one year we set a goal of pitching and getting 24 opinion essays published. This was audacious because no one on the eight-person team had the luxury of focusing exclusively on editing and pitching opinion essays to publications around the world. We would need to focus on pitching in between the rest of our work.
We hit this goal within the first eight months of the year. Remarkably, in total, we ended up getting 40 opinion essays published that year, which was an indication that our original goal was too low. We upped the goal to 41 the next year, and amazingly, we hit 42 published opinion essays or guest columns.
From this experience, we not only learned what was feasible, we also learned the power of focus.
When we focused as a team on getting the commentary on our issues out in the public domain, we were successful. The key in all of this is that there was a ton of discussion around which goal we’d pursue and why.
Equally important, as a manager, I didn’t set the goals alone; the team members and I established the goals collaboratively. This ensured buy-in from each individual.
4. Use the S.M.A.R.T. Goal Model to Set Realistic Goals
is a synonym for specific, measurable, attainable, realistic and time-bound. For the sake of this article, the realistic portion of the acronym is most important.
While you want to set audacious goals, you want to ensure that they are realistic as well. No one is served by setting a goal that is impossible to accomplish.
Failing to meet goals can be demoralizing for teams, so it’s important to be sober-eyed about what is possible. Additionally, the purpose of setting goals is to advance and grow, not depress morale.
For instance, my team would have been discouraged had I begun the year asking it to pitch and place 40 opinion essays if we didn’t already have a track record of placing close to two dozen essays.
By using the S.M.A.R.T. formula, we were able to achieve all that we set out to do.
5. Break the Goal up into Small Digestible Parts
I am a recovering perfectionist. As a writer, being a perfectionist can be counterproductive because I can fail to start if I don’t see a clear pathway to victory.
When I had a goal of doing daylong media meetings in New York City, I had to think through all the barriers to achieving that goal and all the steps required to meet the goal.
One step was identifying which reporters, producers and hosts to engage. Another step was writing a pitch or meeting invitation that would capture their attention. Another step was thinking through the program areas I wanted to highlight and the new angles I could offer to different reporters.
Since reporters want to cover stories that no one else has written, I needed to come up with fresh angles for each of the reporters I was engaging. An additional step was thinking through who from my team I’d take with me to the various meetings.
I was clear that, as a talking head, as public relations reps are sometimes called, I needed the right spokesperson in order to land repeated meetings with different outlets.
A final step was thinking through what I needed to bring to each meeting and which reports, videos and testimonials would buttress our claims and be of interest to media figures.
As I walked through what was needed to bring my goal of doing daylong meetings to reality, I realized that not only was the idea within reach, but I was excited to tackle the challenge.
From that point until now, I have learned to break down goals into smaller parts and tackle the smaller parts on the path to knocking the goal out of the park.
The Bottom Line
These are my recommendations for setting stretch goals, and there are a ton of other resources to support you in the workplace and in your community.
For instance, LinkedIn’s Lynda.com platform has a wonderful suite of leadership development videos, including ones on establishing stretch goals. This is a paid resource but may be worth the investment if you lead a team or want to invest in tools for your own growth and development.
More Articles About Goals Setting
- How Setting Personal Goals Makes You a Greater Achiever
- How SMART Goal Setting Makes Lasting Changes in Your Life
- How to Set Goals and Achieve Them Successfully
- How to Use SMART Goal to Become Highly Successful in Life
Featured photo credit: Avatar of user Isaac Smith Isaac Smith @isaacmsmith Isaac Smith via unsplash.com
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